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Definitely not you. Definitely a dickhead.
(Besides, if you were a huge ugly freak he wouldn't have let you get in the car in the first place)
Maybe he was just too nice to say anything.
Let's say he did think you you think he thought. Or just that he realised very quickly he wasn't into you for whatever reason.
A nice guy makes the best of the date, takes you home and just doesn't contact you again.
A wanker does what he did.
Maybe time to knock the online dating on the head? Doesn't sound like it's doing you any good whatsoever :eek2:
Playing the devilish avocado, I'd say this had so little to do with you and so much to do with him, be it a freak out or just being a despicable minge-face that you should not take this as any kind of attack on you the person.
Deserve better.
Looks like this is gonna be a long, hard fall.
Dp
Definitely not worth beating yourself up over.
In other news, my leg is sore. But still not sore enough. I want it to be screaming. Everywhere.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LqM_5QcMskc&feature=c4-overview-vl&list=PLLQEg_J20uTjKH8gitPHclgB-8UzkRbC4
is a beautiful, smart, sexy woman and you know the best part ? IT'S YOU.
Don't you fucking dare let that cunt drag you down. Yes i know it's hard (it happened to me about 15 years ago and i had to walk 30 miles back to Eastbourne from Brighton), yes it has knocked you but HE's the cunt. He's the sad sack of fucking shit with no balls to go through with a date or even say 'this aint gonna work'.
I don't cry very often, i'm a big boy now, but the thought of you doing what your doing and how you're feeling because of some piece of scum...
I can't do anything for you mate, dunno where you live, prob. nowhere near you, but please don't, just don't.
XxX Kev
I just slightly edited your last post, I hope you can recognise why, but if you're unsure then feel free to PM me about it.
Rather than the focus being on the harm itself - do you feel able to talk a bit more about the feelings you're experiencing at the moment? I recognise that might just not be possible at the moment if you're in self-destruct mode and don't want to think about anything else than hurting yourself. These things are often easier said than done - I just wanted to remind you that we really do care about the difficult thoughts you're having at the moment.
When you feel ready, it might help to think about what extent this relates to the behaviour of this guy? Are there other feelings/incidents that have surfaced? And what kind of ways have you been able to cope before?
I know you're about to make the move up North and this is probably really nerve wracking as well as hopefully exciting. I don't know exactly how you feel in terms of your chances of this working out, but maybe you're afraid to confront the elements that are in your control because you've been feeling pretty disappointed for quite some time. I think this could be a really special time for you and feel that you deserve to put your wellbeing as a top priority.
If you decide you'd like to think about some support with this, especially in relation to your current urges, http://www.selfinjurysupport.org.uk/ is an option - they have text, email and a new self-harm spectrum. It may be that right now isn't the best time to be looking at a self-harm spectrum, but might be something to consider when you're in the process of moving.
*hug**hug*
I've always told myself that the reason I get stood up so often is because I'm too open about my sexuality and my mental illness. It probably isn't healthy to do that, but I'd rather give myself a reason that's to do with them being small minded pricks but something I can do something about than completely blame myself.
But with this guy I wasn't like that. I mean, there was some naughty stuff, but not a lot, and I don't think I even really mentioned my being a stupid mental idiot.
But he ran away from me anyway. It's like every little niggling paranoid thought and insecurity just got completely confirmed and now what? I'm not good enough for anybody. People don't want relationships with me. They want free porn and maybe an easy fuck. But I'm not good enough for a relationship. So many people in the last three years, since I broke up with Rich, have gone from just fucking me to bring in an actual relationship with somebody else. In fact, it's every person I've slept with since then, bar one guy and two that are already married.
I know I need to stop parading my body around for every person that even shows the slightest interest. I know that. But it's harder than it sounds. If I do that and they don't like me, I can just tell myself it's because I'm fat and disgusting, which is what I already believe about myself. If I don't do it and they still don't like me, then that means there's something wrong with ME. And that's hard to take. That's why this has hit me so hard.
But it was coming anyway. I've been right on the edge for weeks. I just needed a push. And what a push.
I'm fine, though. This won't last long. Few days maybe. If that. I've never had the guts to be able to do the kind of damage I want to do. That's not gonna change. Even if it doesn't feel like me. Like...I can feel the pain. But it still doesn't feel like I'm hurting myself. It feels like I'm hurting somebody else. And it's not helping. It doesn't hurt enough.
I'm sorry. Ignore me. I'll be alright. I'm always alright.
It's not you. This guy is a complete and utter cock. Even if you were truly horrific in every way, a decent human being would have said goodbye, make your own way home.
Finding someone who you really click with, for a meaningful relationship is hard. I'm not going to try and deny that for a moment. It also takes a really long time (in my pathetic experience anyway). Look forward missy. xx
Bugger.
Speedy.
Not purged much since I've been here, but that in itself is making me antsy. Appetite is really up and down. Ho hum.
Well this was my new GP in Yorkshire, and my old GP had sent them a letter so that's probably why it was so fast.
Bit worried. It's a man coming which will be a bit odd for me. But it's something
You're right, it's good that you're old GP did what they were supposed to and you've got something - as you say, something is a whole lot better than nothing.
So much can depend on how you react to a person so I guess try and keep an open mind and have a good pal on standby to download to afterwards if you need to
Let us know how it goes *hug*