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The mutual support thread

2

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  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 203 Trailblazer
    @Mike Thank you. I managed to stick with my streak just about, but it took a lot. 

    Today marks 3 weeks. Definitely an achievement but I'm getting worse every day. Arguments with family and constantly being hit with double standards are all getting to me and I'm just really struggling to keep strong like this. It just feels like I'm being pushed away by my mom who's always taking my sister's side of an argument. She makes time to annoy me, and I get in trouble for shouting. I make time to annoy her, and I get in trouble for annoying her. I'm at a loss either way and no one cares about what I have to say about it. 

    Honestly it feels like they don't want me around. Like I'm some third wheel. 

    And no matter what I do I'm constantly being hit by illness after illness, followed by insomnia then oversleeping and hey, why not switch back to insomnia again? Throw arguments and general stress and near-claustrophobic pressure from everything in to the mix and I'm getting so much closer to the person I was before I went to hospital. Last time my sister was the straw that broke the camel's back. I just don't know what to do about it all. It's all getting on top of me again. 
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,681 Skive's The Limit
    Hugs @LabraBell

    you have gotten through these feelings before and you still can. <3. Not to invalidate your feelings atm at all. But these feelings will pass and hope you can take a step back from your thoughts of suicide to see lil bit more clearly soon. 
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 203 Trailblazer
    I can't do this anymore. I hate the way I'm living right now, I'm so alone. My mom doesn't care about anything to do with us any more and I'm stuck scrounging for food in the back of the cupboard, looking through processed tins of food, eating meals that taste like cardboard. And I can't even do anything about it. My mom doesn't even care any more. letting her weed and smoking addiction and her pride get in the way of actually having money. 

    The way it's looking now I'm going to have to spend the tiny amount of money I've received for Christmas on groceries.

    I'm angry. Really angry. Angry at my mom for giving me a life that I hate, at my sister for acting like my mom is some angel and doesn't do anything wrong. And I'm taking it out on other people like a douchebag. Itd be best for everyone if I just died now..
  • Former MemberFormer Member Fruit loop Deactivated Posts: 2,762 Boards Guru
    I'm sorry to hear that labrabell that's horrible xo

    Remember the crisis messenger is available and so are Samaritans on: 116 123

    and of course so are we, sending hugs ❤


  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 203 Trailblazer
    "Still an edge fest. Still a failed attempt at gaining any kind of interest in the story. And still nothing more then garbage."

    Writing fan fiction was the one thing I could use as a coping strategy that would definitely help to take out the emotions. And now I can't even do that. I try my best to write but every single time I get done over with hate like this. I'm just going to quit, I think. It's obvious I'm never going to be a good writer.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Fruit loop Deactivated Posts: 2,762 Boards Guru
    I'm really sorry to hear that Labrabell xo

    But it doesn't mean you Aren't a good writer, you're just going through a bad spurt it can be hard to write during times like these, sending hugs ❤

    Have you talked to anyone about this? 
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,681 Skive's The Limit
    Ffs i am just trying to listen to people on this site called 7cups but they seem to think is for a sex chat or to used to be rude go get a fucking life. Misusing a site that is clearly for help. And say so many times i dont like chats that are just general chat to talk ahout anything cause i am boring but do not listen. 

    But really want to help people by listening to their problems. So dont suppose anyone wants to be listened to about their problems not general chat?


    (dont know if this is allowed) but heres my account

    https://www.7cups.com/@compassionateSunrise78

     i     would say on PM but that wouldnt work so well and think would need to refreash all the time to have a chat



    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,681 Skive's The Limit
    edited February 2019
    CAN SOMEONE PLS HELP

    I got this message 

    "Santander would like to verify a Debit Card payment to IKEA for (2476.00 GBP). If this was not you Please Urgently call us on 03303309341"


    Def wasnt me - never got anythin from IKEA

    I rang them and gave some details. I don’t know if i was meant to 😭😭😭😭

    Im not even  with santander  i gave them my card numbers that are at the botton (sort number & the other one but not the massive number) because i am stupid. But i put the phone down when they was asking how much i have in my bank account. Does that sound like a scam? Could they get anything from me with my numbers?

