Evil to abort?

Former Member

I just found out last night that im pregnant, by my last period and cycle im about 3 weeks pregnant, due on september 1st 2003. Well i suspected i was pregnant and teh test just confirmed it, but i still started shaking and crying when i found out. My boyfriend was pleased. He said its upto me if i keep it or not and that he'll support me either way so now i just think if i do get rid of it im eveil coz its selfish, im 17 so not too young if you ask me, i think abortions using that excuse should me 16 and under. I dunno, im 60% on keeping it...just want opinions i suppose

Former Member

Its more evil to bring a child into the world and give it a bad life..

If you and your bf can support the kid and youre ready, then have it...

If you and your bf cant support the kid, dont have it.

Nothing evil about it.

Former Member

My ex is preggers too. Slightly different for her, seeing as she'd not 100% about who the father is (and at present doesn't have someone to bring it up with her), but she said she'll never get rid of it as she thinks it's wrong to do that.

Personally, I think it's up to the individual. There are so many different circumstances then it's hard to say whether it's right or wrong.

Good luck with whatever you decide

Former Member

2 of my friends r pregant at the moment and one is keeping it and the other is getting rid of hers when they told me wot they was going to do i asked then for 5 reasons y then i talk to them about it just to make sure they was posertive i think u should sit with ur b/f and family and talk about wot ur life would be live with or with out having a child

the other thing is if u want to abort the child then talk about it its a big step but dont feel pressured into it/out of it its ur body and ur choice

i hope i helpped in some way hun good luck either way

Former Member

its 100% up to you in the end, me personally think abortion is wrong and something you might end up regretting, but think about the the pro's and cons of keeping it or getting rid. what about your lifestyle, would you have enough money to take care of it? a nice house for it to live in? but in the end the final decision in yours do what you feel is right, and well if you think your old enough to have sex and get pregnant in the first place your old enough to make this decision.

Former Member

I think that an abortion will be wrong, harsh but my opinion, what Balddog said is true, but you can always put the child up for adoption, at least then you'd give it the chance of life, remember this choice will change your life, think carefully.

Former Member

Thankyou thats good simple clear advice! I think age is irrelevant in all of this now, its mainly my circumstances, well ill get to finish this year of college and my boyfriend is 19 has a fulltime job and his own flat. I know i'll get slated like fuck but i will seek benefits if we cannot afford to not get them! And maybe it might be possiblt to do teh second year of college but just start late, if i put the baby in the college creche on days my boyfriend is working, but then is that nasty palming it off? one 19 yr old girl in my class takes her 2 kids in, leaves them from 9 am til 5 pm and skives off some of her lesons whilst theyre at teh creche, i can undertand if shes il but shes just skivin!!!!!!!!

Former Member

I agree with Balddog.

If you want this baby, and can support it, then have it.

If you don't want this baby as much as you could, then don't have it. it is your choice, only you can make it.

(congrats tho if you keep it! hope its a girl, so muhc easier to nappy change, cos with boys you have to dodge!)

Former Member

Nikki, im not being funny, but didnt you say in another post that you and your boyfriend wanted a baby??
If you wanted the baby before, then its just a case of coming to terms with the pregnancy and getting used to the idea. its bound to be scarey when you first find out. I personally think that 17 is very young to have a child, especially since youre in full time education. Having a baby will change your life, but not necessarily for the worst. If you really dont think you can look after a baby then have an abortion before its too late, youll have to make the decision soon though. If its a case of you do kind of want the baby and are just frightened now its become reality, then thats understandable. You just have to do what you think is right for YOU, and it doesnt matter what I or anyone else thinks. Its your body.

Former Member

Originally posted by chaos_insomniac
I think that an abortion will be wrong, harsh but my opinion, what Balddog said is true, but you can always put the child up for adoption, at least then you'd give it the chance of life, remember this choice will change your life, think carefully.

harshness is ok when its put politely like that

Former Member

I don't think not being a fit mother, or being unsure about bringing up a child is a good reason to abort. That's when adoption should be used really. Also remember that your boyfriend could up and leave at any time, he's legally got no ties to this child, so you have to feel that you could bring up this child completely by yourself with no help from him or your family. You sound like you've got a good head on your shoulders and you realise the consequences of any decision you make, so abortion isn't really necessary. I should just point out that you should make your mind up soon about whether to have an abortion because time is of the essence, after a few weeks it will be too late anyway.

Good luck, I hope you make the right choice for yourself and the baby.

Former Member

You posted this in sex and i gave you some links and phone numbers....

Former Member

I don't think that abortion is by any means evil.
I think it's evil to keep a child, when you're uncertain about the future.
About how you will provide for it.
How you'll have time for it.
Under which circumstances it will grow up (from babysitter to babysitter etc.).

Abortion is a hard thing to go through, even though you wish so yourself, but I think it'll be even harder for both the parents and the child to try to bring it up, when just not having the tools to do so properly.

