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slightly gross question about anal

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
if a guy cums up my bum, will his cum leak out or will it come out next time I go to the toilet?! (my current bf and I have been tested and are std free, so we want to do it without a condom)


Should I go the toilet before anal?!

Thanks!
Alice

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Have you seen thesite factsheet on this?
    http://thesite.org/sexandrelationships/havingsex/styles/analplay
    For anal penetration use extra strong condoms, which will reduce your risk of HIV and other infections and protect the foreskin.

    So whilst you both may be STI free, there is a risk of infection from other nasty bacteria, so could be best to do it with a condom on.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I would second that...

    For the same reason that its best to use dental dams when doing analingus, not because of STDs but because of E. coli, and all kinds of other nastys you can get from fecal matter.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    To answer the question though, it'll leak out. Never really understood bareback, its your rectum, its dirty even if you douche. You can't kill all bacteria up there.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    "what goes up must come down"

    Semen is a fascinating substance - while it quickly sets shortly after production, it then liquefies about half an hour later; if you're up and about it's a slow enough process for it to dry off with your body heat as it comes out, but if you're in bed you'll end up in "the damp patch"

    In general there should be no need to go to the loo before hand - faeces tend not to enter the rectum until they're ready to be delivered, and the internal plumbing tends to keep itself fairly clean (if your stools are excessively loose, or on the other hand cluster like rabbit droppings then this is less likely to be true, you should fix your diet), so you shouldn't need to rinse out before hand -doing so may make things a bit riskier, but on the other hand it can remove a source of worry - so while I'd recommend against, it's whichever you feel more comfortable with.

    remember to use lots of lube.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If your boyfriend washes afterwards it should be OK for him. However remember that once he's penetrated your bum he shouldn't go back into your vagina as it can move nasty bacteria in there.

    As for the cum, it will trickle out afterwards, yes!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    it will come out next time you go to the toilet
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Just to add to what Big Gay said, douching can actually cause more harm than good - it removes the natural mucus and thus dries your rectum out - so even more need for lube and even more risk of a tear, and doing it on a regular basis can increase your risk of inflamation and infection of the rectum and lower bowel.

    Tbh, going to the toilet beforehand should be enough, but I'd STILL use a condom! If you really don't want to then just be prepared for a little leakage...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thanks all.

    My boyfriend wants to do it backbare, and I don't think I mind apart from the cum leaking out issue (he wants to do it at a party, and I'm not too keen on cum leaking out for the rest of the night).
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Something like this should ideally be done in a relaxed and calm environment, especially when doing it for the first time. Is there any particular reason he wants to do it bareback?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thats a bit much for your first time! If it were me i'd want to do it at home, in a bed where you are safe and comfortable and can run to the bathroom if you need to, not at a party where people might walk in and, just to warn you, EVERYONE will find out within half an hour.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    be prepared that you might really hate it. How do you feel about his little fantasy?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Unless you're heavily into the submission thing I'd recommend you say no to this - it puts a whole lot of extra pressure on the situation, which is never good for a first time - at anything.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Big Gay wrote: »
    Unless you're heavily into the submission thing I'd recommend you say no to this - it puts a whole lot of extra pressure on the situation, which is never good for a first time - at anything.

    ^what he said^
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi there aliceg,

    It's important to make sure you are happy with what your boyfriend is asking. Like many have mentioned, the first time doing anal sex should be in a comfortable, and intimate situation - otherwise it could be very painful.

    Have a look at our article on anal play and on the importance of using condoms.

    Perhaps speaking to him about your concerns can help? Sometimes couples have different views of what is unfair in terms of sexual demands - as long as you talk about it and understand each other then there should be nothing to worry about :)

    Do let us know how you get on :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    He says bareback feels better, and we both like the thrill of sex in a semi public place :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Honey it isnt about what feels better its about whats safest for both of you. Honestly if either of you gets an infection from this it wont feel better then!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've never had any trouble doing anal bare back. Well aside from some issues that required an immediate penis washing after.

    Make sure you go to the toilet beforehand. Also I would recommend a practice run before getting into it at the party. At the very least try a couple of fingers. Having a few drinks first helps relax too.
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