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To those who hurt you - unsent letters

Anch0r33Anch0r33 Obnoxiously Large AnchorSomewhere in the sea 🌊Community Champion Posts: 1,188 Wise Owl
edited January 22 in Anything Goes
Here's a space to write to the people who have hurt you. Feel free to anonymise your letters. Express yourself in any way you want, do it in multiple comments. Honestly let it all out. Once it's out there for others to see, hopefully you'll feel a weight off your chest.

You can write it in proper letter form or any other way you can think of doing it. Hopefully we can all encourage each other by using this space positively and supporting each other.

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Post edited by Connor on
Lucy307Emma_Jade09SkyeAislingDMLorryTrucklovemimoonLa_La
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Comments

  • Anch0r33Anch0r33 Obnoxiously Large Anchor Somewhere in the sea 🌊Community Champion Posts: 1,188 Wise Owl
    To my dad - I can hardly blame you for anything tbh. You've been so absent in my life it's almost like you don't exist. But you do exist so there's my problem. Maybe if you'd made enough of an effort to get to know me then I'd have maybe felt able to open up to you. Maybe if you'd fought for at least some custody or even wanted to see me more than twice a year for like half an hour if I was lucky then you'd have realised I was hurting. Why did you never question visiting me at my grandparents house and never at my mum's? Was it just easier for you to go along with it? Did you just think that everything was fine? You didn't even want to see my living conditions, never asked to see my bedroom and you know what - you stopped calling me when I was still single digits. Why was that? Oh because you had another daughter that was living with you and suddenly I became so much less important.

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    Lucy307Past UserLorryTrucklovemimoon
  • Anch0r33Anch0r33 Obnoxiously Large Anchor Somewhere in the sea 🌊Community Champion Posts: 1,188 Wise Owl
    To my mum - I don't even know where to start with you. You've hurt me in so many ways, but for some reason I'm still super loyal to you. I worked it out and It's coming up the 6th anniversary of when I technically (and unfortunately unofficially seeminly) went into care. I haven't lived with you since I was 14. You know, I thought it was 7 years but tbh it's all merged together. It was just before I turned 15 which was why social work didn't do anything properly. They thought I was old enough to choose where I lived, but you couldn't provide me a safe home, could you mum?

    I know you were mentally unwell and generally unstable, but you could've done something about it. You could've asked for help. When you stopped taking your tablets, you got unpredictable and could be violent. I know I wasn't much better, and I'm sorry for that, but I was the child. It took me a while to realise that, but it's not okay for you to kick my head because I didn't want to get up for school. It wasn't okay to launch whatever was beside you towards me - as much as I did it back, you were supposed to be the adult.

    So many people documented us to be more like a friendship group than you as a mother figure. This meant I had to grow up without a dad and without a mum. I grew up in a friendship group.

    I still resent some of the things you've done. Especially the living conditions. I know it was tough for you, but you set me no boundaries and this was hard for me. Sure at the time it would've been a blast. I enjoyed staying up until every kids channel went to teleshopping and watching TV way after you went to bed to occupy myself - but I never did any homework and there was never any food in the house.

    You left the bath so dirty that it was black with dirt. I'm not sure how you expected me to wash in that, but I had to.

    Mum sometimes the toilet was so bad that I opted to use the kitchen sink, which to be quite honest was not much cleaner. The kitchen wasn't a functioning kitchen. The fridge was broken and the cupboards were empty. Mum I only ever ate when we went to my grandparents house. When we did have snacks, you expected me to eat them whilst sitting in a bed naked beside you. You sat there naked beside me and it's so uncomfortable to think about. The house was a mess, fly infestations were regular.

    You expected me to clean out all the small pets by myself and would shout at me if I didn't. I struggled to hold the bin bag open to get the sawdust in. Sometimes it was left so long that it was too heavy for me to deal with. The sawdust merged into a solid block of piss and shit. You complained if I didn't pick up the dog shit when I was 11 years old.

    Mum you expected too much of me and didn't know how to be a proper mum. I know you tried and I know you love me, but you're not a proper mum. I've never had a proper mum or a dad and that's okay.

    I don't blame you but I certainly don't blame myself.

    I wish I'd gone into care at a much younger age so I could've maybe had a normalish upbringing. Instead I had to face the world by myself, embarrassed to share my problems and living with my grandparents, seeing you every day.

    It hurts every single day.