Former Member

Originally posted by rainbow brite
Nikki, im not being funny, but didnt you say in another post that you and your boyfriend wanted a baby??
If you wanted the baby before, then its just a case of coming to terms with the pregnancy and getting used to the idea. its bound to be scarey when you first find out. I personally think that 17 is very young to have a child, especially since youre in full time education. Having a baby will change your life, but not necessarily for the worst. If you really dont think you can look after a baby then have an abortion before its too late, youll have to make the decision soon though. If its a case of you do kind of want the baby and are just frightened now its become reality, then thats understandable. You just have to do what you think is right for YOU, and it doesnt matter what I or anyone else thinks. Its your body.

it was november last year when i wanted one. we had been thinking about it lately and when i found out i was pregnant i was in my 'cold feet' stage of it, thats partly why an abortion is evil coz i kind of brought it on my self, i stayed on the pill but we were thinking about stopping it. Im only 3 weeks pregnant MAXIMUM so im givin myself til after new year to decide, i would like to keep it, its just, im havin itchy feet but i ahve plenty of tiem to think about it, im kinda helpin myself by calling the baby 'potato' so that it seems realer(no such word i know) lol

Former Member

Originally posted by HunnyPot
I don't think not being a fit mother, or being unsure about bringing up a child is a good reason to abort. That's when adoption should be used really.

Think of the emtions involved its easy for you to say because you have not been in this postion but carrying the baby going through the burth and then giving it away could be so much more harder than stoping a life before it has even begun...

Former Member

well it sounds to me as though you do want the baby, so I doubt abortion would be the right thing for you. I had an abortion at 17 and a child at 24, the way youve just described it, your feelings sound more like mine did at 24 when i actually wanted the baby! Id be more surprised if someone at 17 whod just found herself pregnant WASNT a bit scared. its a big thing.

Former Member

Just want to remind you, that putting a child up for adoption isn't necessarily easier than aborting.
Most women who put their child up for adoption feel some kind of closeness to the child, and it's heartaching getting a living creature which you have been connected to for 9 months, taken away fom oneself. Even if it is by own choice.

Now, I am nowhere near your situation myself.
But will you be able to nurture a child for that long, and then give it up?

Former Member

Originally posted by Nikki_S

, im kinda helpin myself by calling the baby 'potato' so that it seems realer(no such word i know) lol

That is not going to help you, you have to come to terms with it, and calling it potato is not a good idea. If you don't come to terms with it soon, you will get complacent and think it is not real. Then when the time comes it will be so much harder to accept it.

Former Member

I don't want to turn this into a debate as this thread is about Nikki and her problem. I just want to point out that many women have a termination and regret it their whole lives, because that was their baby that never was. At least with adoption you'd know that your child was safe and happy somewhere.

Former Member

no by calling it potato it helps! i obviously dont know the sex of the baby so i cant give it a proper name, i dont know why and it may never work for you but giving it this nickname makes me think of it as a baby not as a mass of cells!

Former Member

Originally posted by Knee High Stripy Socks


That is not going to help you, you have to come to terms with it, and calling it potato is not a good idea. If you don't come to terms with it soon, you will get complacent and think it is not real. Then when the time comes it will be so much harder to accept it.

thats what makes me think she really wants it.
when i was pregnant with my son, we called him broad bean!

Former Member

Originally posted by HunnyPot
Also remember that your boyfriend could up and leave at any time, he's legally got no ties to this child, .

Yes, he could up and leave, but you are wrong. He does have legal ties to the child. If he is the father he must contribute financially towards the upbringing of the child.

Former Member

as far as adoption goes, i dont really see it as an option, i couldnt give the baby away after going through so mcuh, plus id hate it to turn up when its odler like you hear about asking why its mum didnt want it, plus like in eastenders with sonia, wants its been adopted, you knw its outthere and you cant do anything about it, my decision to not give up for adoption may be selfish but it would hurt more than an abortion would...id be pretty good at convincing myself that teh aborted baby wasnt really ababy, i dont think that now but i cud soon believe it to get through the abortion, bytehway my best mate has a baby thats 6 weeks old and another mate has had an abortion recently so i am in a good position to see how theyve both been affected

Former Member

Originally posted by BumbleBee

Yes, he could up and leave, but you are wrong. He does have legal ties to the child. If he is the father he must contribute financially towards the upbringing of the child.

I stand corrected but she'd still be on her own.

Former Member

PLUS the fact that shes only just done a thread about baby boys names.
Im all for giving women support if they want a termination, but I think having an abortion when its not what they really want, is what fucks a lot of womens heads up. Having an abortion when you really dont want the pregnancy and had no intention of getting pregnant is completely different.

Former Member

Originally posted by Nikki_S
as far as adoption goes, i dont really see it as an option, i couldnt give the baby away after going through so mcuh, plus id hate it to turn up when its odler like you hear about asking why its mum didnt want it, plus like in eastenders with sonia, wants its been adopted, you knw its outthere and you cant do anything about it, my decision to not give up for adoption may be selfish but it would hurt more than an abortion would...id be pretty good at convincing myself that teh aborted baby wasnt really ababy, i dont think that now but i cud soon believe it to get through the abortion, bytehway my best mate has a baby thats 6 weeks old and another mate has had an abortion recently so i am in a good position to see how theyve both been affected

OK, well that's quite good that you know you could get over it like that. Anyway it's completely up to you.

Former Member

I'm beging to think taht you want it, refering to it as a baby already.....i know that if i was a pregnant girl and i didn't want it i wouldn't think about it as a 'baby'.

Former Member

Rainbow Brite you can read me like a book! Its spooky, never realised it but i suppose calling it potato is bonding with it isnt it, its weird to think theres a little me and my boyfriend growing and that i have a part of my boyfriend inside me!

Former Member

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Former Member

quote= (ive worked out names, middle names and godparents and i havent even slept with phill!)

lmao thats the kinda thing i'd do!!!!!!!!!

Former Member

hehheh!