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Being discharged from MH services

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    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    Aww:( I doubt this helps to hear, but this will pass - stay strong <3 And keep us posted.
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,565 Skive's The Limit
    Everything is coming to the conclusion that life (mine and others) would be better if i wasnt here. I feel very sorry for myself and dk how to get out of this anymore. I cant keep living like this another day let alone until i die a natural death. Just feel trapped
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    Wish we could help <3

    I feel like I'm bombarding you a bit as I've already said this a fair amount. But life certainly wouldn't be better you weren't here. It would be worse, if anything.

    I'm feeling pretty trapped right now too. In my experience at least, it's a really distressing feeling:( As you've said - there's always a way out. Is there anything in particular that you feel scared about or that you can't get out of? Or do you just not know how to stop the pain?
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,565 Skive's The Limit
    :(not a way out from my problems. Dk what am waiting for. Should be dead
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    I totally know how much it can not feel like it. Really, I don't know if you can see the "light". The suffering prevents us from seeing clearly. But the light is there. I definitely believe there's a way out for you. That you'll feel better. That you have lots of good things waiting for you. And of course, that your life is important and useful. <3
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,565 Skive's The Limit
    edited April 2019
    There is something i cant get away from. Something more recent. But i cant say it here or to anyone. 
    And there is actually no way out of it :(but to diE

    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that:( You can PM me if want to say it privately, just so I know, alternatively you could talk about it to somewhere confidential? - but I know you said you can't say it to anyone. Whatever it is, I don't think dying is ever the way. x
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,565 Skive's The Limit
    Anyone would judge me so i cant but thank you. 

    Either way i feel like im missing out on life & feel very cut off & not a part of it and no identity. I will never be 20 again or 19, 18, 16 ,17 ,16 .... and all the other years ive spent being depressed. And i feel missing out on life and its not getting better and feel really alone and rather be dead then think about how good life could be. 
    And an a no one and i feel bad youre using your time to speak to a loser
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    I doubt that <3

    Aww:( I think what you've described there is really understandable, and I sympathise. Is there anything you want to be doing in life, or is it more of a general, empty feeling? - you mentioned the years you've spent just being depressed, so do you feel you're missing out on a good life and won't ever have one?

    You're not a no one or a loser at all. If I wanted to speak to a loser, I'd get Donald Trump's number lol.
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,565 Skive's The Limit
    edited April 2019
    Yeah :(this is not going to end well. I havent felt this awful since the last time i tried to kill myself. I dont think its the side affect of the meds. This is life and i dont want it😭😭😭😭still wil lie to my gp.

    feel so awful i think this is exactly how bad people feel before they successful kill themselves(iam safe atm - not that anyone cares )

    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    I can really hear how bad you're feeling :pensive:

    The meds could be worsening everything. Whether they are or not, I guess you probably can't think that well right now - which could be another reason to hold on, if you wanted. Because maybe this isn't life right now, but maybe more like a horrible time of mental torment that is going to pass.

    I understand lying to your GP. If you're sure it's worth it? As Mike said not long ago, your wellbeing is important, and maybe it would be worth telling them? It's totally your choice.

    Please don't hesitate to talk with crisis messenger/samaritans/papyrus/etc if you need. I think you're doing great by just staying alive, seeing how rough things are atm.

    I've got to go for the night soon. Stay strong Shaunie <3
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,565 Skive's The Limit
    edited April 2019
    Lied to my gp. Wasnt that hard. Then she started talking about increasing it if need to. Omg dont do that think is making me more suicidal.(said in my head) Seeing her in a weeks time tho. And Is with the gp i prefer. 

    Im feeling just as bad as yesterday. And my friend i saw on friday is asking how i am- she knows something wrong i just said am fine and she said i can speak to her. I cant speak to her - shes not depressed and saying how depressed i am will make her depressed
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    Ah. How are you feeling about seeing her in a week's time?

    I don't think talking to your friend about how depressed you are is gonna make her depressed <3 Do you think talking to her would be of any help, if you didn't have that concern?