    I was lucky enough to live in the equivalent of a group home and a foster home under the guise of living abroad, but I really learned a lot about how to function properly in society when I was there. If I didn't live with those families and the people I lived with, I'd have never understood how a teenager was supposed to live and act.

    I learned how to be a human, not from you mum, but from my peers and strangers.
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  • Emma_Emma_ 🥦🌻🌿 Vibing with plants and vegan food Community Manager Posts: 409 Listening Ear
    @Anch0r33 thank you for creating this space for others, and yourself <3

    It takes a lot to be so open and vulnerable and I hope sharing it takes a weight off of you.
    Anch0r33
  • Anch0r33Anch0r33 Obnoxiously Large Anchor Somewhere in the sea 🌊Community Champion Posts: 1,188 Wise Owl
    Thank you @Emma_

    As you can see, it took me a while to actually finish what I wanted to say. It's definitely not easy but I can really recommend opening right up like that to anyone looking here or considering it.

    It's almost like I can try and put those memories and grudges to rest now that they've been acknowledged by not just myself.

    I'm sure I'll have letters to others but in the meantime hopefully the community engages. @Lucy307 wrote a brilliant letter to someone who hurt her. Makes me proud to see people feeling able to open up <3
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    La_La
  • Anch0r33Anch0r33 Obnoxiously Large Anchor Somewhere in the sea 🌊Community Champion Posts: 1,188 Wise Owl
    To a previous teacher - you're one of two teachers that stick out like sore thumbs for being awful. I'm sure you were a brilliant teacher at your subject, shame I never really turned up to your classes. I spent most of your classes in the support base or not in school. The one time I remember coming to your class to get work you expected me, in front of the class, to explain why I wasn't coming to classes. See the thing is, you knew why. You were also my head of year. You pulled me out of class on *that* Wednesday and walked me to a meeting with the two social workers. You knew fine well why I wasn't going to class and you got mad at me for not coming. I was doing the work most of the time. I was passing anyways. I remember the last time I saw you was just before I went in for my exam - you pulled me aside and told me no matter what happens, you were all proud of me. That was a change of tune from you trying to get me banned from taking my exam. I got a B in that exam with an attendance of about 50%. You know, I'm studying that subject at uni now. You thought I'd get nowhere with it. Thanks for nothing.

    To the other teacher - I can't even write to you, because you died. Not just died, but you died in a stupid freak accident on the first week of the summer holidays. Your husband nearly died too. They managed to save him. I grieved your death. You meant a lot to me. I couldn't turn up to your memorial because I was too upset as I'd trusted you. Turns out my trust was misplaced when you told the social workers that I was "manipulative". I'm not sure what that was meant to mean. You also said that my mum was always well presented. You totally discredited me to the social workers and you're one of the reasons they fucked me over so badly. I wish you were alive for me to tell you what was really going on for me at that time. If there is an afterlife of some sort I really hope you're reading this now and realise what I was going through.
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    Past UserLorryTruckLa_La
  • Anch0r33Anch0r33 Obnoxiously Large Anchor Somewhere in the sea 🌊Community Champion Posts: 1,188 Wise Owl
    To a coach - I moved halfway across the world for you to treat me like total shit. I was quiet, and for good reason - the year before I met you I'd been taken into kinship care and gone through years of neglect and abuse. I remember we got on well to start with. The first bad memory with you wasn't even to do with me. You put a vulnerable 13 year old girl in an awkward position by announcing to her new teammates who she hardly knew that her mum had died of cancer when she was about 5. Wtf gave you the right to do that? Well 5 years later I still talk to her and I consider her a close friend, even if I can't see her. You played mind games with me, you effectively excluded me and bullied me. You put the blame on me. I thought it was my fault. I blamed myself. I thought everyone hated me. It turned out the others (about 50 of them) at the academy just avoided me to avoid your crap. You suspended me for no reason, blamed my low grade in the class you refused to get me help in and told my teammates that I wasn't turning up, that I hated them and was just waiting to go home. I didn't find that out from you either, I found it out over a year later from the same teammate that's mum died. She's the same girl that you kicked out for being a "bully" after false claims were made about her. Pretty rich coming from you, isn't it? Even though you turned most of them against me, I had a strong group of friends who stood by me. You told the other staff such horrible things about me that they wouldn't even take me to the medical specialist that I needed to see after you let me go untreated for almost 2 weeks. I was told I needed stitches but it was too late by the time I got there. You benched me for every single game of the season to the point other teams were asking me why I wasn't playing - do you know how humiliating that was? And then the next year, even after I left, you continued to make my life hell. Every time we played against you, you'd scream at me, you'd scream at the refs to have me suspended, you'd send your players out to hurt me. My old teammates ran me from behind after following your orders. You know what, I'd have believed I was the problem if you didn't latch onto a new girl the season after I'd left. If there wasn't a whole investigation against you, if you hadn't been suspended from coaching. It wasn't just me, was it? It was every person who was vulnerable. It was every person who was too scared to stand up for themselves. I'm not sure how you got away with some of the things you did - I've heard you did some pretty disgusting things to some of the boys team players too, but none of them will stand up to you. But you're vile. I'm thankful for the opportunity you gave me, but I made my own positives out of it - that was down to me and not you.
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    Past UserAislingDMLorryTruck
  • Past UserPast User Posts: 0 Literally just got here
    I really love this idea @Anch0r33 how are you doing after sharing those letters pal?

