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confused

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi,

I been seeing a girl for a couple of months..
She seemed to put more effort in the beginning and say loads of nice things about me.
I liked her too.

She suffers with depression and can be hot and cold, sometimes cancelling plans.

I just dont know what to do, I have fallen for her but she seems like she doesnt want to commit as bf/gf.

I want a realationship, and its starting to effect me to the point of waking up 5 times a night and not eating properly.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Have you had this talk with her? Winter is a rough time for a lot of people who have depression...
  • PGreenPGreen Moderator Posts: 175 Settling in
    Hi Localboy

    As Namaste suggests it might be a good idea to have a conversation about how you feel and to share that you would like to take the relationship to the next level. This will give her the opportunity to share whether or not she feels the same.

    The fact that she has reached out to you and shared with you about her depression may have been a big step for her. Her cancelling plans may not be a reflection on you and the relationship but about how she is feeling. We have some really useful information about supporting someone with depression that you might find helpful, as well as our Madly In Love website. Often understanding mental health problems better makes it easier to support someone.

    Keep posting :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thank you both, just found out she is still living with her ex and has been since we met, probably wont hear from her again now. She hasn't replied to me. Maybe they are back together :eek2:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    localboy wrote: »
    Thank you both, just found out she is still living with her ex and has been since we met, probably wont hear from her again now. She hasn't replied to me. Maybe they are back together :eek2:


    Anyway, you can spend, minutes, hours, days, weeks or even months over-analysing a situation; trying to put the pieces together, justifying what could've, would've happened - or you can just leave the pieces on the floor, learn from it and move the fuck on.

    Excuse the language, but that is actually a quote, from Tupac :) Kind of helps...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Glad you've found some words that help localboy, music can be so powerful.

    I hope you're doing okay - it's true that contemplating all the what-ifs rarely helps, even though it's a totally natural reaction.

    Take care of yourself, it sounds like her situation is a little complicated and some space could do you good :)

    Let us know how things go.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thank you Jo.

    We had a chat on the phone yesterday and sort of said we will see each other soon.

    I guess all I can do is leave the ball in her court and see what happens.

    The first couple of days, as I said in my first post, were awful because I really like her.

    But now, I am over that bad feeling and I am looking after myself, definitely eating right and I am going to the gym which makes me feel better, no point moping, I will make myself look better :)

    I think for now we may just casually meet sometimes, I don't know, I am the kind of guy that can have attention from beautiful girls and not really be bothered, but when I actually find one I like I will do anything for her, probably that isn't a good thing, but she is someone I like and I'm not sure exactly why.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I am sorry to hear that she is living with her ex it shows that she has no respect for you and the best thing you can do is try and more on believe me I know it's hard but the best thing you can do is cut all contact with her
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I am sorry to hear that she is living with her ex it shows that she has no respect for you and the best thing you can do is try and more on believe me I know it's hard but the best thing you can do is cut all contact with her


    :)

    Thanks for your advice.

    She was probably just wanting to meet someone cos things were shit with him and that's why she was so keen at first, I don't know.

    She could move out if things were as bad as she says they are with him.

    Some distance is probably the best thing.

    I wont contact her no more.
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