Post of the Month - July!

Azziman

Hey everyone!

7 months completed this year - time has flown by! Again, huge love to everyone here supporting one another during these times. Thanks all for being such an awesome community, helping one another out during tough times is one of the best things about The Mix! Now, time to vote for your favourite Post of the Month!


What is Post of the Month?

For those of you who aren't familiar with Post of the Month, each month you can nominate threads and replies you've seen on the boards. We then put up a poll and the reply with the most votes wins Post of the Month.

You can nominate a post by flagging it, selecting Report, and then choosing 'Post of the Month nomination' as the reason. It can really make someone's day to know that their comment was so appreciated that they're considered for this, so if you see a post that was particularly helpful, inspiring, moving etc., be sure to nominate it and spread that love around!


Before we share the nominations for this vote, we again want to acknowledge how brave each and every one of you is for reaching out for support. This takes so much courage and we're so proud of you all - this place wouldn't be the same with you


The Nominees!

Congrats to @Past User, @Millie2787, @Eleanor and @Liam, and @Azziman for winning nominations for this month - great work everyone!



1. Knownasloner - If you aren't being believed

If you’re here you must be feeling like you’re being belittled, ignored, accused of lying/attention-seeking or not taken seriously. Whether that’s by a family member, friend, authority figures, mental health services or anyone else, no one deserves to be cast aside. But I’m here to (hopefully) give you the confidence to not stress about the haters.

Whether you’ve been diagnosed or not, no matter what you’re mental illness may be you deserve support. Unfortunately, there will always be those who don’t support you. But it doesn’t matter if the people around you don’t believe you. After all YOU know the truth, YOU know you’re struggles are significant and valid. Repeat that to yourself. Remember that just because someone says your lying it doesn’t make them right. They’re not you, they‘ll never truly understand the storm you’re facing. 

But there will be people out there who will listen, accept and try to help you. They won’t claim they understand but they’ll help. Until then, keep fighting because there will always be one person who will stand by your side.

You. 

2. Millie2787 - Reassuring a friend

Shaunie we will never find it annoying . Everyone here knows that road to getter to a better place is never simple and is never a straight line . There’s always going to be bumps , twists and turns and detours and that’s okay because that’s all part of getting better.

I know it’s must feel disheartening when you feel like this and I know how it feels but know that you are strong and you are amazing.

All of us here will be here to support you regardless of how many times it is. 

You are doing so well and I know you don’t see it but I’m and I’m sure everyone else here is proud of you

Stay strong and lots of Aimee and Louie love x

3. Eleanor and Liam - Positivity

Hey Everyone! 

Your favourite General Chat duo are here to give you our top tips on positivity! @Liam and I have been working together to create this reallyyyy long post  guide on how we try to stay positive. You do not need to read the whole of this post but I hope you can search through the titles to find what you may need 

Practising Gratitude - Liam 
Gratitude is a way to show your appreciation and thankfulness for the things you have in your life. Through practising this, you will be able to notice the things you may possibly take for granted or give little thought to. In doing so you will be opening your eyes to the positive things you observe throughout the day and hopefully the good will shine through the negative which is clouding your day! Check out Liam's top tip of practising gratitude: 

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Every morning when I wake up the first thing i do is list at least 3 things that i am grateful for. This is something that I have always done, my parents taught me to do it when I was much younger. I've found that it's a really good way to start off the day with a positive mind set. I write down the things that I am grateful for in my notepad but you could always just say them in your mind. It could really be anything at all,  from something small like "I'm grateful to have a roof over my head" to something large like "I'm happy to be alive today". I know that when life is particularly testing and difficult, it may feel impossible to find things to be grateful for. When my life is throwing obstacles at me, I make sure to list the small things "I'm grateful for this food", "I'm grateful for this drink", "I'm grateful for all of the love my dog gives to me". When you do it every day, eventually you'll just naturally just find that shimmer of light in even the most negative of situations. 

