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How do people deal with inconsiderate housemates?

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Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I have just been told that if I do move, I'll either have to find someone to take over my room (doubt that will happen) or have to pay the rest of the rent. There's no way I can afford to pay the £2300 required and pay rent on another place. I am entitled to local housing allowance; but that doesn't even cover a bedsit. (I'm looking at at least £110 for a room - LHA is only £91)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    are they still being noisey? If so, make a note of their noise, and take the list to the accomodation team again. Tell them you can't afforud to move but want to. Ask them if they can't move you for free, can they enforce their own contractual rules about the noise. Be nice but be forceful, sometimes you have to fight for the things you want and need. It's a pain in the arse but no-one is going to do it for you, particulalry as they won't care. They will care if you start being more persistant though.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Have you been to see anyone in your students' union about this? They should definitely be able to help you.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Student union is a good idea. Plus start taking diary notes of all the disruptions to take into the accommodation people/union.
    I couldn't live like that, feel for you.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kat_B wrote: »
    Have you been to see anyone in your students' union about this? They should definitely be able to help you.

    Not yet and didn't think of them. I'm back at uni tomorrow; so will talk to them when they're open.

    I have just emailed accommodation services and have asked what would happen if I couldn't afford rent on both places (even with LHA) and have explained that it's not just "I don't like my hallmates" and that their noise is seriously affecting my health. I need more sleep than them; which they know but don't understand and don't care about. If they'd decided to make noise on a Monday, Tuesday or Thursday evening, this wouldn't be an issue. (don't have to get up early the next morning)

    I have asked time & time again for a meeting because there are also other issues. (there's someone who just puts his dirty stuff in the sink and leaves his clean/dirty dishes on the draining board. This means I either have to wait until he's cleaned up to do my washing up, or do it in my bedroom)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Could you not just take the dirty dishes out of the sink, put them on the side, do your washing up, then put the dirty dishes back in? That's really not a big problem and one that isn't likely to be taken that seriously.
    However, noise that's affecting your health is more likely to be taken seriously, so go and talk to somebody in the SU and accommodation asap.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I would also follow up emails with personal visits to make sure they know you're serious.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The dishes in the sink thing is pretty easily fixed.

    Get a washing up bowl and put it in the sink, that way if you need to use the sink and it's full of stuff you just lift the washing up bowl out.

    As for swapping rooms, I'm not sure you're quite understanding what's being suggested. It's not that you get a *new* room and keep your old one - but I'm willing to bet that there will be odd empty rooms spread across the hall and with reaonsable justification universities are almost always happy to swap you into one of those empty rooms from your current one. So you keep your current contract and rent commitments, just for a different room in the same uni accomodation.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yes, just swapping rooms, into one that's empty so should be no need to find someone to replace your old room. It should be easy to do.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kat_B wrote: »
    Could you not just take the dirty dishes out of the sink, put them on the side, do your washing up, then put the dirty dishes back in? That's really not a big problem and one that isn't likely to be taken that seriously.
    However, noise that's affecting your health is more likely to be taken seriously, so go and talk to somebody in the SU and accommodation asap.

    There's no room to do that.

    And it gets better and better - someone has pinched some of my food and there's not enough to last, unless I want to live off cerreal and pasta for the next week. So, depsite being snowed in, I HAVE to go out tomorrow and get some food.:(

    Accommodation are still telling me no - I've made it clear that my health and studies is being seriously affected.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm sorry but in my opinion you sound like the nightmare house mate! It's a halls of residence, its supposed to be noisy, lively and full of people socialising! What the hell did you expect?!

    All your nagging is just going to make your housemates hate you, and act like dicks to you more whereas if you were more chilled out about it and hell even joined in once in a while they'd have more respect for you and prehaps be a bit quieter.

    Regards to the food and dishes situation... I don't know one friend who lived in halls last year that didn't have stuff 'borrowed' from then. Yes its fucking annoying but atleast you have one cupboard that locks! Put the most expensive, common things in there and then if you have anything that doesn't walk leave in your other ones. Again its just something you have to deal with in halls.