    I've never really thought about writing letters to folk and not sending them but I gave it a shot after seeing this post, I didn't post it but it helped me to get my thoughts written out.

    Thank you for making a space for us to share our letters :)
    Anch0r33
  • Anch0r33Anch0r33 Obnoxiously Large Anchor Somewhere in the sea 🌊Community Champion Posts: 1,188 Wise Owl
    Thanks @Liam it does feel like a huge weight has been lifted.

    I'm super glad you felt able to do that and hope it helps you! You absolutely don't need to post them, like I always say, as long as at least one person benefits from it then it's worth it!

    Glad you like the space, hopefully it can continue to help others <3
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  • AislingDMAislingDM Moderator Posts: 985 Part of The Mix Family
    I really do love this and I am so glad that everyone seems to be getting some catharsis from writing these out. Thank you @Anch0r33 and to everyone who has shared a letter. It's really reinforcing to me that we all deserve to be happy and treated kindly by those around us <3 I'm sure it has not been easy for everyone to share in this way so seriously be proud of yourselves.
    I'm a community moderator. I represent The Mix on the discussion boards and I'm here to help guide discussions, make sure everything is within guidelines, and take care of the housekeeping. I can't send or receive private messages, but you can message @TheMix or email [email protected] with any questions or concerns and the team will get back to you.

    Community Guidelines | How to use the boards | How to report a post | How to report spam
    Anch0r33lovemimoon
  • Anch0r33Anch0r33 Obnoxiously Large Anchor Somewhere in the sea 🌊Community Champion Posts: 1,188 Wise Owl
    I can honestly say to anyone who hasn't tried this out - either in your own space or on here - that it's really a freeing thing to do. I've been feeling mentally better than I have for as long as I can remember. I'm even looking forward to things I wasn't looking forward to. So glad I did this tbh and really do recommend it.

    Other ways it can be helpful -

    • write a letter and burn it
    • write a letter and lock it away
    • write a letter and send it to the person
    • turn your feelings into a poem or an art piece
    • write a letter and rip it up
    • write a letter to yourself
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  • tkdogtkdog Posts: 270 The Mix Regular
    Ama gonna write some random stuff

    To the people who say my art isn't good enough or don't like it.
    I will still keep trying even if you say otherwise someone will always find something wrong with it, im happy to learn from others who point out inprovements but not those who just outright dislike others. I know there are people who would do anything to be able to do things at all. I know im not always motivated but it isn't a waste of effort and to say that its better not to do something at all than to do something quickly is not true because you always do learn. Doing things is part of it.

    To the people who said I am stuck in the past (in terms of tech not like emotionally lol) I think there are practices from the past that are still meaningful without glorifying things that arent.
    But even then I respect your opinions but to use that to bring someone else down is not nice. Or to keep criticizing the things someone enjoys. It gets to the point I feel so distant from the world and actual things that tech brings more of a dystopia to me and that makes me unhappy.

    To the friends who left me, ghosted me or hurt me I feel bad from what happened but maybe at least I can learn from it. But I think ghosting someone is never a nice thing, to cut communication with someone is not nice or mature and reflects something not so nice. But to those who hurt me I suppose it is better that I do go because obviously it isn't working. I respect others space and choices but when it harms me then I don't think that it is working anymore. And to those who left me it is okay to move on but it still always does hurt if you were close to me still and it was sudden still i appreciate the time you spent with me.