Being Mindful - Eleanor 
Mindfulness is a way of connecting your body with the world in a controlled way, it allows you to be present in your mind without the hustle and bustle of life getting in the way. Here are my favourite ways to be mindful: 

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I try to practice mindfullness everyone morning when I wake up by filling out my mindfullness journal. This involves writing out what my senses where signalling to by mind when I woke up, what did I hear? What could I see? Was I hot or cold? I also try to do meditation when I can. Meditation really relaxes me and gives me a break from 'real life'. Learning to connect with myself was one of the best things I have learnt, when life gets a bit too much I have a safe space to retreat to which no one else can enter - the mind! 

Expressing Gratitude and Spreading Love - Liam 
Now that you know how to practise gratitude, Liam brings you his top tips on how to express this as well as the benefits of spreading love towards others: 

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What helps me to stay positive is to express my gratitude and to spread love where ever possible. When I am grateful for a particular person, I make sure to tell them. I do this in different ways, it can simply be by telling them "I'm grateful to have you in my life" but there are plenty of other ways to show gratitude for example: Cooking them food, invite them out, send them a wee message to just check in with how they're feeling, give them a bell for a wee chat, buy them a random gift or just help them out with some chores.

Expressing gratitude not only makes you feel good but it also makes the person that you're grateful for feel good too and I really cannot think of a feeling much better than that. 

Changing Your Perspectives - Eleanor 
Perspectives, in my opinion, can really make or break a positive mindset. So here is how I like to keep my perspectives positive:

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When I am looking at something which might otherwise disappoint me or make me feel down, I always try to look at it from another perspective. For example, if I am disappointed with my results that I got on an assignment, rather than thinking "Oh I've done really badly" I will try and look at it from another perspective "Okay, I tried my hardest and have done the best I could. I am happy now that I have to opportunity to work on this and know how to improve". I also think it is important to do this when you're having troubles with another person. When arguing with a friend or family member (a quick way to ruin your day) try to see if you can understand their point of view on the situation as well as yours, can you empathise with them? 

Smile and Laugh - Liam
Did you know that smiling takes less muscles than it does to frown? Smiling is a simple way of showing that you are positive and to also give a little bit of positivity to others! Here are the benefits of smiling and laughing in Liam's life: 

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Smile so much that your cheeks are aching by the end of the day. I love smiling. It has been scientifically proven that smiles are contagious, how awesome is that?! Not only can a smile make you feel better but you can lift other peoples moods just by smiling at them and making them smile too. I like to live by the quote "If you see someone without a smile, give them one of yours".  Even faking a smile has been proven to boost peoples moods. So I try to wear a smile on my face wherever possible. Laughter is also super important and super contagious. Sometimes,  life gets so busy that we just forget to have a fun time, laughing can remind us not to take life so seriously and just helps to lighten up the mood. It has been proven that 15 minutes of belly laughter is equivalent to 10 minutes of jogging. Laughing is much more fun, so whack on a comedy or a funny video and just laugh, it'll definitely boost your mood.   

Helping Someone Else Out - Eleanor 
Here are my top tips on how you can spread positivity as well as create it!

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• Speak to a friend who you haven't checked in with recently

• Smile to a stranger you walk past

• Hold a door open for someone 

• Let someone know that you appreciate them 

• Say 'I love you' to your close family 

• Be the positive energy that you want to see in others

Cutting Out Negativity - Liam 
Do you have that one thing that is stopping you from having a positive mindset which you can't seem to shake, well here is Liam's top tips on cutting out negativity:

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Have you ever been around someone who just sucks all of your energy out of you? It's difficult to become a more positive person when you're around people who are negative. Cutting out or taking a break from contacting those negative people in your life is a good first step to becoming a more positive person. I consider myself a friend to everyone and anyone however my social circle is small. I only add people that i am truly friends with on my social medias and i only follow pages that make me feel good. I often find myself taking a step back from social media and the news in general because the negativity just brings me down without me even realising it at times. I'm not saying be naive and ignorant but try and take a break when things are feeling too much. We are constantly exposed to negative news, it's on the internet, on the radio, on our social medias.. it's everywhere so sometimes i try to actively search for positive news stories to balance out the good and the bad. 

Finding Good in Everything - Eleanor 
Here is how I try to find good in everything:

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When I am having a challenging day, I try to find all the good things I can. For example, if you have had an argument with someone you are close with, try to remember something good they have done for you, this will help you to recognise that they have good in them and may help you to be more positive when interacting with them or may push you to finally talk to them again. When all hope seems to be gone and everything seems to be negative just find one good thing about your day and focus on that! 

