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The mutual support thread
Former Member
Posts: 203 Trailblazer
This is a kind of compromise between the direct support of Support Chat (SC), and the specialised support of creating discussions. If you have something on your mind but don't want to create a whole discussion for it, then just pop a comment here.
Alternatively if you feel like you have some advice to give to one of the commenters, then by all means feel free! Just remember to mention them in your comment.
Consider this thread to be the same as the ranty thread that's quite commonly used; with the only difference being that it's more specialised for support rather than just ranting about something.
Try to stick to the rules you'd usually abide by in SC, as they are tried and tested and work well. This thread won't be moderated as directly as Support Chat, so it's up to you, the posters, to keep it a safe place for people to get support
I'll start.
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A classmate has just passed on a message from my tutor, telling me to email her. I've been out of college for the past week because I've been trapped in a whirlwind of emotions regarding suicidal urges, so now I have to make the decision whether or not to tell her exactly what's going on, or tell her something vague that won't hold up if she questions it further. It's a massive dilemma because it's so hard to talk about to people T-T
Alternatively if you feel like you have some advice to give to one of the commenters, then by all means feel free! Just remember to mention them in your comment.
Consider this thread to be the same as the ranty thread that's quite commonly used; with the only difference being that it's more specialised for support rather than just ranting about something.
Try to stick to the rules you'd usually abide by in SC, as they are tried and tested and work well. This thread won't be moderated as directly as Support Chat, so it's up to you, the posters, to keep it a safe place for people to get support
I'll start.
----
A classmate has just passed on a message from my tutor, telling me to email her. I've been out of college for the past week because I've been trapped in a whirlwind of emotions regarding suicidal urges, so now I have to make the decision whether or not to tell her exactly what's going on, or tell her something vague that won't hold up if she questions it further. It's a massive dilemma because it's so hard to talk about to people T-T
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Comments
I think you should tell her whatever you feel comfortable with @LabraBell , but if decide to tell her & she is a good friend im sure she will be understanding & supportive.
If anyone has any quick advice on how to cope with phone calls id be really grateful 😊x
I went on voice chats a few times when I was younger. I would game and talk to people as I did. This helped me with phone calls a bit; although in the end what helped the most is I seem to just switch off the anxiety in a call. One of my first phone calls was with a police officer so naturally I would have been nervous, but I was lucky that they had a reassuring voice lol.
My advice there would be to see if you can work out why you're struggling with them. I have quite a strong brummy accent (It's not as bad as it used to be, but its still there) so I always worried that the person would judge me for my accent on the other side. When I steeled myself to get past that fear of judgement I found it wasn't as hard as it used to be, to be on the phone.
Hope that helped
Really love this idea of a supportive thread so thank you for starting this up.
Very brave decision to tell your tutor about how youve been feeling. Have you heard back from them yet? I'm sure she'll continue to be supportive so long as you're honest with her
Final question would just be about how you are doing, has the emotional whirlwind subsided now? Really hope you're well, and thanks again for starting this dialogue!
I got a response from her not long after posting this. I was pretty emotional about what she said so I couldn't update at the time.
"Don't think that i wouldnt understand or support you because i have had previous students with the same issues and i've helped them through tough times and im willing to do the same for you."
It doesn't seem like much but when I first saw that I couldn't stop the tears. It was a huge relief, and for a while after I was feeling better than I have since the issues started.
Although that's gotten worse again now. I'm getting so distanced from my family, I can't be around my mom or sister without being angry at them any more because their way of thinking is so much different to mine. I'm getting headaches and general tiredness too, and a sudden lack of appetite. I'm still not as bad as I have been, but it's rough.
I didn't even realise you were a moderator when I first read your message by the way. I don't know why
@Shaunie I've been experiencing the stress pain in my jaw today, similar to what you've spoken about if I recall. I can say I understand now lol.
i'll be sure to pop in and try and help the best i can, (and maybe make one myself if grow the backbone haha)
best wishes x
Sometimes it's good to cry. Releasing emotions and all. And if it helps you feel better it's actually not that noticeable when someone's crying unless it's all out sobbing. And since they're driving too, they have the road to concentrate on. You should be okay :P
I hope you're all good.
I've been let down by my friends again so I'm not feeling great.
That doesn't sound good though. Want to talk about it?
in any case all phobias and triggers should be exposed to over time, sleep or lie near the bed, get closer whenever you feel comfortable, it may be every night or every few. then just try laying on top, then slowly in it just for a bit.
depending on the reason you can use distraction methods, either ones to remind you that you are there and present like grounding, or ones to keep you occupied like breathing, watching something funny, or asmr to calm ect xx
Hope you start to feel better soon
"The way that I have found the light in my life is through the expressive arts because I know that I will be accepted for the way I am." ~ Me
"I'm going to get strong again and see you soon. " ~ Anonymous
But 5 minutes is still a result it's getting you closer.
I know it's hard but just keep trying, maybe longer each other? Try to keep reminding yourself of positive thoughts like the sheets are changed, the windows are closed, the room had been hoovered. There's no way it can be. Try breathing exercises and distracting yourself, wear earplug if it helps I have done in the past xo
I was fine yesterday. Smiling. Normal. happy to be alive. What's changed?
I'm losing the will again...
Not to say this is the case for you right now @LabraBell, but just a reminder that the option is there if you find yourself needing it.
Keep in mind that breaking a 'clean streak' like that doesn't invalidate that achievement. We have a tendency to give ourselves a hard time when we 'cave', despite being miles ahead of where we used to be (at the start of your journey, could you resist those urges for this long?). That said, obviously best of luck with keeping a handle on it - hang in there.
Also, totally frustrating that drastic changes in emotion don't always have an obvious cause!