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Anal Sex question...
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hey
This is going to sound a bit random so apologies in advance.
Basically my Ex wants us to become Fuck buddies (i hate that term so any ideas for another would be also appreciated) and as when we were together we tried anal sex he wants it as a regular thing but what worries me is that ive heard some rumours of things that can go wrong and that a lot of damage can be caused and as im not that experienced in this way (and i don't think he is either) i was wondering if anyone could tell me whether they know of anything that can go wrong during anal sex.
anyway any contributions would be appreciated
thanks
x
This is going to sound a bit random so apologies in advance.
Basically my Ex wants us to become Fuck buddies (i hate that term so any ideas for another would be also appreciated) and as when we were together we tried anal sex he wants it as a regular thing but what worries me is that ive heard some rumours of things that can go wrong and that a lot of damage can be caused and as im not that experienced in this way (and i don't think he is either) i was wondering if anyone could tell me whether they know of anything that can go wrong during anal sex.
anyway any contributions would be appreciated
thanks
x
0
Comments
When it comes down to it, I think optimum conditions for anal sex are in a comfortable environment where there's plenty of lube and someone you feel safe with. In all honesty, I don't know if that would include doing it with my ex on a fairly regular, casual basis.
Have you thought of the psychological issues of having your ex as a fuck buddy? Of course I don't know for sure, but it sounds like he wants to fuck you - but without the commitment. The fact that you have agreed sounds as if you still have feelings for him? I would say that if you need/want a fuck buddy, a neutral partner would be better.
As far as the act is concerend, lots of lube and taking it slow is good advice. He should start by fingering you up the ass with one, then two fingers etc until you feel confident enough to take his length and girth. If you don't like the idea of his 'naked' fingers up there, he should wear a pair of latex gloves and use lots of lube. This will reduce friction too and make the penetration more comfortable.
I prefer FB to fuck buddy. Same thing, shorter and less crude though. Though you could argue that it sounds like facebook.
Lack of knowledge in the Middle East where even talking about heterosexual sex is taboo, could lead to more instances of prolapsed rectums etc. However, informed opinion is that, as you say, lots of lube and taking things slowly should not be harmful in most cases. In fact, if anal sex was so 'bad' for the body, the hospitals would be full of ailing homosexuals.
http://www.caitlainscorner.com/content/view/312/70/[/QUOTE]
Nice, looks like a useful, very legit website.
Thanks for the advice. Yeah probably shouldnt be doing this with him but missing sex so bad at the moment. Also was wondering should I be getting him to wear a condom when we do anal sex as when we did it before he inisited we didnt need to as obviously i cant pregnant but otherwise was unsure.
Pregnancy is one of the nicer things you can get from unprotected sex.
he says that he loses his erection when he wears one-we never used one when we were together cos he didnt like them
LMAO - that's got to be one of the oldest bullshit excuses in the book. Perhaps he doesn't know how to put one on? I think it's time he learned.
:yes:
He's taking the piss, love.
Its psychological. If people made him wear a condom then he wouldnt even think about it. That is the way people spread STDs around. How would you fancy that?
He needs to start concentrating on the sex he can have, rather than try and push you into unsafe behaviour and wishing for the sex he cant have
Why?
Are you doing him a favour by letting him have sex with you?
Well its your choice, but its also your responsibility to not spread diseases around.
If youre so monogamous together, why are you calling it fuck buddies?
Is it the "feeling wanted" bit about sex, because it sounds like he doesnt give much of a shit tbh
You shouldn't be scared about crossing him, for starters he's not your boyfriend anymore and doesn't own you. He's the one who came to you to ask to be fuck buddies! So you lay down the rules. Gotta wear a condom!
i am kind of still under his control-know everyone is going to slate me now cos i should back away from him but not so easy sorry just feel kind of controlled by him and he's controlled me before
sorry
You havent got to be sorry
We're not having a go, we just don't want you to come back in a few weeks time, having done it without a condom, with other problems.
You shouldn't be with somebody you feel controlled by - especially when you're not even with them!
I'd end this now, and make a clean break.
its not that easy
sorry
Sounds like there is something much deeper here. My opinion is that you are now lining yourself up for a major fall.
Sorry.
Its yourself whos going to be hurt here, not us.
Youre the one who asked for advice
This is NOT healthy, and it sounds like you are heading for even great heartbreak, at best.
Unless you live in fear of him, it isn't that complicated.
And we are not having a go at you, honey. We just don't want to see you on Jeremy Kyle.
sorry
To be fair, he does kinda have a point. I sometimes 'lose it' as soon as a condom goes on and unless they are very thin/sensitive ones, I can't feel much.
Although I'll make it clear that does not excuse someone from wearing one.
Nope. He doesn't have a point. It's one thing for a committed partner not to wear one but some ex who just wants to fuck around, there is no excuse.
Hun, are you scared of what he will do to you physically if you don't comply? He has no right to scare you in any way. Please explain further what you mean. *hugs*