    Anch0r33LorryTrucklovemimoon
  • lovenature773lovenature773 Posts: 57 Boards Initiate
    To my friend online
    I introduced you to my friend and You left me. I finally tell you what’s wrong with me and you say it will be better but it’s not, the fact you say I’ll be ok breaks me more. You can’t tell that I lie, or I cry. I can mute the mic and you’ll never know. I left you because of my parents and now a year later problems come down like a waterfall. I always have to remember if I die I won’t be online for him. I won’t be there for him, he’ll wonder where is she? Well she’s dead. She’s dead every fucking day. I don’t blame you I don’t know you in person but you can hear my voice and that’s all you need.
    I’m sorry.
    I fear not the dark
    But what may lurk within
    LorryTruckAnch0r33lovemimoonLa_La
  • lovenature773lovenature773 Posts: 57 Boards Initiate
    To the girl from school,
    You say I look weird with glasses on. You say my profile looks weird but guess what that’s the only day I felt pretty, you say you can’t read my handwriting but sorry I shake when I’m scared, I’m sorry for trying to be good I’m sorry for trying to improve my self esteem but I would rather sit alone than sit with you, toxic pig.
    I fear not the dark
    But what may lurk within
    LorryTruckAnch0r33AislingDMlovemimoon
  • lovenature773lovenature773 Posts: 57 Boards Initiate
    Whew thank you Anch0r33! This helped
    I fear not the dark
    But what may lurk within
    LorryTruckAnch0r33
  • LorryTruckLorryTruck Definition of a mental mess and a certified lost cause :) EnglandCommunity Champion Posts: 2,449 Boards Champion
    I agree with you @lovenature773 It helped me alot

    It's much easier to say "My tooth is aching" 
    than to say "My heart is broken"
    Anch0r33lovemimoon
  • lovenature773lovenature773 Posts: 57 Boards Initiate
    Yes it did I will do this in the future!
    I fear not the dark
    But what may lurk within
    LorryTruckAnch0r33
  • DancerDancer Bog Off Justine! Community Champion Posts: 6,467 Master Poster
    To those who don't accept me for who I am,

    You are a massive fart!
    I'm a fruit loop. 🍊➰

    There's a part of me I can't get back.  A little girl grew up too fast. All it took was once. I'll never be the same.
  • DancerDancer Bog Off Justine! Community Champion Posts: 6,467 Master Poster
    edited May 2021
    Sorry but I just had to say that. Today at performing arts group in the singing session, we were doing This Is Me and the singing teacher said that people who don't accept you for who you are just massive farts. It was because we were discussing what the song means.
    I'm a fruit loop. 🍊➰

    There's a part of me I can't get back.  A little girl grew up too fast. All it took was once. I'll never be the same.
    Anch0r33
  • LorryTruckLorryTruck Definition of a mental mess and a certified lost cause :) EnglandCommunity Champion Posts: 2,449 Boards Champion
    edited May 2021
    To someone close to me:

    I know I was aggressive, uncontrollable, and angry. I know I was violent. But you never ever thought about the reasons why. You were always in the way of me punching walls in my rage, but then I would hurt you too. And I'm really sorry for that, but I think there are a few things you should be sorry for.

    Your ways of dealing with me weren't right. They weren't OK. I still remember some of the things you said to me. I was dealing with trauma, and you just added to it. The things you threatened to do if I got angry still scare me today. Now I cut myself, so I can hide my anger, so I can hide my pain. Don't you dare touch me, that never ever taught me. It killed me inside, made me suicidal, made me feel so stupid and insecure. I don't let anyone near me because of you. Because I'm scared that they would hurt me too. I know they won't, but I'm still paranoid about it. I can't walk down the fucking street without getting triggered because I never had the fucking help when I was 10, when shit happened, and I was left to cope on my own. I used to think every fucking ambulance was taking away someone I loved. I want to cry myself to death because I'm sick of suffering. All I want in this world is to be OK, and I can't have it. But I swear on my life, don't you ever fucking touch me like that again, don't threaten me, scare me, when you dont know what I'm going through. I remember every fucking word you said. I want you to know that. I will stay on this earth just to prove you were wrong. I know what happened is past tense, I know it was because of me, but it still hurt. I know I deserved it. And I'm sorry.

