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The mutual support thread

LabraBellLabraBell England, B68.Posts: 141 The Mix convert
edited November 7 in Health & Wellbeing
This is a kind of compromise between the direct support of Support Chat (SC), and the specialised support of creating discussions. If you have something on your mind but don't want to create a whole discussion for it, then just pop a comment here.

Alternatively if you feel like you have some advice to give to one of the commenters, then by all means feel free! Just remember to mention them in your comment. 

Consider this thread to be the same as the ranty thread that's quite commonly used; with the only difference being that it's more specialised for support rather than just ranting about something. 

Try to stick to the rules you'd usually abide by in SC, as they are tried and tested and work well. This thread won't be moderated as directly as Support Chat, so it's up to you, the posters, to keep it a safe place for people to get support :)

I'll start.

----

A classmate has just passed on a message from my tutor, telling me to email her. I've been out of college for the past week because I've been trapped in a whirlwind of emotions regarding suicidal urges, so now I have to make the decision whether or not to tell her exactly what's going on, or tell her something vague that won't hold up if she questions it further. It's a massive dilemma because it's so hard to talk about to people T-T
"You don't have to be that courageous, empathetic, good-natured person - you choose to be. That's who you are. Our choices are what define us, not the things that are inflicted on us."

-Mike

-=-=-=-=-

"Remember that you aren’t your emotions, Emma. You are what you do, and you’re doing all the right things."

-Paul, Childline

Comments

  • ShaunieShaunie :): England 🏠Posts: 2,338 Mega Poster


    I think you should tell her whatever you feel comfortable with @LabraBell , but if decide to tell her & she is a good friend im sure she will be understanding & supportive. :)

    If anyone has any quick advice on how to cope with phone calls id be really grateful 😊x
    “If we could look into each other’s hearts and understand the unique challenges each of us face, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance, and care.” ~ Marvin J Ashton 🌸🌸🌸
  • LabraBellLabraBell England, B68.Posts: 141 The Mix convert
    @Shaunie Thank you. I ended up staring at the screen for ages and just copy-pasted a message I sent to my close friend yesterday and explained. She's really supportive with my mental health so far, so I'd hope to say she'll continue to be now.

    I went on voice chats a few times when I was younger. I would game and talk to people as I did. This helped me with phone calls a bit; although in the end what helped the most is I seem to just switch off the anxiety in a call. One of my first phone calls was with a police officer so naturally I would have been nervous, but I was lucky that they had a reassuring voice lol.

    My advice there would be to see if you can work out why you're struggling with them. I have quite a strong brummy accent (It's not as bad as it used to be, but its still there) so I always worried that the person would judge me for my accent on the other side. When I steeled myself to get past that fear of judgement I found it wasn't as hard as it used to be, to be on the phone. 
     
    Hope that helped :3
    "You don't have to be that courageous, empathetic, good-natured person - you choose to be. That's who you are. Our choices are what define us, not the things that are inflicted on us."

    -Mike

    -=-=-=-=-

    "Remember that you aren’t your emotions, Emma. You are what you do, and you’re doing all the right things."

    -Paul, Childline
    Shaunie
  • JamJarJamJar Posts: 53 Moderator
    Hey @labrabell ;

    Really love this idea of a supportive thread so thank you for starting this up.

    Very brave decision to tell your tutor about how youve been feeling. Have you heard back from them yet? I'm sure she'll continue to be supportive so long as you're honest with her :) 

    Final question would just be about how you are doing, has the emotional whirlwind subsided now? Really hope you're well, and thanks again for starting this dialogue!  :) 
  • LabraBellLabraBell England, B68.Posts: 141 The Mix convert
    JamJar said:
    Hey @labrabell ;

    Really love this idea of a supportive thread so thank you for starting this up.

    Very brave decision to tell your tutor about how youve been feeling. Have you heard back from them yet? I'm sure she'll continue to be supportive so long as you're honest with her :) 

    Final question would just be about how you are doing, has the emotional whirlwind subsided now? Really hope you're well, and thanks again for starting this dialogue!  :) 
    Thank YOU for liking the thread :3

    I got a response from her not long after posting this. I was pretty emotional about what she said so I couldn't update at the time.

    "Don't think that i wouldnt understand or support you because i have had previous students with the same issues and i've helped them through tough times and im willing to do the same for you."