    Nothings been taken out of my account but stressed still & dont suppose anyone knows what bank numbers you should never give?


    (Please dont tell me to ring my bank company-- too stressed for another phone call)



    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 203 Trailblazer
    edited February 2019
    Since you're not with santander in itself that's 99% sure to be a scam. I'm not certain which numbers are dangerous to give out but since you hung up you might be okay. I know to order things online you need to give your full name, card number and expiration dates and I think that's all it needs.

    When I could actually access it, the barclays banking app had customer support within it, and I think it had a live chat for support too. If you're with barclays that might be a good idea. Any other banks might have the same. You should definitely talk to your bank about it though. Whether that's through a live chat or a phone call; as much as you may hate phone calls it's still a high chance that you've given a little too much information to a scammer so it's always better to be safe. They'll probably send you a new card to be sure. 

    Just remember for next time, if you're talking to a bank, they should be able to find all your details without you needing to tell them. Chances are all you'd need to give is your name and date of birth or postcode and they'd be able to give you all the information on your card. It's on their system. 

    Keep that number handy, as your bank may want to investigate it further. 

    Also - definitely check your phone bill. Calls to unknown numbers can have high prices attached to them and they may have taken money from you in this way. If that is the case you could take it up with your provider; but don't have your hopes up too much in this case. Chances are they may turn around and say "You chose to make the call and you incurred the cost." That's not a definite thing though. 

    Going to do some research into that number, and if I find anything interesting I'll edit with the info. Hope I helped. 

    EDIT: I searched the number up on its own and came up with a website - link here. The website says that that exact number has a hit count of 122 (Meaning 122 people looked at it) With the first being 8 hours ago and last being 1 hour ago. There is also a comment on there that says "Reported as a scam." If I were you I would definitely look into talking to your bank somehow, as all the evidence points to this being a scam.

  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,681 Skive's The Limit
    edited February 2019
    Aw thank you so much @LabraBell <3 that is soo helpfull!!!!!  :)
    Im with barclays so will def try to find their live chat.
     Yeah definetly was a scam then. so i am pretty stupid i actually rang the number ahh just hope didnt give too much info. & hope i hung up just in time to not give enough details. 

    thank you!!
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 203 Trailblazer
    Shaunie said:
    Aw thank you so much @LabraBell <3 that is soo helpfull!!!!!  :)
    Im with barclays so will def try to find their live chat.
     Yeah definetly was a scam then. so i am pretty stupid i actually rang the number ahh just hope didnt give too much info. & hope i hung up just in time to not give enough details. 

    thank you!!
    I'm happy to help. You're not stupid, it's an easy mistake to make nowadays, especially with so many different scams coming through. It's all so believable now. 

    Apologies for the slightly late reply. I was working on a post in T&Ft lol
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,681 Skive's The Limit
    edited March 2019
    That website that you sent has got 11 added comments since the one comment in which said "reported as scam" and now saying it was a scam pretending to be santander & got the same message as me.
    Only that i was stupid enough to ring lol i know can be realistic but i didnt even question it was a scam before i rang lol and i have never been to ikea or with santander, so that s stupid hahaha. Least will know for next time. 
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 203 Trailblazer
    I really needed the support in chat tonight. But of course my mother had to go and screw it all up yet again. Hilarious, really, how I get fucked over all the time by the person who's supposed to care about me. And yet when I get the slightest bit annoyed suddenly everyone hates me. Ha. Well it's not like anything's new there. It doesn't matter what I do, I'm just going to be despised and discriminated against. 

    Just no point any more.
  • Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,194 Part of The Furniture
    edited March 2019
    @LabraBell ohh I’m sorry that happened with your mum ! 