    But welcome to the hell you created me.
    It's much easier to say "My tooth is aching" 
    than to say "My heart is broken"
    Anch0r33lovemimoon
  • LorryTruckLorryTruck Definition of a mental mess and a certified lost cause :) EnglandCommunity Champion Posts: 2,449 Boards Champion
    TW

    To my younger self:

    I wish I could tell you what you shouldn't have done. You fuck up so many times in the future, and I'm sorry you did that. You come across so many backstabbers, and horrible people, I wish I could've been there to show you how to deal with it. You see some terrible things which you never get over. You see death. I wish I could've covered your eyes when all of this was happening. You finally come across a friend who never backstabs and understands you, you become attached, but she leaves and you never see her again. You are horrible to people online, until you realise years later what you did. You become angry when you are 11, the uncontrollable angry. Then you start hurting yourself. You start messing up. You hurt other people by what you was doing. Your anger was hurting everyone you were close to. Then those people had to act. One person in particular threatens you, because everything else didnt work. The meds that were supposed to calm you down didn't work. Because it wasn't a normal kind of anger. You were scared to death. When you were 12, you were so confused, I want to tell you it would be fine. You dated someone who didn't understand you, so you tried to make her hate you. She started hitting you, it was only minor, but it made you lose her. Then you start restricting meals, because she starts to wind you up by sitting with your friends, and you didn't like eating in front of her. Fast forward a few months, you run away from home. You come back but the damage was done. That was one of the most stupid things you do. But you did it because you were scared. Nobody trusts you anymore. You start year 8 and you really hate yourself. The self-harming becomes worse. You start skipping complete meals. Your friends worry at first but then they get used to it. You start having counseling but it didn't work. Then you move school because you start deteriorating. Things start well, but then you get worse. You become suicidal. You punched a wall to hospital point, but nobody there cared that you punched a wall. You open up to family about being suicidal, but they don't do anything. Then lockdowns come. You are OK, your head improves. But then you go back to school in September and you start cutting yourself. Your head gets worse. Then December comes, and you're scared, you are suicidal again. You make a friend cry out of worry. So you go ask for help. Lockdown comes again in January. You start counselling in January. Your self-harming in getting worse. School find out and ring home. Then you have several conversations which make you want to die. But you live through it. They ring again because your self harming became an addiction. You constantly get accused of attention-seeking and it kills you inside. Because you just want to live, but you can't. Everything is too much for you. You keep messing up, I just want you to stop because it's killing me. I wish I could've stopped you doing all the stupid things you did. I wish I could have been there to tell you that you shoudnt do those things you did. And now you want to stop self-harming. You've started that journey. But you're really doubting that you can stop. So to me right now, to me tomorrow and the days to come: you have to stop making stupid mistakes which you will regret in the future. You have to stay strong, you have to stop doubting yourself. Then slowly, the darkness in your mind will leave.
    It's much easier to say "My tooth is aching" 
    than to say "My heart is broken"
    Anch0r33lovemimoon
  • Anch0r33Anch0r33 Obnoxiously Large Anchor Somewhere in the sea 🌊Community Champion Posts: 1,188 Wise Owl
    I'm so glad people are finding a use for this. I'm sorry I've been pretty absent and a bit shitty recently. Please keep using this, glad it's helping!
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    AislingDMLorryTrucklovemimoon
  • LorryTruckLorryTruck Definition of a mental mess and a certified lost cause :) EnglandCommunity Champion Posts: 2,449 Boards Champion
    How could you not see the pain I live with everyday?
    How?
    Why dont you understand?
    It's much easier to say "My tooth is aching" 
    than to say "My heart is broken"
    Anch0r33lovemimoon
  • lovemimoonlovemimoon 🦋 Community Champion Posts: 2,311 Boards Champion
    edited July 2021
    To my ‘girlfriends’ from back then,
    Trigger warning: mentions of biphobia, bullying, sexual harassment

    Hi ‘girlfriends!’
    Long time, no see, and thank fuck for that.
    Back then I was (still am) a ticking time bomb and that made a lot of people uncomfortable. See, I knew that and holy shit, was I struggling with so much shit back then, yet still, I opened my heart for you. Whilst I was getting bullied by the older years, you guys paid less attention to my sexuality and more to what I had to offer and honestly, to this day, thank you so much, for that experience. However, that doesn’t change the fact that you still made fun of me. See, I understand that we tend to vent off and make a couple of jokes there and then. It would have stung, sure but I could brush it off. But what you girlies specifically said?

    Oh. Boy.