    It doesn't seem like much but when I first saw that I couldn't stop the tears. It was a huge relief, and for a while after I was feeling better than I have since the issues started.

    Although that's gotten worse again now. I'm getting so distanced from my family, I can't be around my mom or sister without being angry at them any more because their way of thinking is so much different to mine. I'm getting headaches and general tiredness too, and a sudden lack of appetite. I'm still not as bad as I have been, but it's rough.

    I didn't even realise you were a moderator when I first read your message by the way. I don't know why :sweat_smile:

    @Shaunie I've been experiencing the stress pain in my jaw today, similar to what you've spoken about if I recall. I can say I understand now lol.
    "You don't have to be that courageous, empathetic, good-natured person - you choose to be. That's who you are. Our choices are what define us, not the things that are inflicted on us."

    -Mike

    -=-=-=-=-

    "Remember that you aren’t your emotions, Emma. You are what you do, and you’re doing all the right things."

    -Paul, Childline
    Shaunie
  • LaineLaine Horse hugger Posts: 703 Incredible Poster
    Love this thread idea! <3

    i'll be sure to pop in and try and help the best i can, (and maybe make one myself if grow the backbone haha) 

    best wishes x

    🌈Positive thoughts🌈 


    "So wake me up when it's all over, when I'm wiser and I'm older" ~ Avicii

    "The months go by and I only feel worse,  try to forget the ones who forgot you first"  ~ Man Overboard


    "What's gonna be left of the world if you're not in it?" ~ Bastille
    LabraBell
  • TinyCatTinyCat Posts: 6 Newbie
    hiya, just messaging so I don't forget about this. its really good idea! it's gonna be good for Friday and Saturday without actual sc : ) 
  • LabraBellLabraBell England, B68.Posts: 141 The Mix convert
    @TinyCat This is what I was thinking about when I made it. Because I can find that I need support when there isn't SC, or even when SC isn't 'til later that day. the only problem is it could be a bit longer between responses, and could be slightly less moderated.
    "You don't have to be that courageous, empathetic, good-natured person - you choose to be. That's who you are. Our choices are what define us, not the things that are inflicted on us."

    -Mike

    -=-=-=-=-

    "Remember that you aren’t your emotions, Emma. You are what you do, and you’re doing all the right things."

    -Paul, Childline
  • LaineLaine Horse hugger Posts: 703 Incredible Poster
    Yeah i get that Labrabell but its still good for a good quick reply. i always have the tab open in the background and check often but its hard to keep on top of posts, when its here i will be able to help out more, like ranty thread or hug thread :) the less moderation is valid but mike ed and aife are around a lot and things can always be flagged for them :) 

    🌈Positive thoughts🌈 


    "So wake me up when it's all over, when I'm wiser and I'm older" ~ Avicii

    "The months go by and I only feel worse,  try to forget the ones who forgot you first"  ~ Man Overboard


    "What's gonna be left of the world if you're not in it?" ~ Bastille
  • LabraBellLabraBell England, B68.Posts: 141 The Mix convert
    @laine my thoughts exactly :D
    "You don't have to be that courageous, empathetic, good-natured person - you choose to be. That's who you are. Our choices are what define us, not the things that are inflicted on us."

    -Mike

    -=-=-=-=-

    "Remember that you aren’t your emotions, Emma. You are what you do, and you’re doing all the right things."

    -Paul, Childline
  • LabraBellLabraBell England, B68.Posts: 141 The Mix convert
    I feel really weird recently. Like I don't have any energy but I also have too much. Like I'm buzzing with energy that I physically can't expel 
    "You don't have to be that courageous, empathetic, good-natured person - you choose to be. That's who you are. Our choices are what define us, not the things that are inflicted on us."

    -Mike

    -=-=-=-=-

    "Remember that you aren’t your emotions, Emma. You are what you do, and you’re doing all the right things."

    -Paul, Childline
    LaineTinyCat
  • TinyCatTinyCat Posts: 6 Newbie
    Today sucked, I ended up walking home from college crying basically the whole way. Couldn't stop myself tho lol hope I didn't worry anyone driving past 👌👌👌👌
    LabraBellLaine
  • LabraBellLabraBell England, B68.Posts: 141 The Mix convert
    TinyCat said:
    Today sucked, I ended up walking home from college crying basically the whole way. Couldn't stop myself tho lol hope I didn't worry anyone driving past 👌👌👌👌
    Aww, hope you're okay.

