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scared of relationship

Esme17Esme17 The Mix convertPosts: 217 Trailblazer
Hey guys! Just looking for some advice smile.png

Ill try and keep this short! I have been speaking to someone online for about 7 months now who i met last year but then we both went travelling to different countries for a while. He is back in this country now and we have met a few times but he likes me and wants something to happen. I have never had a boyfriend and am still a virgin and now i know he likes me, i am really scared to meet him again. I think im scared of what will happen and scared to get into anything because its so unknown to me.

I dont know why i feel this way! He keeps messaging me wanting to meet and i have to keep saying no at the moment because i am so scared.

Sometimes i really want to have a boyfriend and then as soon as it is a possibility i dont want it anymore!

Thanks for reading, hope you can help!!

Comments

  • Tee ATee A Posts: 123 The Mix Convert
    Hey @Esme17

    ​Thanks for feeling confident enough to share how you feel.

    ​I am more than happy enough to give you some advice.

    ​From what you have said, I can see that this is a new experience for you which can be really exciting but can also make you nervous. It is completely normal for you to feel scared in this situation. I suggest letting the boy know how you feel, i.e. tell him that you feel nervous and maybe tell him that you are a virgin but I do not think it is a good idea to let your feelings escalate. I feel as though you do enjoy the company of this boy so it'd be a shame to let the relationship to end due to a lack communication.

    ​Good Luck :wave:

    -Tee A
  • AzzimanAzziman The Mix convert Posts: 1,092 Wise Owl
    Hi Esme17,

    Do what you're comfortable with. Let him know that you're nervous, which is natural if you've never been with someone before. But if you want to be in a relationship with this person and care for each other, then it's a good idea to meet him so you can spend time together!x

    Much love <3
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 0 Literally just got here
    I read and re-read you post, @Esme17 and still have the impression this guy seems to be obsessing on you. 7 months? For a single person to be spending so many months chasing you makes me question, what's his problem? Sounds like a creep to me.

    Then you admit to feeling nervous - that in itself is telling. My guy instinct would tell me that something has to be very definitely off if I remain feeling nervous. You said 'i am really scared to meet him again.' In which case, get right away from him. You'll be going to university in September anyway, and will be too busy with academic stuff to be doing relationships because the first year at uni the tutors will be piling it on. He should move on and find somebody else. I'd block him. Bloke needs to get a life.

    Think back to when you were holidaying in Bali. Were you nervous among the guys there? You had a brilliant holiday so if you had such a good experience then, perhaps when you go surfing in a beautiful country next time you'll be more confident making friends and wanting things to happen.

    Best wishes,

    Mandy
  • MirabelleMirabelle Owl Whisperer Kensington.Posts: 1,020 The Mix Regular
    You already know my views on this guy, Essie. The bloke's a schmuck. Don't waste time on him.

    Remember when I had that stalker, how scared he made me feel? This bloke on your fb is doing your head in and as Mandy said if you feel nervous, then don't meet him again cos the first time round wasn't the greatest experience. Was it? Listen hun, there are plenty of other good guys around and I remember your saying how happy you were for meeting that guy in the latter weeks of your holiday. Why settle for less?

    Please, just be careful okay? hug.gif

    ~ Belle
    'If you think education is expensive, try estimating the cost of ignorance'.

    - Howard Gardner
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 0 Literally just got here
    It took tremendous cougage going off on your own to Thailand and onto Bali, and you made two wonderful girl friends who are visiting you soon, I heard. Ask them, for I'm sure their knowing you better than us, they will give you great advice.

    Your next milestone will be leaving home for university. Think of the opportunities the university's social meet-ups will provide. You won't best wishes,

    You won't be the only newbie starting, and new friendships can be forged during the first semester. So try and look on the bright side, as that guy will soon become a memory and not an unpleasant one for giving him a very wide berth. :yes:

    Mandy

  • Esme17Esme17 The Mix convert Posts: 217 Trailblazer
    Thank for all the replies @Tee A[/USER] [USER="103773"]Floxy[/USER] [USER="102549"]Mirabelle[/USER] [USER="102567"]Azziman

    Sorry i didnt make it very clear, Its a different guy to the last time! We have known each other for 7 months and only been properly talking for about 1month. I have told him how i feel and he is really understanding of that but i am still quite scared to start something and its frustrating me because i dont know why!

    Esme x
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 0 Literally just got here
    Esme17 wrote: »
    Thank for all the replies @Tee A[/USER] [USER="103773"]Floxy[/USER] [USER="102549"]Mirabelle[/USER] [USER="102567"]Azziman

    Sorry i didnt make it very clear, Its a different guy to the last time! We have known each other for 7 months and only been properly talking for about 1month. I have told him how i feel and he is really understanding of that but i am still quite scared to start something and its frustrating me because i dont know why!

    Esme x

    That's all right Esme, I do understand. I think though that this nervousness suggests you be cauteous and only treat this new guy on a friendly basis. Whenever I feel nervous around certain people, instinct warns me to be careful more than usual. And it paid off.

    You shouldn't have to feel uncomfortable even though he was coming across as understanding. Many guys are usually nice and outwardly friendly, but never pushy so I'd be careful of him, ok? :)
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