Sexting - is it something to be ashamed of?

JustV

It feels like society is projecting a double standard when it comes to sexting. Evidence suggests that girls are more likely to be pressured into sending nudes or saucy messages than guys, yet are also more likely to be slut-shamed for it. We want to know your thoughts...

Should this be something to be embarrassed about?

What are your top tips for positive sexting?

Feel free to post any additional thoughts or feelings below.

Former Member

Top tip 1 - send them to the write person! Nobody wants to accidentally send it to someone else

Ed_

Hiccup wrote: »

Top tip 1 - send them to the write person! Nobody wants to accidentally send it to someone else

^^^^THIS IS ESSENTIAL^^^^ can imagine how awkward things could be if you did send them to the wrong person :hyper:

I wonder if we can come up with a top ten of tips from The Mix community...any other thoughts @Hiccup?

The gender balance that Mike talks about is an interesting one, it certainly feels this is the case at the moment, but surely this should be something that changes...be interesting to hear what people think, should it be something to be ashamed about?

Former Member

I think if people want to do that, then that's there choice - if it's doing no harm and that's what both parties want fair enough. Just like anything - if it does no harm and doesn't effect anyone, there's no issue.

But I do think both parties should feel comfortable and not under pressure- think it's a bit dangerous online with strangers but if it's like a couple then fair enough.

Not something I'd personally do, but just sharing my opinion.

Former Member

I think sexting can help improve the intimacy of a relationship and therefore cannot be classed as "embarrassing" as a general rule of thumb. On the other hand, I think peer pressure is awful and can lead to horribly embarrassing things, there was a recent channel 4 documentary about these texts can easily become revenge porn and be spread quickly on the Internet globally, therefore it should only be sent to a person you trust.

I think girls are giving more peer pressure about sending and also given more criticism about slut -shaming for doing such things, but I feel this is the same as regular sex. On the other hand, although not being a male, I think that men/ boys may be given peer pressure about a competition to see which male person has the most girls on their phone, this may lead to shaming and even bullying tactics.

JustV

Great points, both. :chin: I think the emphasis on being careful and safe about what you're doing (as well as who you're doing it with) is super important.

Would be interesting to hear what others think about @TheHebb's point about the more male orientated peer pressure and potential bullying tactics. Do you think it could fit in to that 'lad culture' and having to prove how 'manly' you are?

Former Member

Tip: If you are sending pics/videos only send what you are comfortable with. If they are telling you what to do and it doesn't sit well with you.. don't do it. If they don't understand the word "no" then they need to evaporate out of your life. It should be a positive experience. It should not make you anxious or scared.