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is it cheating?
Former Member
Posts: 3,590 Community Veteran
first of all sorry, this could be a long rant
i started seeing this guy a few weeks ago, we're not in a relationship cause he knows it scares me cause of the trauma so we're just seeing each other, but i slept with someone else on the boat and i'm feeling so guilty about it but i don't know why, like me and the guy im seeing aint in a relationship so i dont think its cheating, so i don't know why i feel so guilty about it, and i don't know if i should tell him or not, i know he hasn't slept with anyone else since we started seeing each other so maybe its that, but should i tell him or just keep it a secret? i don't want to tell him and him ending what we have, cause he's the first guy i've found that's understood me and my past. But i just don't know what the boundaries are when you're seeing someone. someone help, this sounds confusing and jumbled but it's even worse in my head
i started seeing this guy a few weeks ago, we're not in a relationship cause he knows it scares me cause of the trauma so we're just seeing each other, but i slept with someone else on the boat and i'm feeling so guilty about it but i don't know why, like me and the guy im seeing aint in a relationship so i dont think its cheating, so i don't know why i feel so guilty about it, and i don't know if i should tell him or not, i know he hasn't slept with anyone else since we started seeing each other so maybe its that, but should i tell him or just keep it a secret? i don't want to tell him and him ending what we have, cause he's the first guy i've found that's understood me and my past. But i just don't know what the boundaries are when you're seeing someone. someone help, this sounds confusing and jumbled but it's even worse in my head
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It could be, but that scares me a bit... i dont like getting close to people like that.
yeahh i'll see where the convo leads, not sure if im seeing him anymore due to being ill but we'll see.
i hope he's okay about it, i just don't know what i want. part of me wants him to break of what we have to stop me getting hurt more down the line, but part of me wants to keep him. its just hard with bpd and past trauma.
If you're not in a relationship, then it's not cheating. Some people do feel guilty for sleeping with several people because it feels like being unfaithful, but you're not so don't worry! It's up to you whether you tell him - some will say it's being honest with him, but others will argue if there's any need to tell him if it's not his business?x
Much love
But i mean if you really like this guy youre ‘seeing’ - you wouldnt feel the need to have slept with someone else?. So then i guess thats what would come to his mind if you was honest with him
but i mean - things happen and maybe he would apperciate you being honest
@Mike Hey, Nah we haven't spoken about boundaries or that so i don't know where i stand, I'm not seeing him til Friday now so i have a bit of time to think if im gonna tell him or not, but i think i will, Thanks
@Shaunie Thanks, I do really like him, the only reason i slept with someone else was cause i think i was on the 'holiday high' feeling when you know you're going away, i know thats not an excuse but with BPD my emotions get fucked and i sleep with people as a kind of punishment to bring me back down to reality, It's something i'm working on in therapy. I think i will be honest with him, hopefully he will understand.