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Crush on female teacher

HazzyAHazzyA Posts: 3 Newbie
Hi I'm Hazzy
So basically I have a crush on this teacher at my school. I know it's illegal to have a relationship with her but I don't know why I feel the way I feel towards her - it's my first time feeling emotionally attracted to anyone, let alone another female so it's all really new and confusing for me.
Any advice???


  • Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,935 Extreme Poster
    Hey <3

    I totally see why this would be confusing for you.

    To make more sense of these feelings or figure out what to possibly do, it can be useful to try get to the bottom of it. Do you have a crush on anyone else? You may find you're crushing on a lot of people right now, which could suggest you're lonely, or you're trying to work out your sexuality. Or maybe it's just her - I might suggest that you really like her type of personality or looks, or a trait of hers - and maybe you wouldn't want to really be with her, but you would want someone with that thing in common? On the other hand, I think you can just have a crush on anyone.

    I know this type of situation must be hard. Does it make you upset that you can't be in a relationship with her?

    Sorry I don't have much advice lol <3
  • MikeMike Screen addict 🎮 LondonPosts: 2,923 Community Manager
    Just dropping by very briefly to add to what @kathleen0172 said. The Mix has an article on teacher crushes, which used to be one of our most popular: https://www.themix.org.uk/work-and-study/student-life/im-in-love-with-my-teacher-1498.html

    All behaviour is a need trying to be met.
  • JellyelephantJellyelephant Bpd bitch ✌🏼 Posts: 792 Part of The Mix Family
    Just wanted to reassure you that this is so normal!!! It's ok to explore your feelings around your teacher and sexuality (although not through having a relationship with her of course!). Perhaps try writing stuff down to make sense of it? Or talking to a helpline about it? I know there is some great LGBT helplines out there. It is so normal to have feelings for another female, and it may or may not have any meaning. Sometimes it is just that they are in a position of power, or they are very kind and supportive of you etc.... do you think that you may be LGBT+? is that something you want to explore? Obviously it is illegal to have a relationship with your teacher, but it doesn't mean your feelings are wrong. As I said, plenty of people have crushes on teachers - I know I have! 
    The sun will rise and we will try again 
  • AidanAidan Clever idiot Posts: 2,656 Boards Champion
    edited April 2019
    Hey Hazzy,

    Wanna echo everyone else and reassure you that it's completely normal! I had a bit of a man crush on my maths teacher once, he was cute and had a nice accent and he made and understood references to meme culture.

    As much as a real relationship with your teacher would land you both (especially her) in trouble, you could use some sort of 'imaginary relationship' dynamic to explore what it is you actually like about them and try looking for those traits in other people. It's completely normal and quite fun to be finding new things to look for in people.

    At the same time, as @kathleen0172 says you can pretty much have a crush on anyone and any time, and more often than not crushes don't lead anywhere and people move on to someone else and a real relationship with no regrets!

    There's various ways you could explore your sexuality too, I'm not an expert on it at all but I'd always suggest communicating with an LGB community and finding if there's anywhere you feel like you fit in and what advice they'd give. @Jellyelephant mentioned some LGBT helplines, that could be something to look at?

    Take care!
    "Do, or do not, there is no try" <(•.•)>              
  • AzzimanAzziman The Mix convert Posts: 829 Part of The Mix Family
    Hey :)

    Crushes are natural, don't worry about it! In this case, as long as you don't enter a relationship, there's nothing wrong!x

    Much love <3
  • chubbydumplingchubbydumpling DurhamPosts: 460 Moderator
    Hey @HazzyA :)

    There's absolutely nothing wrong with how you are feeling! It's totally normal to crush on a teacher or authority figure- we've all been there. I've had some pretty fierce, embarrassing crushes on both male and female teachers. Sometimes, the feelings are even more intense because we know our crush is so unattainable. I think, like @Aidan says, that indulging in an 'imaginary relationship' is a good exercise for you to figure out what you might want out of a future partner.

    Everyone has made some really good points about figuring out your sexuality and getting support for that. I'm wondering if maybe there's a close friend or family member you can talk to about this as well? I know that when I was a teenager and exploring my sexuality, the idea of calling a helpline or talking to strangers about my feelings was a bit daunting. 

    Feel free to keep posting here though, and take care!
  • tkdogtkdog Posts: 173 Helping Hand
    edited April 2019
    Feeling attracted to someone is normal thing, it might be your first time so it is daunting especially in this situation. Maybe it is that she is nice and have qualities that you relate to. With teachers I never been in that situation or directly know anyone (indirectly yes.) but as have gathered it is a sticky one if it ever becomes serious and more than just a being attracted.
    I don't however think it is anything to be worried about at least, you being attracted is nothing wrong and it isn't a rare happening even if it is a crush on teacher, a lot of people have to certain extents.

    I have had many crush on people of my own gender (sucks as often feeling is not returned ;p). I think with that what helps if you become comfortable with this yourself as well as understand it better, and connect with others who have an understanding of it i.e. a community of some sort, or even telling friends who you trust on this topic. Reading useful information or even engaging in like fiction and stuff can help to!

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