Saying no to an overbearing parent

Former Member

Hello all

My mother wants me to travel home because of the corona situation but I do not want to. I like my space and my independence here at uni. I have a job, I have my own space and I prefer being out of London.

I don't want to upset nor disrespect my mother from being disobedient, I just don't think home is the right place for me right now. I want to voice this to her the problem is that I've never outwardly said "No" to her.  I need to plan this in a way that will make me bullet proof to her tactics lol. 

I know she'll be angry, it's enevitable but I want a life free from scrutiny and my mothers controling tendencies.

Salix

Azziman

You could mention that travelling right now is risky and not allowed because of the situation. Police are stopping cars on the road to check where they're going etc, so you have a valid reason not to go at the moment without lying.

Former Member

Sorry your going through that right now, she probably feels the need to protect you but hasn’t considered that moving could do more harm than good right now. 

You could tell her travelling is not recommended, and if you are still going to work that they need you there and you don’t want to stop working. 

You could say that it’s not up to you, you are following government advice , and if she has an issue with that tell her to write to the government. She shouldn’t blame you because you as you didn’t make the rules, you are only following them. Although she might try to blame you somehow, just keep circling back to it being a government decision not yours. 

It puts an awful lot of pressure on someone when their parents are overbearing and judgemental, it’s okay not to pick up the phone every time, it’s okay to say you are busy talking to a friend or working on something. 

You are allowed your space, you are an amazing, unique individual and you are always allowed to make your own choices, no matter what parents say. 

Former Member

Hey @Salix_alba_2019

Just want to echo what has been said

Hope you are doing okay. Sending hugs

Former Member

Thank you all for your input

I spoke to mum today and it went better than expected. I did feel a bit bad though and I could hear that she was a bit sad. I just need to remind myself why I made the decision to stay, I'll be back home soon.

salix

Former Member

@Salix_alba_2019 Im really glad it went well