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if you forgot about the things mentioned in your old journals then is it worth brining it up with your psychologist to talk about? If you'd forgotten them then it may make you feel worse by speaking about them suddenly again?
I suggest you write everything down that you want to speak to your psychologist about. You can either pass this over to her or use it to help and remind you to know where to start/where to go with the conversation in confiding in her more about things? It's really hard to tell the whole truth, and I understand that, but it's important you do best Hun.
Have you sat down with your mum and had a heart to heart conversation with her about this yet, perhaps that will help both you and her? The way she is reacting and the things she is saying Is unfortunately very natural although upsetting.
How are you feeling?
Hannah x
I'm with Hannah on this - if you have a lot to tell her, or it's difficult to talk about you could write her a letter or give her the journals so you don't have to say it upfront but she will still be able to know about it. I will say though, it's up to you what you want to talk about. You could always bring it up later in therapy - everyone has reasons why they don't reveal everything straight away and it happens more than you'd think.
Just wanted to add I'm not getting therapy, this is an assessment to decide on what's the best way forward for me, it may be therapy but it's not guaranteed. That's why I'm trying to let it all out, so the more likely they will help me.
How are you doing today?When is your next appt?x
I want to tell her, because this is an assessment - she's deciding what help if any, there's a chance I may get no help- so I don't want to miss important stuff out if it could mean the difference between getting help or not.
Thanks xx
Good Luck with the assessment today-Let us know how it goes.Keep us updated Hun.
How are you feeling?
Thank you, I'm doing okay just nervous for my appointment!! And so hoping it isn't cancelled due to bad winds, assume they would have contacted me if so!
Thank you Hannah,
I am doing okay, just very nervous as I said!
Got a lecture shortly, then I'm going to make my way to my appointment, which is at 3:30pm
Will update you afterwards xx
Well.....what a hectic past few days it's been. I was only my way to my appointment, then as I was walking my foot popped, I was in agony and couldn't walk- stranger had to help me sit at bus stop. Didn't know if I'd make my appointment, ironically I was a short 2 min walk to the hospital but I couldn't get there as was unable to walk, followed by all this chenaingins with taxi company. I don't know if you know but I broke my foot about a month ago and It was healed in my X-rays I got took on Monday.
Anyways I ended up going to my psychology appointment(after eventually hobbling onto the bus in agony) , burst into tears in front of my psychologist in the waiting room, cause I was in agony and all worked up from everything that happened. She had to help me walk to the room, where she got me to take deep breaths. Got asked if I wanted to miss the appointment to go to hospital but I just stuck at my appointment (as long story waiting for mum etc).
At my appointment I took my book I made. Finally, she said she feels she knows enough about me.....but she said she will continue to learn over our sessions. We are actually going to start something next week !!
Anyways, after my appointment mum wasn't for taking me to hospital as she said they will think you have "muchausens" but to be honest don't think she likes the drive to the hospital. Anyways my dad agreed to take me to minor injuries, who were more concerned about getting home for closing, sent me away with a bandage but no X-ray.
Then I went to the other hospital who have an A&E department, they were like we're sending all minors to .......hospital (the one I was at yesterday) but my mum told them that I literally couldn't weight bear and that she wasn't impressed with the other hospital. Eventually they agreed to see me, and the nurse was reading my notes from the other hospital and making it out that it was probably muscle etc. As apparently the other hospital wrote I HADNT injured myself! Anyways cause I was in a lot of pain and had swelling, she sent me for an X-ray.... but seemed pretty sure nothing would come back.
Next thing the nurse calls me over, shows me her X-rays and says I've re-fractured my foot in the exact same site. I only got rid of my moonboot on Monday and I fractured my foot again on Friday just by walking......hence seems like I have a weakness. I will be seeing a consultant next month and it's likely I will get surgery.
I know it's off topic, I just feel so stressed by the events and I'm gutted that I'm restricted again, cause I hate sitting about, getting up and out is good for my mental health
It does sound like a hectic few days! Sorry to hear you've injured your foot again - it's natural to feel stressed and restricted about the situation. I wonder what you could think of that might help your mental health whilst you might be mostly indoors for a while? You might find some ideas to start you off over here
Really good to hear that you're making progress with your psychologist, and sounds like the notebook really helped. It took a bit of time, but getting to know each other and how things work will really help to help you :yes:
Thanks for the advice raich, I am still going to uni but just as needed so still got a lot of time at home.