    Sorry to hear you're feeling just as bad:( Hugs <3
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,565 Skive's The Limit
    edited April 2019
    Deleted. No one cares
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,565 Skive's The Limit
    edited April 2019
    Deleted. Because it is spam & no one cares
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    We do care buddy <3
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    JellyelephantJellyelephant Posts: 1,897 Extreme Poster
    Sending lots of love to you Shaunie - I care about you a lot <3
    The sun will rise and we will try again 
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    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    How are you feeling today Shaunie? (only if want to talk about it)
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,565 Skive's The Limit
    Not great but thank you for checking!  
    Rape crisis still havent rang me :(((((((
    floxetine is making my eyes feel weird
    i wish i was dead
    everyone hates me:((
    and i hate myself
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,565 Skive's The Limit
    I realllyyyyy want to be dead:(
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,565 Skive's The Limit
    Please someone speak to me. Im so sad and alone:(
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    JellyelephantJellyelephant Posts: 1,897 Extreme Poster
    Hey shaunie I’m here xxx
    The sun will rise and we will try again 
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    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    Hey Shaunie (1, yeah I'm checking back in here sooner than planned, shoot me lol. 2, let me know if all my replies are too much). I'm sorry you're not feeling good :(

    I don't think anyone hates you. I certainly don't. And it's really saddening that you hate yourself <3

    Do you think you could ring rape crisis yourself to make sure they haven't forgotten you, if you don't hear from them soon?

    Sending massive hugs <3

    And what Jelly just said - I'm here too. We care about you x

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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,565 Skive's The Limit
    Jellyyy Kathleen <3<3
    i think im going to go to a&e (not cause ive done anything) but im going to say i really want to die - done it before - ended up not even with 5 min chat. But i don’t know what else to do. 
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    Kathleen07Kathleen07 Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    Aw:( Good luck with that bud <3
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    Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,160 Part of The Furniture
    A&E sounds like a good place to go shauine if your really struggling that way they can keep you safe if you feel like you cant , Dont forget youve always got
    Samaritans : 116123  And the Mix crisis Text line  85258

    Stay Strong Buddy your doing amazing even if it dont feel like it <3
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
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    JellyelephantJellyelephant Posts: 1,897 Extreme Poster
    That sounds like a good idea - am proud of you Shaunie <3 I really hope that you get some support from A&E and can stay safe. Thinking of you and sending my love, stay strong x
    The sun will rise and we will try again 
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    AifeAife Community Manager Posts: 3,061 Boards Guru
    Hey @Shaunie

    I really hope you manage to get some support from A&E. It sounds like you're really struggling today and feeling really alone. Remember we're here for you too and if you feel you might need to reach out to crisis support services, Samaritans and Crisis Messenger are always just a text or call away. 

    Mind's sanctuary is also another option for you if you feel like you might need a safe place to go today. 

    Stay strong Shaunie, we're all here for you <3

    Maybe somethings don't get better, but we do. We get stronger. We learn to live with our situations as messy and ugly as they are. We fix what we can and we adapt to what we can't. Maybe some of us will never fully be okay, but at least we're here. We're still trying. We're doing the best we can. That's worth celebrating too ❤
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,565 Skive's The Limit
    edited April 2019
    Thank you all <3 xxxx
    i feel really bad :((( but should be going to Mind santurary after 6pm when it opens they will ring me. But that is usually helpful just have to not kill myself by then:(((((( just feel like killing myself and dont know why i havent i always think this and i know what happens after - i go back to normal shit life and no one cares:((( but i dont want to live :(((((its awful life :((((but My sisters said that maybe i dont have to go work on saturaday am going to call in sick and say i feel bad mentally. And go to rushden lakes with my sisters (is my faviourate retail park lol). 
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,160 Part of The Furniture
    edited April 2019
    Hey @Shaunie

    Your doing so well, well done for reaching out for mind sanctuary- keep holding on in there Shaunie I believe in you ,Your strong  and amazing and you can do this ! Remember you can always reach out to smaritans if your struggling in the next hour and half before the sanctuary opens.

    again I’m so proud of you for reach out - Your doing really welll

    sending you hugs 💜
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
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