    Sentiments:
    See I’m beyond angry but we gotta address the good and the bad in this situation. I understand the upbringing you had so your views were understandable. Hurtful but understandable. However, I thought that by being friends, it would at least make you realize that ‘hey, she’s bi but she’s also my friend and we’re not that different.’ As per usual, my standards were set too high for you. Despite the difficulties I had, my flaws and my struggles, I still wanted to be part of the whole ‘girl squad’ clique that I witnessed everyday. Sounds corny now that I type it out. :joy: I was so happy when we hung out and had fun, chilled at the corner shop, the parks, etc. In those moments, I wasn’t some emotional freak that was going to explode and tear the walls apart. I forgot that my life was falling apart left, right and centre. I was a normal teenage girl, doing normal teenage things. But here we are, cleaning up the emotional mess once again. It still hurts to think about to this day. People made so many comments about me possibly having a crush on my girl friends and it was so uncomfortable because I could see the discomfort in my friends’ eyes. I had to walk on eggshells around you guys too cos I could see that you were getting the wrong impression about my intentions. Can you believe that?

    Oh! Oh! Oh! You know what’s even worse? Thinking it was funny to ask me sexually provocative questions about my sexuality and persisting with the conversation even though I was clearly uncomfortable with the conversation. If I said no to your advances, then suddenly I wasn’t ‘gay enough.’ Like I had to prove my sexuality to you. You know how upsetting that was? To have my sexuality, something that was so important to me, being belittled and degraded into a ‘joke’ that you make with your close friends?
    Speaking of ‘jokes,’ let’s talk about inappropriate touching. I don’t know what transpired between you and your friends or if your brain cells suddenly collapsed but the last time I checked, I don't think making sexual physical contact without consent was funny. As a matter of fact, I think it’s illegal. When your friends laughed at me when I retracted or tried to move away. When you said ‘ew’ every time I tried to politely push you away from me. You have no idea how disgusted you made me feel about myself. How ashamed I was for feeling the way I felt about women. At some point, I hated myself for it, and for the longest, I’ve been repressing my sexuality. I’ve met potential love interests but I was so afraid of making the first move that I would instantly panic and eventually avoid them. A part of me still feels disgusted towards myself and represses the romantic and sexual feelings I get towards women.

    Addressing the comments and questions:
    Looking back at this now, I was way too nice to you guys. There are various points I should have told you guys to fuck off but you know what? That’s okay! I’m thankful for this experience cos, now I won’t feel guilty for cutting a couple of people out in the future. :3 When I looked online, it was so good to see that I wasn’t alone. That my bi siblings also went through a similar experience or worse. That these comments you made are so common, yet so stupid. So, yada yada years later, here are my responses to them:

    “Do you prefer men or women?”
    “But who do you really prefer? Who do you think you’ll end up with?”
    That’s a pretty fucking stupid question to ask me, considering that bisexuality doesn’t work like that. I have both romantic and sexual attractions to all genders - just because I have a partner who happens to a certain gender, doesn’t mean I’m going ‘straight’ or ‘lesbian.’ Like everything else in this universe, nothing is definite.

    "Now that you’re bi, you’re not gonna hit on me or anything, are you? I mean, do you think I’m hot?"
    Ha.
    HA.
    The amount of times you’ve asked me this and then had the audacity to get offended when I rejected you and your ‘advances’. The looks on your faces makes me laugh to this day.

    "You haven't dated a girl. You can't say you're bi.”
    ”When was the last time you slept with a man or a woman?”
    ”How do you know you’re bisexual if you haven’t had sex with a girl?”
    ”Have you slept with both a man and a woman? How could you know you're bi if you haven't?”
    I could say the same thing about you guys who haven’t dated a guy or haven’t had sex. The same girls that blatantly complain about guys and their disrespectful behaviour towards girls, and how you’re so done with men, yada, yada, yada…

    But I did bring it up and you stumbled with these excuses. Some of you got defensive at the supposed assumption that you might have been a lesbian, like you were accused of murder. Regardless, you now understand how stupid this statement is? You cannot define your sexuality through personal experiences with men. There have been multiple accounts of people having experience with the opposite sec and still later identifying as gay, lesbian, asexual, etc. People may not even be interested in having intimate partners to begin with!

    ”What girl do you have a crush on?”
    This girl is called ‘Mind your business.’