    Just thought I’d let you know that I dont hate you and won’t ever hate you even if you do get annoyed , we all have to vent our frustration and if you want to do it here that’s fine ❤️



    Im really struggling this week the Feelings and thoughts and urges  of S/H and Suicide have been really strong even though I wouldn’t act on then just having them here upsets and scares me . I’m so desperate to tell Beth . I nearly did on Monday but jumped out at the last minute and just said there’s things I want to tell you but I’m too scared to , I just feel like there’s something’s  stopping me and I don’t know what , I was told to right it down to her but then I get scared that she’ll use it against me or show someone else and if she deems me as I safe or in immediate risk I have to stay at CAMHS whilst she rings mum and I can’t be dealing with her watching my 2/47 , locking things away watching me with things , I’d much rather be admitted to the children’s ward st the hospital for a few days to be kept safe that have that from mum 😭
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 203 Trailblazer
    edited March 2019
    The ONE, SINGLE TIME that it's gone so far I NEED to talk to a crisis team has to be when I have no way of contacting any of them. 

    TW: suicidal ideation
    Guess I better count myself lucky I don't know where my bus pass is. Because if I did I'd have committed by now. And that's still a possibility. 


    [edited by moderator to add spoiler warning]

    Post edited by JustV on
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,938 Extreme Poster
    I'm just dropping by to send hugs <3

    @Millie2787 That sounds really distressing:( So it seems like you have the need to tell Beth, but you're scared that she'll think you're not safe and tell your mum? Because of my situation, I totally get not feeling safe/able to tell someone about what you're truly going through - though of course I know it's not the same <3 Do you think it's worth the risk to tell her? Maybe if you phrased it right idk. Aw hugs buddy:( x

    @LabraBell I'm so sorry to hear that:( Keep safe - you can get through this. If at any point you feel unsafe with suicidal thoughts, try to get to A&E or ring 999. If you can use email, I don't suppose it's worth emailing Samaritans or something? We care about you and are here bud <3<3
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 203 Trailblazer
    kathleen0172 said:
    I'm just dropping by to send hugs <3

    @Millie2787 That sounds really distressing:( So it seems like you have the need to tell Beth, but you're scared that she'll think you're not safe and tell your mum? Because of my situation, I totally get not feeling safe/able to tell someone about what you're truly going through - though of course I know it's not the same <3 Do you think it's worth the risk to tell her? Maybe if you phrased it right idk. Aw hugs buddy:( x

    @LabraBell I'm so sorry to hear that:( Keep safe - you can get through this. If at any point you feel unsafe with suicidal thoughts, try to get to A&E or ring 999. If you can use email, I don't suppose it's worth emailing Samaritans or something? We care about you and are here bud <3<3
    I have no access to a&e. I don't have any way of making calls.

    Emails might work but all .I have right now is my phone. And the damn thing has crashed 7 times just while I've been trying to write this comment. I don't have the patience to write emails if it keeps crashing and ill just end up throwing it up the wall. Barely any use to me anyway.
  • JustVJustV Community Manager Posts: 5,577 Part of The Furniture
    Hey @LabraBell, I know the others have given some fab words of advice here about getting in touch with crisis services and other wonderful bits of support.

    I just wanted to add that you can contact Crisis Messenger any time by texting THEMIX to 85258. I've also edited your post above to drop in a spoiler warning just in case.

    If you do feel like you're at breaking point, it's best to seek support from one of those organisations rather than posting here so that they can get you the help you really need in that moment, and we can keep this space safe for everyone. :) 

    It sounds like you're stuck between a rock and a hard place at the mo. and you're doing brilliantly to reach out as you need to. As @kathleen0172 said, you're capable of getting through this. It will pass.

    Could you get through to the crisis team in the end?
    Click here for everything you need to know about The Mix's merger
    All behaviour is a need trying to be met.
    The truth resists simplicity.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 203 Trailblazer
    edited March 2019
    I cant text. No sim.

    And no. I didn't get ahold of anyone. My life just got 20x worse instead. 

    My computer no longer works. My phone no longer charges. I am using the last few percebt to write this. I

    I have nothing left now. no contact.  nothing to pass time. i can't even do assignment work now. 