Outside of all this, I just feel I don't have nun in life other than uni and its reinforced now I can't stay out as long. As I'm going home to elevate and ice my injury.
No idea what I'm going to do in life let alone what I'm going to do at home
I'm really sorry it took me a little while to reply. I've been struggling and stressing etc over things a lot..Anyway,
I'm sad and sorry to hear about how it went the other day, and about your foot. How is that now?
It's great that they're going to be given you additional professional help and support. Did they give you an idea of timing of how long this will take?
Hannah x
Hi Hannah,
I really appreciate all you replies, thank you
My foot is a lot better, been taking painkillers regularly, got my moonboot, elevating and icing it when I can- I can actually weight bear now
No, it wasn't like she said right that's us doing x,y,z - she sort of just gradually moved into it- as I was telling her stuff, she was like we could talk about managing your emotions next week and other stuff. That's the first time we actually talked about discussing anything like that, its all been about questions, how I'm feeling etc. and she hasn't been giving much of a response until that session.Then I asked if she felt she had enough information, and she said yes, I will book you in for another few sessions. She wasn't specific though and by the sounds of it maybe she's just planning to see how I get on.
Still feel like I don't really have purpose in life
still feel i have no purpose, im not enjoying relaxing, theres nothing else to do, i just use uni work as a distraction yet still ive messed up, keep making stupid mistakes so ive gave up on that, now im even more lost than i was
feeling lonely and distant, just feel whats the point
That is still progression and still steps in the right direction though,so that's good.
Sorry to hear that-Have you tried other things to help you feel relaxed and help to distract yourself?
How are you feeling today?
Always here xx
Hey, thanks for your post
I've been looking into way to relax but not really having much luck, going to discuss it with my psychologist at my appointment tomorrow!
Actually feeling better today, I was busy, distracted with uni and I enjoyed my day. Had fun doing microbiology in practical today, got to look at bacteria under a microscope - must admit I'm a bit of a geek lol
Also had a nice lunch with my uni friends and my lab partner always cheers me up- she's lovely and we always have a good chat every week! Saw my mentor today, told her about thesite (never told anyone before) and she was like that's great. She's right I think thesite gives me purpose in the sense that I've realised I like trying to help people and it gives me purpose - so I want to help out more if I can! Surprisingly she said she thinks she's heard of this website before. Yeah and I got home not long ago so I'm tired and just want to slump down, but in a good way I feel less tense and more at ease tonight!
Hey,
You're welcome-I will always reply when I am on here and when I'm able to.
What ways have you tried to help you to relax?Well Done for trying by the way, that;s good. Ah okay, how did the appointment with your psychologist go today then?Hope it went well.
Sounds like you had a lovely and distracting time yesterday and so that's nice and sounds like it really cheered you up too!
Hannah xx
Hey
It was okay, first therapy session was all about learning what emotions are.
I have therapy homework, which is to record my emotions, what I was doing, time etc. She has given me an emotion wheel to help.
I think this seems awfully like CBT which I have already had, this worries me as I struggled with it last time. I feel I know where this is going. This time it's weekly though and shouldn't be as restricted compared to when I had 7 sessions on the Primary MH team. And this time, every 3-4 sessions we will have a review session to discuss how its going, whats working and whats not etc. I've been feeling very hopeless recently but trying to keep going, I'll give it a shot but a bit worried that it wont work, or I'll be unable to do it......I have nothing to loose I guess!!
Thanks for asking xx
it is very good and you are very lucky that something has started for you though, despite you feeling like it's CBT all over again.
You are taking the right attitude about this and you are most definitely doing very well.Im pleased for you.
Stay strong xx
I'm doing shit to be honest- the weekend was very bad and I've just realised I've put on so much weight, been binge eating for comfort. I like go out and buy lots of sweets and eat it one after the other(I'm very appalled to admit)
Woah, reading that about the binge eating sounds EXACTLY like me too 😰 xx
Nice to know I'm not alone xx
How are you feeling atm?xx