    To be perfectly honest reading through this thread every suggestion that's been given you've found a crap excuse why it's not possible.

    It sounds like you just like moaning.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    kate- wrote: »
    Regards to the food and dishes situation... I don't know one friend who lived in halls last year that didn't have stuff 'borrowed' from then. Yes its fucking annoying but atleast you have one cupboard that locks! Put the most expensive, common things in there and then if you have anything that doesn't walk leave in your other ones. Again its just something you have to deal with in halls.

    Everything that's been nicked is frozen food; so can't really do that. I do know who it is and know she's only done it (she doesn't even live here) because I had a go at her for deciding to make as much noise as she could when she knew I was sleeping.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Most of us agree that we would probably just accept the housing conditions but, she doesn't and can't accept them, and that's the point- it's making her miserable (regardless of whether it would anybody else).

    Melian, you have to keep taking action. There must be room for a bowl in the sink, when you need to move it, just put it on the floor in front of the door of whoever the messy person is. Go back to the accommodation team again and ask them if you can swap rooms, again, in person.

    People stealing your food is completely out of order. You shouldn't be out of pocket and have to repeat shop because some selfish prick helps themselves to your stuff.

    Do you get up early? Get yourself a horn/trumpet/noisy thing and bleep it repeatedly early in the monring- teach them a lesson. Ok, perhaps don't do this but, I would want to.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    katralla wrote: »
    Do you get up early? Get yourself a horn/trumpet/noisy thing and bleep it repeatedly early in the monring- teach them a lesson. Ok, perhaps don't do this but, I would want to.

    I actually told one of them that when I got up early to catch my train, I would wake her up. She did say she had to get up early. If she didn't; I would've done this.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Next time you wake up in the night for a wee or whatever, knock on her door until she answers, then go back to bed... chuckling to yourself. Karma doesn't exist so sometime syou just have to take your own revenge. (I'm not realy advocating such things, but ti would be funny)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Melian wrote: »
    I actually told one of them that when I got up early to catch my train, I would wake her up. She did say she had to get up early. If she didn't; I would've done this.

    melian you sound like a very difficult person to live with :/
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    like katrella says you really do need to be persistant with the accomodation office at uni. also like someone else said- make a note of everything that is happening including dates. they must be able to sort you out with another room or start taking disciplinary action against your housemates.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    katralla wrote: »
    Next time you wake up in the night for a wee or whatever, knock on her door until she answers, then go back to bed... chuckling to yourself. Karma doesn't exist so sometime syou just have to take your own revenge. (I'm not realy advocating such things, but ti would be funny)

    She's usually awake then texting her boyfriend.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I see no reason why they would say no to you swapping rooms. There are bound to be spare rooms so it should be no problem.
    As it is, go and talk to your SU officers, they'll be able to help you.
    Is there a student advice service? Go and talk to them too.
    And what about a personal tutor? Ask them about it as well.
    Who exactly have you spoken to in accommodation yet? Have you seen them in person? Try asking for the manager or something.
    And if it's affecting your health, can you get a note from the doctor or something? That might make them take more notice.

    As for the washing up, of course there's room. If there are dirty things in there when you want to wash them, take them out and put them somewhere. Anywhere - the side, a table, the floor. Do your washing up and then put the dirty dishes back in the sink. That shouldnt be a maor problem.

    And as for the food, do you label everything? That might help? Or take food from whoever took yours? Not the best way to go about things, but still.

    I think it might also help if you tried to join in with your flat mates more. Even if you don't want to go out, you could have a drink in the flat with them or something. Or just sit and join in the conversation. Doing that sort of thing might make them more likely to do what you want.