    [edited by moderator]
    Post edited by JustV on
  • Former MemberFormer Member Moderator Posts: 1,084 Wise Owl
    Hey, 

    Just wanted to pop onto this thread to echo what has already been said by others, 

    We are all here for each other, :heart:
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,681 Skive's The Limit
    edited March 2019
    PLEASE CAN SOMEONE HELP ASAP🙃🙃🙃


    I know I'm a bit stupid but I have no idea how I'm meant to answer this question.


    I have just always lived in the UK

    Does anyone know how meant to answer? 

    :/



    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,194 Part of The Furniture
    @shauine Yes for the first one and then I assume yes for the second one and then leave the 3rd blank because it relates to immigration status 
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,681 Skive's The Limit
    Millie2787 said:
    @shauine Yes for the first one and then I assume yes for the second one and then leave the 3rd blank because it relates to immigration status 
    Thank you @Millie2787!!
    I was thinking this too
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,194 Part of The Furniture
    Shaunie said:
    Millie2787 said:
    @shauine Yes for the first one and then I assume yes for the second one and then leave the 3rd blank because it relates to immigration status 
    Thank you @Millie2787!!
    I was thinking this too
    @shauine if your unsure is there anyone you can get hold off to just clarify it with them ? 
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,681 Skive's The Limit
    Millie2787 said:
    Shaunie said:
    Millie2787 said:
    @shauine Yes for the first one and then I assume yes for the second one and then leave the 3rd blank because it relates to immigration status 
    Thank you @Millie2787!!
    I was thinking this too
    @shauine if your unsure is there anyone you can get hold off to just clarify it with them ? 
    Yeah could ask them but won't cause I don't want to come across as really stupid lol
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,194 Part of The Furniture
    Shaunie said:
    Millie2787 said:
    Shaunie said:
    Millie2787 said:
    @shauine Yes for the first one and then I assume yes for the second one and then leave the 3rd blank because it relates to immigration status 
    Thank you @Millie2787!!
    I was thinking this too
    @shauine if your unsure is there anyone you can get hold off to just clarify it with them ? 
    Yeah could ask them but won't cause I don't want to come across as really stupid lol
    @shauine you won’t come across as stupid , they’re much rather people ask questions about it just to clarify things ❤️
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
  • ItaliaItalia Posts: 236 Trailblazer
    Hey @Shaunie

    Your not being stupid.  These forms are overly complicated and they use really weird language.  So its good you asked.  

    Is there a number on the form you can call and double check with them.  Usually on forms like this there should be a number that says if you need any help completing these forms please call here.  Does that sound like something you would be able to do?  It's probably safe to double check, we wouldn't want to advise you wand it be wrong.   These things can be tricky.  

    Let us know how you go with the number.

    Italia :) 

    “People who wade into discomfort and vulnerability and tell the truth about their stories are the real badasses.”
    -     Brene Brown

  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,681 Skive's The Limit
    Thank you @Millie2787 and @Italia I found out and is what @Millie2787 you said. And I've handed in my application 😊
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Millie2787Millie2787 Community Champion Posts: 5,194 Part of The Furniture
    @shauine welll done ! I’m sure your application will be amazing ❤️
    Sometimes all you need is one person to believe in you , for you to begin to believe in yourself.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 203 Trailblazer
    I haven't been in college as much as I should have been lately because of emotional issues. So some of the work that needs doing is piling up.

    I've just discovered the course I applied for in further education was declined, despite my tutor telling me he wanted me on there more than most of the applicants. I can only assume that the absence has caused it.

    I'm so lost now. I was so sure I'd be taking that course, and now I have nothing. I don't want to look into other universities because I've had my heart set on staying with the college for my uni education. I don't even know if I'll want to go into policing any more.

    I've been so desperate to grow up all my love but now, faced with this, I just want nothing more than to just be a kid again. I don't want these responsibilities any more, I can barely take care of myself right now, let alone do anything else.

    Time is of the essence now so I'll have to make the decision to not go into uni or to try for a place somewhere else. But I just don't know what to do.
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