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TW

Former MemberFormer Member Deactivated Posts: 496 Listening Ear
in Health & Wellbeing
Being at my mums makes me feel a lot worser. I cry every time I have to leave her because I know how heartbroken she is that her daughter wants to end her own life. So shall I not come and visit her anymore?

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    Hey Sham <3

    I'm really sorry to read this. I think how you're feeling about seeing your mum is understandable x

    Up to you as to whether you stop visiting her. I think that she'd probably miss you a lot if you chose to. On the other hand, you do whatever makes you feel better. How would you feel about telling her this? - sometimes an honest communication can always help (though idk if it would for you).

    Sending love and strength <3
  • Former MemberFormer Member Deactivated Posts: 496 Listening Ear
    I might tell her this at some point.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,171 Wise Owl
    Hey @Sham,

    It sounds to me like it might do you more harm than good to stop visiting your mum. I used to get emotional at having to leave mine because I love her so much and wanted to spend more time with her. Do you enjoy the time you spend with yours? I really think it would help to open up and speak to her about it as @kathleen0172 has said above, if you feel you can. <3

    Are you getting any support elsewhere? If you want to talk through things here, we're always here to listen :smile:  

    - Lucy
  • Former MemberFormer Member Deactivated Posts: 496 Listening Ear
    I enjoy most off the time I spend with my mum but I couldnt live with her that's why I moved out when I was 17.

    I havent been getting much support at all since I come out off hospital. My cpn was meant to come and see me on Friday but she didnt turn up.
  • MaisyMaisy Deactivated Posts: 701 Part of The Mix Family
    It's good that you enjoy most of the time you spend with your mum but I'm sorry to hear that you couldn't live with her and had to move out. It's understandable that if you have been struggling with your mental health you would be concerned about upsetting others. But it sounds like your mum cares about you, so it's worth continuing to visit her and telling her how you feel. If you feel worse afterwards, is there something that you can do like self-care? 

    I'm also saddened to hear that you haven't been getting much support since leaving hospital. Regarding the CPN, is it possible to chase her up and find out why she didn't come and when she will see you next? It must be hard for you when you have to chase up professionals but you deserve a lot of support! <3 
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  • Former MemberFormer Member Deactivated Posts: 496 Listening Ear
    I don't know if there is anything I can do afterwards.

    I spoke to my cpn on Monday and she is coming to see me on Tuesday but I am feeling paticulary bad tonight so I have visited the crisis cafe and they are going to ask my cpn to call me in the morning.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Moderator Posts: 991 Part of The Mix Family
    Hey there @Sham just wanted to check in quick and see how you're doing at the moment.

    It's great to see lots of other people replying to you on this thread and I'll echo what they've all been saying that you definitely deserve lots of support! Did you manage to speak with your CPN this morning like you'd planned?

    Be sure to keep us all up to date with how you're doing as we're always happy to help. :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Deactivated Posts: 496 Listening Ear
    Yeah I spoke to my CPN she said she is going to come and see me on Tuesday that's if she turns up because she was meant to come and see me last Friday and she didnt turn up. 
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,171 Wise Owl
    Hey @Sham, hope you are ok. Did you see your CPN today in the end, if so how did it go? 
  • Former MemberFormer Member Deactivated Posts: 496 Listening Ear
    No, I didnt see her I'm so angry. My cpn was meant to come and see me at 3pm yesterday she called me at 3:10pm to say she's not coming because I have asked for a new cpn, she should of still come yesterday. I complained about her because she didnt turn up a fortnight ago either and called me 2hours later from my appointment to say she got caught up in an appointment. So I think what she is doing is inadequate. 
  • Former MemberFormer Member Moderator Posts: 1,084 Wise Owl
    Hey Sham, 

    Sending hugs, just wanted to check in to see how you are doing? :heart:

  • Former MemberFormer Member Deactivated Posts: 496 Listening Ear
    I'm so pissed off because I still havent seen my cpn.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Moderator Posts: 1,084 Wise Owl
    Hey Sham, 

    Sorry to hear that you haven't seen your CPN yet, is there anyone you could contact to try and find out what's going on? 

    We are all here for you :heart:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 87 Budding Regular
    hey @Sham ,
    just read your post about your issues with mom and I can tell you that I have totally the same. even though she lives with my young brother (so she's not alone) and I do not live with her more than 10 years I still feel bad when I leave her cause she almost all the time cries when I leave...

    I realized that it's very important for me to have my own life, to have my date, friends, job, private space and if I stay with her I won't have the bigger part of it, so sooner or later I'll hate her for that and I have no wish to hate my mom. I do not stay with her for her (maybe it sounds strange but for me it's like that) , to keep our relation good with her, to enjoy time with her I need to live separately. Maybe it makes sence for you either?

  • Former MemberFormer Member Deactivated Posts: 496 Listening Ear
    Stephanie, I have spoken to someone today and my cpn is due to to come and see me on Friday at 12 for the third time. I wonder if she'll turn up this time.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Deactivated Posts: 496 Listening Ear
    Why do you feel bad when you leave your mum Valeria?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    Hey @Sham <3

    I can imagine not having your cpn turn up is really frustrating. I'm glad she's due to come to see you on friday - hopefully she'll turn up this time <3 Keep us posted if you like.

    How have you been feeling (no pressure to talk about it)? And I don't suppose visiting your mum has gotten any easier since you posted this thread? <3
  • Former MemberFormer Member Deactivated Posts: 496 Listening Ear
    If she dosent turn up Friday I will be having meetings with the nurse in charge at my hub and the manager because I have put in a formal complaint.

    I'm not feeling okay. I keep thinking about harming myself for now in a more serious way, when I am at my mums later and she is in bed tonight. I could sneek down stairs. I'm going to my mums later because it's my Birthday tomorrow. It hasent really gotten any easier especially because how often I plan about committing suicide and that makes me think about my mum obviously.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    Aww, I'm sorry and sad to read that :( - it sounds like you're feeling awful.

    I hope you can keep yourself safe buddy. Please don't hesitate to reach out - The Mix has crisis messenger, or there's Samaritans who you can call on 116 123, I think - or text on 07725909090 <3

    I'm wishing you a happy birthday btw - though I can hear that you may not be in the best of spirits x

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