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Not ok

GreenTeaGreenTea ☕🌻☕MidlandsPosts: 5,454 Part of The Furniture
I am not ok and I don't know why.
I just feel so disgusting with myself and the overwhelming feeling of worthlessness and being a nobody. Gah

The scars you can't see are the hardest to heal.     

Astrid Alauda

ClaraOswald
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Comments

  • Spook98Spook98 UKPosts: 262 The Mix Regular
    I have those feelings often too, they're really horrible and I'm sorry you're feeling like that. Have you been feeling like this all day?
  • GreenTeaGreenTea ☕🌻☕ MidlandsPosts: 5,454 Part of The Furniture
    Been feeling like it for a few days, I'm a month and a half off medication for depression and I just feel like I'm sinking again. 

    The scars you can't see are the hardest to heal.     

    Astrid Alauda

  • Spook98Spook98 UKPosts: 262 The Mix Regular
    probably worth speaking to the doctor about it. You went out last night too didnt you? I know with me alcohol often really gets me depressed, sometimes even for days after drinking.
  • GreenTeaGreenTea ☕🌻☕ MidlandsPosts: 5,454 Part of The Furniture
    I hate going to the doctor. I feel like I'm just wasting time for them and people who have more serious issues need that appointment. Same with hospital. I want to go back to physio and see my trauma consultant because I'm having issues with my injury that happened months ago, but I keep going to make an appointment then panic that someone will need it more. 
    I did go out last night. It was really good until I projectile vomited and like passed out. Normally I'm ok with alcohol but I wasn't ok before I went out and I think that's why I drunk do much in a short time..

    The scars you can't see are the hardest to heal.     

    Astrid Alauda

  • Spook98Spook98 UKPosts: 262 The Mix Regular
    I could tell you a story about one of my drunken nights that would make you feel much better XD all I say is it's important to eat lots before you drink and to go slow if you're not feeling great. Speaking from experience alcohol tend to accentuate whatever mood I'm in, so if I start drinking when I'm depressed things get really really bad. 

    As for the doctor and hospital, your problems are as important as anybody else's. Pretty much everybody gets put onto a waiting list anyway and the last thing you want is for it to become a worse and worse issue. Tackle the problem as soon as you can and with luck you'll figure it out quickly and be able to focus on other things. :)
    mags98
  • GreenTeaGreenTea ☕🌻☕ MidlandsPosts: 5,454 Part of The Furniture
    Honestly I want to book appointments but it's like my anxiety isnt going to let me because others need them more.. I can't do it

    The scars you can't see are the hardest to heal.     

    Astrid Alauda

  • Spook98Spook98 UKPosts: 262 The Mix Regular
    The fact you want to book appointments but feel that you are unable, are posting on here for help because you're low and havent been on antidepressants that you might need for months, suggests to me that you need the appointment more than others. Mental health is often more important than physical health, and plenty of people will just be booking appointments because they have a cold or something... dont be so quick to dismiss your own problems, you deserve help as much as anyone else.
  • GreenTeaGreenTea ☕🌻☕ MidlandsPosts: 5,454 Part of The Furniture
    I  had been on anti depressants for 2 years before coming off them. I don't really want to go back on them.  I can't book an appointment. It's not fair on someone who needs it more...what if there's a sick child or elderly person who needs it more?

    The scars you can't see are the hardest to heal.     

    Astrid Alauda

  • Spook98Spook98 UKPosts: 262 The Mix Regular
    it's not like that, doctors have lots of appointments every day, and people are able to book emergency appointments too if they really need to. If you book an appointment and go on the waiting list then you can get help when they're able to provide it. You won't be stealing support from anybody else.
  • GreenTeaGreenTea ☕🌻☕ MidlandsPosts: 5,454 Part of The Furniture
    Well happy birthday me I guess. Time to sleep the day away and ignore everything

    The scars you can't see are the hardest to heal.     

    Astrid Alauda

    Spook98
  • Spook98Spook98 UKPosts: 262 The Mix Regular
    Yeah, happy birthday! hope you wake up feeling better and have the day you deserve :)
  • GreenTeaGreenTea ☕🌻☕ MidlandsPosts: 5,454 Part of The Furniture
    I'm just...gonna sleep it away. Made it to another age. Another year closer to death

    The scars you can't see are the hardest to heal.     

    Astrid Alauda

    Spook98
  • Spook98Spook98 UKPosts: 262 The Mix Regular
    hey how ya doin this morning?
  • StephanieStephanie Posts: 687 Super Moderator
    Hey @GreenTea

    How are you feeling today? We are here for you if you want to talk more :heart:
                                   "Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times if only one remembers to turn on the light" 

    - Albus Dumbledore 

    "Like when I was down you just had that smile that made me feel like everything's worthwhile. Thinking of the day when you went away, what a life to take, what a bond to break, I'll be missing you"

  • GreenTeaGreenTea ☕🌻☕ MidlandsPosts: 5,454 Part of The Furniture
    I hate myself.

