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How do people deal with inconsiderate housemates?

2

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well, I don't think it's THAT much darker at 4 than it is at 6.

    And I'm still not sure what your point is - surely you're going to go out somewhere after 4, even if it is dark? You're not going to stay in just because it's dark.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Big Gay wrote: »
    you're asking them to change their routines.

    By asking them to keep their noise down?:confused:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    to be honest melian i know that if i was the one living with you i think i'd find you the unreasonable housemate! you are living in halls with young students and you cant expect a silent flat around 8pm at night, in fact if thats the only noise you're getting i think you are lucky. when iv stayed in halls iv had people coming in at 4am, impromptu parties in the kitchen, doors slamming, every night! (which i didnt mind because i was a student too :p) you cant expect people not to have their friends round and make a bit of noise, university is a massive social experience, yes about studying but also about meeting new people and friends.

    you dont seem very willing to adapt really, to maybe try and make a few changes so that you can study properly so i think your only course of action is to ask if you can change flats, if you think its that bad. i know that sometimes when you're choosing where you want to live (in halls) you can put down if you would like to live with mature students/possibly more quieter people? maybe you could try that.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    heya,
    This has happened to me last year in uni halls. I lived with 6 others and one of them was horrible. It got pretty serious and he got warned by the police for harrassment. Is there anyway that you can lock ur cupboards - i cudn't but if u can do it and then you will feel better. I used to wash up all of the time - i cudn't stand the mess it was disgusting and it absolutely stank and cause i was the nearest to the kitchen i cud smell it so ended up cleaning up alot of the time - although another housemate did as well as he was sick and tired of cleaning up after people although felt it was necessary. i would look into moving out if you can but i found problems with moving out as once a contract has been signed you have to pay the rent until you have found someone else. Unless it is a campus uni and they have different rules. But i was with the company 'unite' last year and that was the rule.

    how are you getting on with them atm?
    xx
    Melian wrote: »
    Urgh.:(

    There's 6 people (including myself) living in one of the uni flats. 2, we never see, me and 3 others. I get on ok with the other 3, but am having serious problems with them and was wondering how to deal with them:

    - someone keeps going through my cupboard (the unlocked one; we also have a locked one) and taking my cups and my sharp knife. He never asks and just leaves them on the side after he's finished with them and never washes them up. I mentioned it and got told to "get over it" and "you sure it wasn't you that left it out?" Er, yes I am. They also think what he's doing is fine.:yeees:

    - I'm the only one who washes up after themselves and puts their dishes away after them. Yesterday, I couldn't wash up proplery because someone had left their dirty dishes in the sink and loads of clean ones on the drainer.

    - They always have people around. I have no problem with this; but they're so noisy. I could hear them on Thursday night with earplugs in, the kitchen door shut and my door shut. This is not uncommon. Ironically, one of the girls who always has people around was whinging because she can't study because of the noise.:rolleyes:

    And they think it's ok to ask ridiculously personal questions - I have a skin problem right now and someone decided to ask (in front of their friends) if I'd changed my washing powder. What the fuck?

    I would love to move out into where a friend is staying; but that's not going to happen now. (he's the only student who lives there and says that he can study during the week; as they're all working)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi

    If it is too noisy to study halls, try using the library or other study rooms.Perhaps need not leave the room to investigate, but if you have more than it would be better for me alone. :) :yippe:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    *sighs* I'm still having problems. They were up until 1am slamming doors adn generally being noisy. Their excuse? It's the end of term. True; but some of us do need to sleep and still have classes to attend and exams to do. (which I missed due to lack of sleep, due to their noise)

    One of the girls (who doesn't even live there) had a go at me and told me that she has more rights than me because she does more for the flat than what I do. When I asked what she meant, she said "I cook and do the washing up", er, yeah only because her "boyfriend" can't be arsed to do it himself.:rolleyes:

    I wasn't even informed that they were having people around - is that too much to ask? I didn't find out until I opened my door to ask them to keep their noise down. (they were screaming and slamming doors)

    When I asked them to keep their noise down (which I did several times) they told me to get lost and lighten up. Just because they want to party, doesn't mean the rest of us have to suffer, does it?:(
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sorry I haven't read the rest of the thread... but... have you tried earplugs? Some actually really work well....

    If I'm away with people who I know are gonna be noisy (snoring!!!) or sleeping somewhere like a boat/tent/caravan I take a pair and they can really help.... it might not block out the really loud slamming of doors, but they can block out the background noise which often prevents you from getting to sleep in the first place.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't think it's necessary for them to tell you every time they're going to have someone round, really. Maybe if they're going to have a party but not just having mates round.

    To me what they're doing sounds like normal student behaviour, nothing over the top. Halls are going to be noisy, it's never that easy to get work done there which is why people have suggested going to alternative places. If the library isn't an option, what about a friend's house or a coursemate's house?

    If it really is that bad, can you see if you can swap? A few people are bound to have dropped out so there should be some spare rooms somewhere.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kat_B wrote: »
    I don't think it's necessary for them to tell you every time they're going to have someone round, really. Maybe if they're going to have a party but not just having mates round.

    They were having a party though. They claimed "we only had people around" but they were being very noisy and they did the same the night before - which I was informed about.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Melian wrote: »
    They were having a party though. They claimed "we only had people around" but they were being very noisy and they did the same the night before - which I was informed about.

