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Not a happy panda and stuff.

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I would like to second Fiends description of cockwomble.

    Definitely not you. Definitely a dickhead.

    (Besides, if you were a huge ugly freak he wouldn't have let you get in the car in the first place)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I would like to second Fiends description of cockwomble.

    Definitely not you. Definitely a dickhead.

    (Besides, if you were a huge ugly freak he wouldn't have let you get in the car in the first place)

    Maybe he was just too nice to say anything.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    But apparently not too nice to ditch you 30 mins from home. Cunt.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Wow, what a skid mark. Did you meet him on a dating site? I'd be inclined to stick a note in my profile somewhere warning others about what a low life he is.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Maybe he was just too nice to say anything.

    Let's say he did think you you think he thought. Or just that he realised very quickly he wasn't into you for whatever reason.

    A nice guy makes the best of the date, takes you home and just doesn't contact you again.

    A wanker does what he did.

    Maybe time to knock the online dating on the head? Doesn't sound like it's doing you any good whatsoever :eek2:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't understand why you're beating yourself up over some guy being a total fuckstick. No matter how much you're not into someone, you don't do that.

    Playing the devilish avocado, I'd say this had so little to do with you and so much to do with him, be it a freak out or just being a despicable minge-face that you should not take this as any kind of attack on you the person.
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    SkiveSkive Posts: 15,286 Skive's The Limit
    This bloke sounds like horrible cowardly little cunt. That must have been pretty shitty, but on the plus side sounds like you had a lucky escape.
    Deserve better.
    Weekender Offender 
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    JsTJsT Posts: 18,268 Skive's The Limit
    Scumbag.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I am back to being 14 years old and scratching words into my leg again. To go with the half a dozen or so blisters I've already got.

    Looks like this is gonna be a long, hard fall.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    frankipanda *hug* just want to echo what everyone else has said .... Please, please, please do not reflect any of that experience on yourself ..... Some people are just morons plain and simple you were just unfortunate to be part of some morons power trip and lucky enough to see what an idiot they are early on.

    Dp :heart:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    He's a moron. Plain and simple. Probably a twisted moron. I'd take a guess that if dating websites had feedback like eBay did you'd find that he does this kind of thing because he thinks it's funny.

    Definitely not worth beating yourself up over.
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    JsTJsT Posts: 18,268 Skive's The Limit
    Agree SM. I want to teach him some manners, with my fists.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It doesn't matter. None of it matters. This was going to happen at some point anyway.

    In other news, my leg is sore. But still not sore enough. I want it to be screaming. Everywhere.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    im posting this so my nest post goes to the top of the next page, what a post whore i am :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    This

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LqM_5QcMskc&feature=c4-overview-vl&list=PLLQEg_J20uTjKH8gitPHclgB-8UzkRbC4


    is a beautiful, smart, sexy woman and you know the best part ? IT'S YOU.

    Don't you fucking dare let that cunt drag you down. Yes i know it's hard (it happened to me about 15 years ago and i had to walk 30 miles back to Eastbourne from Brighton), yes it has knocked you but HE's the cunt. He's the sad sack of fucking shit with no balls to go through with a date or even say 'this aint gonna work'.


    I don't cry very often, i'm a big boy now, but the thought of you doing what your doing and how you're feeling because of some piece of scum...

    I can't do anything for you mate, dunno where you live, prob. nowhere near you, but please don't, just don't.



    XxX Kev :)
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    **helen****helen** Deactivated Posts: 9,235 Supreme Poster
    Hi Franki,
    I just slightly edited your last post, I hope you can recognise why, but if you're unsure then feel free to PM me about it.

    Rather than the focus being on the harm itself - do you feel able to talk a bit more about the feelings you're experiencing at the moment? I recognise that might just not be possible at the moment if you're in self-destruct mode and don't want to think about anything else than hurting yourself. These things are often easier said than done - I just wanted to remind you that we really do care about the difficult thoughts you're having at the moment.

    When you feel ready, it might help to think about what extent this relates to the behaviour of this guy? Are there other feelings/incidents that have surfaced? And what kind of ways have you been able to cope before?