Changing Negative thoughts - Liam 
Negativity can put a dark cloud over you day, trying to seek out positive thoughts in spite of this can help to boost your mood and improve your day! Here's how Liam cuts out negativity: 

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Try to change your pessimistic thoughts for optimistic ones. You can get help with this one, you can ask your friends or family to point out when you're being negative and then you can work on changing your thoughts. When you notice that you're being quite pessimistic immediately shift your thoughts to more optimistic ones. For example if you're struggling with something and you find yourself saying "ughhh ill never understand this" try changing it to "I don't understand this yet but i'm going to keep trying"

For When You Need a Pick-Me-Up Now - Guest star @Aidan 
You won't be disappointed..... 

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Que sera, sera - Liam

Whatever will be, will be: 

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When things get tough it can feel difficult or even impossible to keep a positive mindset. No body expects you to be "positive" all of the time. When things are difficult, try to find silver linings. You do not have to ignore the negative feelings, they're there for a reason and most of the time they demand to be felt. Accept what is happening and surrender to your feelings, you don't have to fight the negatives... just accept them for what they are. You can't always control the outcomes of situations so don't waste energy by trying. Sit with your feelings, maybe have a wee cry and then try to ease them away by thinking of the silver lining, "try to find the tiniest bit of light in darkness" and see where it takes you.

Remember it's okay to not feel or be positive all of the time, we're all human! @Liam and I have put blood, sweat and tears  wracked our brains to squeeze out all of the ways we try maintain our positive mindsets but we know that everyone has their own methods! If you have any other ways of keeping positive then we would love you to share them below

Liam & Eleanor

4. Azziman - Managing your money

Heya 

So this sounds like a classic case - "Person X isn't aware of their finances, and has to end up in debt to continue an unsustainable way of living. Their solution? Either business as usual until they land in trouble, 'borrow' from a friend when they can't pay back, or simply hope for some extra money to come in. Or, they realise that they need to make a concerted effort in their lives to resolve their financial situation and go back into the black."

It's really admirable that you've decided to step in and help. Truth is, in a situation like this, your parents need to be the ones to take this seriously, not you doing it for them. Because as long as you're doing it for them, they'll go along for it, but as soon as you stop, people usually often go back into their old habits. You've made a great effort, but it doesn't really sound like they've had to change much in their lives, when it's their financial situation and routines that need sorting out! 

As much as you want to see them doing well, financial independence and awareness is very important in all of this. It's all good and well that you are aware, but they have to actively break old habits and make new ones for this to work. It's not just a tick-box exercise of 'spending less', but a change/shift of mindset on how they live and manage their money - otherwise, it's just a short-term change that will probably slip back into old habits soon. 

Personally, I'd give them advice and then let them do it. They need to be responsible for their own finances - having you do it all for them might help fix things for now, but doesn't resolve the underlying issue that they need to learn to be responsible with money and adjust accordingly.

Sorry if this sounds quite critical, but I've seen this approach taken several times before and it really doesn't work out how you want it. The onus has to be on your parents for this to work and stick x

TL;DR - they need to cut their expenses and learn to manage their finances independently. You can advise them, but they have to take the initiative and make the changes for this to work in the long-term - otherwise, you're fixing this in the short term without addressing the long-term issue of their approach to finances 

Much love

Get voting!

~ Azziman

Past User

Awww 😄 thank you for the nom !! ❤️ and thank you @Eleanor for letting me help you make such a nice post 😃 

Former Member

Was my pleasure @Liam! Thanks for being such a great post partner! 

Former Member

I only just saw this. Thank you so much for the nomination, its really unexpected! I appreciate it so much 🖤

Azziman

Apologies for the delay! Congrats to @Eleanor, you've won this contest by some distance!

Former Member

And @Liam!  

Such great nominations as always, everyone is so lovely on this community And thank you @Liam for making the post with me pal 

Azziman

Ah yep, sorry! @Liam, congrats on your win as well

JustV

Congratulations both of you! Well deserved. @Eleanor you already have the POTM bade and @Liam you've just been awarded one. Thanks for organising this once again @Azziman!