Family struggles, not happy at home

Former Member

Hi, I'm new to this, over the past couple of years things have gotten really bad at home. Now I don't mean so bad that there's any violence or abuse. Just a lot of arguing making it almost unbearable to be at home. I am currently sitting my A-levels and going through the process of applying to university and already have so much to deal with, I've also been struggling a lot with my well-being for a while now and have recently sought help for it, my parents refuse to take it seriously and continue to blame my mental health issues on me being selfish and lazy. It is really hurting me that my relationship with my parents has gotten to this point as over the years I have felt that I was very close with my parents. It has gotten to the point where I dread coming home and I feel I cannot speak to them about anything. I truly believe they would rather have somebody else as a daughter and I just cause them disappointment and stress. I don't know what to do about this situation, I cannot approach them to speak about it as I am sure it would turn into a huge argument resulting in me getting kicked out. I don't want our relationship to get any worse and want it to return to how it used to be. I do not need this emotional stress at a time that is already the most stressful time of my life so far. Does anybody have any advice, or has anyone been in a similar situation? I would love to hear from you

Azziman

Hi Elisha22,

Sorry to hear your situation - unfortunately, it's not an uncommon one. Having to study while dealing with a tough relationship with parents is really difficult, and you need to make a choice about how you approach this. If this stress goes on all the time, then leaving it unresolved is a recipe for disaster. Having said that, you don't want to make things worse.

If you talk to someone at your school about it, they may be able to defuse the situation. Notifying a teacher you trust that you're having a lot of issues at home could mean that they step in to help - sometimes, you need a third party to resolve a problem between two partiesx

Much love

Invisible_me

Elisha22 said:

Hi, I'm new to this, over the past couple of years things have gotten really bad at home. Now I don't mean so bad that there's any violence or abuse. Just a lot of arguing making it almost unbearable to be at home. I am currently sitting my A-levels and going through the process of applying to university and already have so much to deal with, I've also been struggling a lot with my well-being for a while now and have recently sought help for it, my parents refuse to take it seriously and continue to blame my mental health issues on me being selfish and lazy. It is really hurting me that my relationship with my parents has gotten to this point as over the years I have felt that I was very close with my parents. It has gotten to the point where I dread coming home and I feel I cannot speak to them about anything. I truly believe they would rather have somebody else as a daughter and I just cause them disappointment and stress. I don't know what to do about this situation, I cannot approach them to speak about it as I am sure it would turn into a huge argument resulting in me getting kicked out. I don't want our relationship to get any worse and want it to return to how it used to be. I do not need this emotional stress at a time that is already the most stressful time of my life so far. Does anybody have any advice, or has anyone been in a similar situation? I would love to hear from you

Hey @Past User.

I'm so glad to have read this post. Feel so relieved. You are most certainly not alone, and so such a similar situation here. SInce I started struggling with my own mental health when I was doing my GCSE's my relationship with my parents went kay-way and still is with respect to that (now in 1st year uni). They don't understand mental health issues etc... and just tell me "get on with it" stop being stupid etc and made fun of it etc...etc... and is really hard to cope with alone undoubtedly and with the added pressure of Mental Health struggles and the academic pressure it all is a stir to get things worse and doesn't help.

I find the only thing that keeps me going still now and before was confiding in and telling people who do understand me eg: For me the teachers at school were really supportive so I confided into them instead. I also told them about my parents reaction etc... and they understood. THey and the mental health professionals have done quite a bit of explaining to my parents but still they none the better.  I have just given up- and feel like they will never understand. But it might be worth telling someone what's going on eg: a doctor/teacher and they can help you or tell your parents - they are very tactful in doing so and will probably have done it many a times and sometimes theat can help. Some parents may not understand because of no personal experience or feel a bit of 'toughness' will cure it but they are wrong!.

As easy as it is, please don't beat yourself up and everytime they say something unsupportive take it as they are saying it because they don't understand or don't know the appropriate way to respond rather than they don't like you. I know this is hard. and please please please don't give up on telling someone- tell someone like a school teacher or your GP about how you are feeling and they can help.just need to find the right person- See them as much as you want and need to. and it may be because of not having an understanding family you may need them more but that's OK. 

Also you are not at fault. This is a very stressful time and brings about a lot of emotion. I'm here to support you through it along woith the other members.

Take care. and Keep Going! Hope I have helped a bit x

Again, I'm so glad to have seen this, makes me feel so much better.

In_me x