    “Bisexuality is just a phase.”
    Let’s look at this at a wider spectrum and let’s be honest.
    Sexuality is one big question mark and I’m not just referring to the curious kind. Everyday, we question our feelings and attractions:
    “I’m romantically attracted to this gender but I don’t want to have sex with them. What does this mean?”
    “I love my partner but I’m not really into sex. What does this mean?”
    “I identify as this but sometimes I feel like this about this gender. What does that mean?”
    These are questions that we can’t simply put a label on and call it a day, because it’s not that simple. It’s a spectrum.

    ”I could never be in a relationship with a bisexual.”
    The feeling is mutual.

    Look. At the end of the day, you’re not bad people, your views on homosexuality are just fucked. It limits your possibility of meeting amazing, powerful and loving people. I hope that someday, you’ll look beyond the labels and see the humanity in us too. <3

    Until then,

    Fuck you,
    Your local bi queen🏳️‍🌈
    ApolloLorryTruckAnch0r33La_La
  • Anch0r33Anch0r33 Obnoxiously Large Anchor Somewhere in the sea 🌊Community Champion Posts: 1,188 Wise Owl
    @lovemimoon I've just seen your last comment and my goodness it was damn impressive. I'm so glad you've felt able to open up in such a powerful way.

    You absolutely go girl, I'm damn proud of you <3
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    lovemimoon
  • Kate_20Kate_20 Posts: 624 Incredible Poster
    To the teacher who hurt me:
    Dear XX
    I am right now registered with student disability service and was diagnosed with anxiety and depression by the crisis team psychiatrist. I have wanted to take my life for several times that I cannot count since January and was supported by the crisis team for two times and they could no longer support me. You must be very happy to hear the news. If I die, you will feel even better.
    In my undergraduate university, as a naive girl who always trusted her teachers, I needed help from you. I don’t know if you meant to make life worse for me or not, but it doesn’t matter now. You do not even care if you make life worse for me. That is you. You could always put on a fake smile but you cannot hide your cold stare; you could lie blatantly to me about what you have said before; you could lie to me that you care but you couldn't be bothered to look at the university rules for me; you could lie to me about the content of the module handbook; you could lie to me that you love my hobbies and what I created and took them as a gift without my permission; you could lie to me that you like me and make me feel like I am disgusting; you could ask me to care more about those people who do not work yet you treat them very unkindly; you could call me dramatic; you could call me a baby; you could tell me that I would lose my family, my friends and my future; you could tell me that I am disrespectful and might go disciplinary; you could ask me to go to the disabilities when I was disappointed by your betrayal and was trying to hold back my tears when I was in your office so you don’t have to be responsible for the fact that you hurt me; you could ask me to go to the disabilities when I felt the fear towards you when you acted aggressively towards me.
    Now I am disabled by my emotions, are you happy now? It doesn’t matter as I know you will deny all these things: they prevent you from feeling good about yourself. I feel sorry for you because your childhood cannot be good because you are a narcissist. I feel sorry for your colleagues as some of them quit their jobs because of you. I feel sorry for your students because a lot of them ended up with nightmares or will end up with nightmares. I never want them to end up like me.
    For a long time, I was confused about if this is culture difference or something else. In order not to form a negative stereotype of people from your country, I forced myself to like a singer from your country and talk to people from your country online. I felt worse after forcing myself to love your culture. You never know that I couldn’t get out of bed the next day after seeing you, feeling like I fell into a black hole and I did not deserve to eat. I would play the scene in my head again and again, wondering how I could react better. I had nightmares about you, about you seeing me wearing a T-shirt in a jacket and on the T-shirt there was the new uni admission letter, I tried to hide the uni name from you but somehow you could see it; about you writing a letter to my new uni telling them that I am a terrible student and should be kicked out; about meeting you; about having to learn your language and have to be taught by you; about you controlling the university, etc. I had daydreams about you, about me saying that you would not care if I die; nobody would care if I die.
    Right now, I do feel like I am daydreaming, that the crisis team experiences were not real, that I want to die because I lost my energy, my concentration, my creativity, my inspiration, and myself. Part of me have died straightly after seeing you, and another part died gradually after seeing you. Now only my body exists, and it is also becoming problematic as I can no longer take good care of myself. You will never receive this letter as I do not want a revenge from you. I hope you are doing well, and I will never come across you again in my life.
    Your previous student
    Kate with her broken heart
    Tengo el alma en cuarentena y roto el cuerpo
    Qué dolor, qué pena y qué tormento
    El Kanka - Lo mal que estoy y lo poco que me quejo
    lovemimoonLa_La
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