    The scars you can't see are the hardest to heal.     

    Astrid Alauda

  • Butterfly23Butterfly23 Miniposter England Posts: 817 Trailblazer
    Hello

    Would you like to talk about why you feel you hate yourself?  <3 

    Has anything happened today to trigger these thoughts?

    Butterfly x
  • GreenTeaGreenTea ☕🌻☕ MidlandsPosts: 5,454 Part of The Furniture
    Im fat and disgusting and my body is covered in scars.
    I'm worthless, useless, pointless, a nothing..

    The scars you can't see are the hardest to heal.     

    Astrid Alauda

    Butterfly23
  • Butterfly23Butterfly23 Miniposter England Posts: 817 Trailblazer
    They are some really strong thoughts to have, so can understand they may be upsetting for you 💗 I’m sure you aren’t any of this things and sometimes it’s just about trying to accept who we are and be kinder to ourselves (easier said than done!) 

    Sending big hugs 💗
  • GreenTeaGreenTea ☕🌻☕ MidlandsPosts: 5,454 Part of The Furniture
    I hate myself so much.

    The scars you can't see are the hardest to heal.     

    Astrid Alauda

    Mia_mooMillie2787
  • Lucy307Lucy307 UKPosts: 765 Part of The Mix Family
    Hey @GreenTea

    Really sorry to hear you are feeling like this, sending hugs <3

    I totally understand the feeling of not wanting to waste doctors time - I feel like that every time I go to book an appointment. But honestly you are just as important as everybody else, your feelings are valid and you are worth their time. Also if somebody (elderly etc) needed an emergency appointment they would be able to get one. Do you feel that you might be able to make one in advance?

    Please keep talking here, too. How is life/studies/work going?

    - Lucy
    Treat yourself as you would treat a good friend
  • GreenTeaGreenTea ☕🌻☕ MidlandsPosts: 5,454 Part of The Furniture
    Leaving the boards till it feels safe on the boards again.


    I'm safe but the boards don't feel safe.
    Bye

    The scars you can't see are the hardest to heal.     

    Astrid Alauda

    Millie2787Mia_mooKathleen07Butterfly23
  • GreenTeaGreenTea ☕🌻☕ MidlandsPosts: 5,454 Part of The Furniture
    Shouldn't let feeling unsafe here stop me being here. It's just stressful.

    The scars you can't see are the hardest to heal.     

    Astrid Alauda

    Butterfly23
  • Mia_mooMia_moo Posts: 146 Boards Initiate
    @GreenTea we understand  <3
  • Butterfly23Butterfly23 Miniposter England Posts: 817 Trailblazer
    We understand, but we are also here when you are comfortable to share with us and will try our best to support you  <3
  • ShaunieShaunie England 🏠Posts: 9,278 Supreme Poster
    Hey just came to send hugs & that we'd be listening if wanna speak more !<3
    if you have the strength to sustain anorexia you have the strength to overcome it
  • StephanieStephanie Posts: 687 Super Moderator
    Hey GreenTea, 

    Sending you some hugs, sorry to hear you don't feel safe on the boards, if you need to talk more about this I'm sure if you PM the The Mix account they would be more than happy to talk things through with you, we care about you. :heart:

    How are you doing? 
                                   "Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times if only one remembers to turn on the light" 

    - Albus Dumbledore 

    "Like when I was down you just had that smile that made me feel like everything's worthwhile. Thinking of the day when you went away, what a life to take, what a bond to break, I'll be missing you"

  • GreenTeaGreenTea ☕🌻☕ MidlandsPosts: 5,454 Part of The Furniture
    I. Don't matter

    The scars you can't see are the hardest to heal.     

    Astrid Alauda

  • GreenTeaGreenTea ☕🌻☕ MidlandsPosts: 5,454 Part of The Furniture
    I need to take a break from here. I can't handle feeling unsafe on the boards but I want to be here.
    This is making me so stressed and anxious and not ok

    The scars you can't see are the hardest to heal.     

    Astrid Alauda

  • GreenTeaGreenTea ☕🌻☕ MidlandsPosts: 5,454 Part of The Furniture
    Maybe im just being difficult and sensitive since I've been doxxed a couple months ago

    The scars you can't see are the hardest to heal.     

    Astrid Alauda

  • dogmad20dogmad20 Posts: 152
    Hugs to you green tea sorry you feel this way I have also been stressed by the boards but @The Mix have been helping me. 
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