    If the occasional slamming of a door and general noise is the worst you have it, then you don't really have a bad housemate, you have a typical student house.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i agree with mist, halls just really isnt for you im guessing :/
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Mist wrote: »
    If the occasional slamming of a door and general noise is the worst you have it, then you don't really have a bad housemate, you have a typical student house.

    It's at least every week. (ie, whenever they go out)

    I can't move now; as it's too late.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Melian wrote: »
    It's at least every week. (ie, whenever they go out)

    That's pretty normal though in my experience. People go out, they get a bit beered up, the volume levels go up. If it were every day or something then that I'd consider a bit unreasonable, and would try to talk to them about it.

    However, what I wouldn't do is try to talk to them about it whilst they are in the middle of doing it, like in a party or after they've come back from a club. That's pointless, they'll not take any notice then. You need to speak to them to them in the cold light of day.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    As I said earlier, I thinka large part of it is compromise, and your housemates don't seem to willing to compromise with you to keep their noise down (or you aren't willing to compromise by putting up with a little noise?). I hate to say I agree largely with Mist that is sounds very typical for a student house and if it is just too much and you can't compromise your only recourse really would be to go and find somewhere else to live. The University would normally hold over a limited number of rooms in case of emergencies so you could go to your accomodation department and say that its just too noisy in your current halls and you would like some quieter ones. They might not be able to find something but at least asking would be better than being stuck somewhere you don't like?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah- I disagree that it's too late to move, people move at all times of the year.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Have you asked about moving? It's definitely not too late. As i said, there will have been people that have dropped out, probably in your halls which means there is a chance you could just move flats.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If I move out, I would have to pay rent on both rooms - I can't afford to do this at all.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Usually university allow you to move within the halls, have you spoken to them about this at all?

    Also, usually you are allowed to break a contract if you find someone who wishes to move into the halls. So, if you find someone to take over your room, they can take over your contract and pay.

    I had to do this when my ex moved out in Sep.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The deadline for being able to break the contract was end of November.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Huh! really? Can't see why uni would do that. Legally, there must be some option.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    bit depressing but tons of people drop out over the christmas break. i would still have a word with someone like your personal tutor about how your accomodation is affecting you. im sure they will take that into consideration.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Huh! really? Can't see why uni would do that. Legally, there must be some option.

    Yeah, I would also have thought that they would not be so strict on it if you are, say moving between accommodation than leaving altogether.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah, if you're just swapping rooms I imagine that'd be fine. As long as it's the same price. After all the room you'd be moving to is obviously empty so it still only leaves one empty room (your old one) so shouldn't affect anything really.

    Just because the deadline to break contracts was Nov doesn't mean it's set in stone. There are always ways around things, you just need to ask.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hey,
    i tried ear plugs and they defo didnt work for me at all - the noise was way too loud. have you spoken to your uni because they have a responsibility to make sure that you are ok with regards to accomodation even if it is a private company. xx
    let us know how u get on?? xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    flower123 wrote: »
    hey,
    i tried ear plugs and they defo didnt work for me at all - the noise was way too loud. have you spoken to your uni because they have a responsibility to make sure that you are ok with regards to accomodation even if it is a private company. xx
    let us know how u get on?? xx

    Eraplugs don't work for me either.

    I have spoke to accommodation about this before and they said "it does say in the contract that when people are studying or sleeping, others have to keep their noise down". (hallmates claim it doesn't say that - I've checked before and it does say that)

    I have emailed them in regards to moving; but haven't heard anything yet.

    My hallmates said because it was the end of term, they can make as much noise as they want - some of us still havew classes to attend and work to do.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Can't you work in the morning and join in with the noise at night?
    Also, if they really are that bad, then how do they get any work and sleep done?
    Just do what they do!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    grace wrote: »
    Can't you work in the morning and join in with the noise at night?

    No I can't. I'm up early for uni 2 days a week and need to sleep.
    Also, if they really are that bad, then how do they get any work and sleep done?

    One of them told me she stays up until around 4am and works. She will then get up at 7.30/8am and go to uni - something my body will not allow me to do.

    They do sometimes go out on a Monday evening - because I don't have uni until 1.30pm on a Tuesday, this doesn't bother me that much. - as long as they're quiet when they come in.

    A lot of my problem is that my disability makes me very tired and means I need more sleep than most people - right now, I'm sleeping for 12+ hours a night. They can't understand this - no matter how much I explain it to them. They are also convinced I'm messing uo my eyesight by wearing my glasses all the time - I have no choice.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Get back on to the accomodation team. There will be free rooms now, or very soon once the people who drop out have officially left. Keep on to them and I'm sure you'll be able to move rooms.

    If it's in the contract that there should be peace and quiet, I would also be tempted to keep reminding the accomodation team of the noise going on, every time they do it. I would be more likely to go down this route after having tried to get my room changed by swapping first though as it might just antagonise the team into not helping you at all.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I agree. Go and see the accommodation people, don't wait for them to reply to an email.

    Also, is there some kind of warning system at the halls? At mine, people were supposed to be given warnings for various things - smoking and drinking where they shouldn't, making too much noise at unreasonable times etc. Actually worked pretty well, although it was only enforced for major things.

    If there is some kind of warning system where you live, that might help? Are there wardens or something?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kat_B wrote: »
    If there is some kind of warning system where you live, that might help? Are there wardens or something?

    I have no idea about the warning system; but we do have wardens. However, they're hardly around after 4pm and at weekends.

    I am back in London on Wednesday, so will see them then if they're around.
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