    In some ways though I do think you're expecting too much of people. Even if you do move flats, the people there will probably still go out a couple of nights a week, and no doubt make some noise. I imagine they might also leave their washing up in the sink for a while and not be as clean as you'd want. That's how most students live in the first year, in my experience. Next year you'll be able to choose who you live with, so that should be better for you. I know so many people who hated who they lived with in first year, but they got through it by spending time with the people they had made friends with, and for the most part ignoring the noise etc. It's not easy, but I don't think you're going to find anywhere that does everything you want.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kat_B wrote: »
    Even if you do move flats, the people there will probably still go out a couple of nights a week, and no doubt make some noise. I imagine they might also leave their washing up in the sink for a while and not be as clean as you'd want. That's how most students live in the first year, in my experience.

    This is so true. Nothing in this thread is anything that I didn't experience at uni myself, not to mention my friends (some had hellish flatmates - luckily mine were comparatively good).

    You may find that you move somewhere where the behaviour is so much worse!

    Fact of the matter is that you are unlikely to end up living with people who do things the exact same way as you, and that doesn't mean that they are inconsiderate. It's just all about compromise. They might not be allowing for your lifestyle, but you're not exactly allowing for theirs either!

    Stuff like food stealing isn't on (although it happens everywhere - we have food stealers working in our office), but late nights and sinks full of washing up are just par for the course. I highly doubt they're making a lot of noise for the express purpose of waking you up. They're just having fun, and probably themselves get woken up by other people at other times, and know it's annoying, but just deal.

    If you really want to move, then you should take katralla's advice and nagnagnag until you get somewhere, but to be totally honest I suspect you'll have similar problems wherever you move.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kat_B wrote: »
    And as for the food, do you label everything? That might help? Or take food from whoever took yours? Not the best way to go about things, but still.

    Yeah. All my food is labelled. Haven't done what I brought up yesterday yet though. I can't take food from the person who took mine - she doesn't live here.
    I think it might also help if you tried to join in with your flat mates more. Even if you don't want to go out, you could have a drink in the flat with them or something. Or just sit and join in the conversation. Doing that sort of thing might make them more likely to do what you want.

    I've been out with them once and do normally sit in the kitchen and talk to them. However, they usually go out on a Monday or Wednesday evening. On a Monday (not any more, thankfully!) I would've just got home and just want to eat and then go to bed. I'm up early on a Thursday morning; so don't really want to be up drinking with them.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Olive wrote: »
    probably themselves get woken up by other people at other times, and know it's annoying, but just deal.

    Yeah, they've mentioned a few times that they've heard someone having very noisy sex (she's moved out since then - she had problems with being burgaled) and someone else banging early in the morning and have asked if I've heard this - I haven't. Apparently they can also hear the people above them (I can't) going toilet and stuff.:eek2:

    Thankfully, they're quiet when they come in from a night out - I've heard them twice.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If this other girl has moved out and isn't paying for two rooms, then badger the office until you can, if it is causing you health problems.

    As for the food stealing, not that i am suggesting you do this of course but some laxatives on the first bit off food in a packet that you know she's stolen off of before might teach someone to not steal food or at least amuse you.

    Like others have said, everyone has same probs at halls, and just seems like you're expecting them to fit in with what you want with no give the other way.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    As for the food stealing, not that i am suggesting you do this of course but some laxatives on the first bit off food in a packet that you know she's stolen off of before might teach someone to not steal food or at least amuse you.

    I do have laxatives somewhere (not for this purpose mind!) and someone did say they were planning on doing this. I got a very strange look when I said I had some.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You don't actually have to put laxatives in your food. That would be stupid and more a waste of the food than as if someone else had nicked it.

    All you do is make it obvious that that's what you're going to do. If any of your food might have laxatives in it, people are less likely to chance it. Though I would say that doing any of this doesn't fix the problem.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Melian wrote: »

    I would've just got home and just want to eat and then go to bed. I'm up early on a Thursday morning; so don't really want to be up drinking with them.

    You dont actually have to drink. Stick to soft drinks.
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