Should I go to the funeral?

Former Member

Hey guys! I’m really confused how to feel right now about things that are going on. As I said in my last post, my grandad died a few days ago and today I found out that his funeral is on the 4th June so just over a weeks time. I’m really not sure if I should or want to go or not. I have never been to a funeral before as I couldn’t face the last one I had a chance to go to so have no idea what to expect and I think that is one thing that is stopping me from wanting to go. I think I will feel bad if I don’t end up going and I don’t want to upset my dad from not going either but at the same time I’m not sure if I can face the funeral. 

I guess what I’m trying to ask is if you guys have any advice for me about whether I should go or can explain a bit about what I should expect if I do go. 

 

Skive

Do what you think i best for you. Everybody deals with grief differently and it's very personal, so don't let anybody try and tell you how you should be dealing with it.

For me I have always enjoyed funerals, and that may sound strange but they're a great way to come to terms with the death of someone you know or love. I've always treated them as a celebration of someones life, swapped stories with other people, and found out more about that person life and I've felt better about it for doing so.

[Deleted User]

Hey Esme,

Funerals are often difficult, but people go to show their respect for the one who is gone. As Skive said, do what you feel is best.

Some people give a donation as an alternative to flowers, so it may be helpful to you to give in your grandfather's name to a particular cause or charity. If you do decide to attend, it may be a good idea to bring someone with you such as a friend or a sibling, where they can give you comfort in mutual friendship.

Former Member

Skive said:

Do what you think i best for you. Everybody deals with grief differently and it's very personal, so don't let anybody try and tell you how you should be dealing with it.

For me I have always enjoyed funerals, and that may sound strange but they're a great way to come to terms with the death of someone you know or love. I've always treated them as a celebration of someones life, swapped stories with other people, and found out more about that person life and I've felt better about it for doing so.

Thanks for this! I get what you mean about enjoying them, thats one of the reasons i want to go and be able to come to terms with it. 

Former Member

Essie, I'm sad your grandfather passed away, but  by going to his funeral you will be treating him with the utmost respect for the love that he gave you, and the advice that grandparents have been so wonderful for. As Skive said so beautifully, you will feel better for going because also you will be able to come to terms with it.

I will remember you on the day.

Wishing you all the best,

~ Belle

Azziman

Hey Esme,

I know that they can be hard to go through, but a funeral can sometimes be a personal way for us to say a final goodbye to our loved one, and as Skive said, it's a good way to process what has happened and progress through the mourning processx

Much love

Former Member

Totally agree with what's been said above. I've also recently had a positive experience of a funeral - it was a tough day but a lovely day at the same time, if that makes sense.

Do you know who is organising it, will it be a family member? I found it really helpful to talk to them about what to expect beforehand as it was my first one too, and they can be quite different (I've been to a totally different religious one since). Sending love regardless of what you choose to do. 

Former Member

Thanks for all the messages. I have asked for the day off work and am going to see how i feel in the morning of the funeral to then decide if i want to go or not.