    Sometimes it's good to cry. Releasing emotions and all. And if it helps you feel better it's actually not that noticeable when someone's crying unless it's all out sobbing. And since they're driving too, they have the road to concentrate on. You should be okay :P
    "You don't have to be that courageous, empathetic, good-natured person - you choose to be. That's who you are. Our choices are what define us, not the things that are inflicted on us."

    -Mike

    -=-=-=-=-

    "Remember that you aren’t your emotions, Emma. You are what you do, and you’re doing all the right things."

    -Paul, Childline
    TinyCat
  • TinyCatTinyCat Posts: 6 Newbie
    Hey, how is everyone? 
    I hope you're all good.

    I've been let down by my friends again so I'm not feeling great.
  • LabraBellLabraBell England, B68.Posts: 141 The Mix convert
    Well I'm doing okay today.

    That doesn't sound good though. Want to talk about it?
    "You don't have to be that courageous, empathetic, good-natured person - you choose to be. That's who you are. Our choices are what define us, not the things that are inflicted on us."

    -Mike

    -=-=-=-=-

    "Remember that you aren’t your emotions, Emma. You are what you do, and you’re doing all the right things."

    -Paul, Childline
  • LabraBellLabraBell England, B68.Posts: 141 The Mix convert
    Aah I forgot to tag you in my last. Sorry @TinyCat

    "You don't have to be that courageous, empathetic, good-natured person - you choose to be. That's who you are. Our choices are what define us, not the things that are inflicted on us."

    -Mike

    -=-=-=-=-

    "Remember that you aren’t your emotions, Emma. You are what you do, and you’re doing all the right things."

    -Paul, Childline
  • BubblesGoesBooBubblesGoesBoo Sunny ScotlandPosts: 1,836 Postholic
    Hoping this works, love the idea for this thread... was gonna talk about it in SC but not sure if it's really that type of thing? but I want to sleep in a bed again and not sure how to go about it … its a trauma thing that I cant sleep in a bed and its a bit embarrassing when im in hospital or in a hotel and have to sleep on the floor lol, so any advice or tips would be much appreciated. just the thought of it scares me and im worried in case it triggers flashbacks. 
    ' So I put a bullet where I shouda put a helmet, and I crash my car cause I wanna get carried away, that's why I'm standing on the overpass screaming at myself 'hey, I wanna get better''  
  • LabraBellLabraBell England, B68.Posts: 141 The Mix convert
    @BubblesGoesBoo I'm not really in the mindset to give support right now but I'll get back to you if I remember. Maybe ping me a notification and I'll get back when I'm feeling better :P
    "You don't have to be that courageous, empathetic, good-natured person - you choose to be. That's who you are. Our choices are what define us, not the things that are inflicted on us."

    -Mike

    -=-=-=-=-

    "Remember that you aren’t your emotions, Emma. You are what you do, and you’re doing all the right things."

    -Paul, Childline
  • LaineLaine Horse hugger Posts: 703 Incredible Poster
    Hoping this works, love the idea for this thread... was gonna talk about it in SC but not sure if it's really that type of thing? but I want to sleep in a bed again and not sure how to go about it … its a trauma thing that I cant sleep in a bed and its a bit embarrassing when im in hospital or in a hotel and have to sleep on the floor lol, so any advice or tips would be much appreciated. just the thought of it scares me and im worried in case it triggers flashbacks. 
    Sorry to hear that bubbles, x

    in any case all phobias and triggers should be exposed to over time, sleep or lie near the bed, get closer whenever you feel comfortable, it may be every night or every few. then just try laying on top, then slowly in it just for a bit.

    depending on the reason you can use distraction methods, either ones to remind you that you are there and present like grounding, or ones to keep you occupied like breathing, watching something funny, or asmr to calm ect xx

    🌈Positive thoughts🌈 


    "So wake me up when it's all over, when I'm wiser and I'm older" ~ Avicii

    "The months go by and I only feel worse,  try to forget the ones who forgot you first"  ~ Man Overboard


    "What's gonna be left of the world if you're not in it?" ~ Bastille
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