    I know you're about to make the move up North and this is probably really nerve wracking as well as hopefully exciting. I don't know exactly how you feel in terms of your chances of this working out, but maybe you're afraid to confront the elements that are in your control because you've been feeling pretty disappointed for quite some time. I think this could be a really special time for you and feel that you deserve to put your wellbeing as a top priority.

    If you decide you'd like to think about some support with this, especially in relation to your current urges, http://www.selfinjurysupport.org.uk/ is an option - they have text, email and a new self-harm spectrum. It may be that right now isn't the best time to be looking at a self-harm spectrum, but might be something to consider when you're in the process of moving.

    *hug**hug*
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's not about this one guy. Not really. It's a culmination of lots of things and that's just tipped me over is all.

    I've always told myself that the reason I get stood up so often is because I'm too open about my sexuality and my mental illness. It probably isn't healthy to do that, but I'd rather give myself a reason that's to do with them being small minded pricks but something I can do something about than completely blame myself.

    But with this guy I wasn't like that. I mean, there was some naughty stuff, but not a lot, and I don't think I even really mentioned my being a stupid mental idiot.

    But he ran away from me anyway. It's like every little niggling paranoid thought and insecurity just got completely confirmed and now what? I'm not good enough for anybody. People don't want relationships with me. They want free porn and maybe an easy fuck. But I'm not good enough for a relationship. So many people in the last three years, since I broke up with Rich, have gone from just fucking me to bring in an actual relationship with somebody else. In fact, it's every person I've slept with since then, bar one guy and two that are already married.

    I know I need to stop parading my body around for every person that even shows the slightest interest. I know that. But it's harder than it sounds. If I do that and they don't like me, I can just tell myself it's because I'm fat and disgusting, which is what I already believe about myself. If I don't do it and they still don't like me, then that means there's something wrong with ME. And that's hard to take. That's why this has hit me so hard.

    But it was coming anyway. I've been right on the edge for weeks. I just needed a push. And what a push.

    I'm fine, though. This won't last long. Few days maybe. If that. I've never had the guts to be able to do the kind of damage I want to do. That's not gonna change. Even if it doesn't feel like me. Like...I can feel the pain. But it still doesn't feel like I'm hurting myself. It feels like I'm hurting somebody else. And it's not helping. It doesn't hurt enough.

    I'm sorry. Ignore me. I'll be alright. I'm always alright.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re read what Kev said. Believe it or not, he actually speaks a lot of sense. Has to happen occasionally.

    It's not you. This guy is a complete and utter cock. Even if you were truly horrific in every way, a decent human being would have said goodbye, make your own way home.

    Finding someone who you really click with, for a meaningful relationship is hard. I'm not going to try and deny that for a moment. It also takes a really long time (in my pathetic experience anyway). Look forward missy. xx
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Fucking antibiotics. Fucking having the doctor want to see me again in a week so I have to be good.

    Bugger.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Have an assessment appointment with the mental health team on Thursday. They're coming to my house, even. I saw the doctor just over a week ago and got my appointment letter through yesterday.

    Speedy.

    Not purged much since I've been here, but that in itself is making me antsy. Appetite is really up and down. Ho hum.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey franki, it's good to hear the GP got in touch even if it was at a snails pace. How are you feeling about the assessment with the mental health team?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Jo7 wrote: »
    Hey franki, it's good to hear the GP got in touch even if it was at a snails pace. How are you feeling about the assessment with the mental health team?

    Well this was my new GP in Yorkshire, and my old GP had sent them a letter so that's probably why it was so fast.

    Bit worried. It's a man coming which will be a bit odd for me. But it's something
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ah I see... I assumed you meant it was slow not fast!

    You're right, it's good that you're old GP did what they were supposed to and you've got something - as you say, something is a whole lot better than nothing.

    So much can depend on how you react to a person so I guess try and keep an open mind and have a good pal on standby to download to afterwards if you need to ;) Hopefully he will be sensitive to the fact that you're meeting for the first time and that this is a little daunting - probably for both of you.

    Let us know how it goes *hug*
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