fancy dress

BillieTheBot

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Former Member

He's made his feelings clear, fair enough, but the whole 'sat at home worrying' is taking a it a bit too far, and smells a tad manipulative to me.

If you get male attention, so what? You're attractive and trustworthy, it's not like you're going to do anything. It's your birthday anyway, you're bound to get loads of attention, it's part of the fun of being a birthday girl!

How are you going to be dressing up? If it's anything like what Jodie Marsh wore for her 30th, then I'd understand his concerns

Former Member

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Former Member

Ok from a guys perspective its hard thinking about your girlfriend looking sexy around a load of randy drunken lads.....like cringe!!

It would affect me too but havin said that its also life and its there 2 be enjoyed.

So id probably feel the same as him but would never stop my gf

Former Member

He has told me dressing up like that is asking for attention though

Well yes, but what's the harm in that? You'll be safe in the company of your friends and having fun. Has anything bad ever happened when you've dressed up before? Doesn't sound like it since it sounds like you're really looking forward to it this time. And so what if he knows other people find you attractive? Keeps him on his toes surely?

If it's the outfit choice that's bothering him and the fact that he bought it for his eyes only, is there something else you could go as?

Bunnie

go_away wrote: »

If it's the outfit choice that's bothering him and the fact that he bought it for his eyes only, is there something else you could go as?

exactly what I was thinking!

If he isnt happy then perhaps compromise.

However, I can sort of see where he is coming from, if he is insecure and this makes him feel uncomfortable, you should take his feelings into account.

Nothing is stopping you from going out dressed up in an outfit, that would not normally be seen as sexy.

Former Member

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Bunnie

blah blah blah wrote: »

Not really because I really wanna wear that. I look hot in it, lol. Plus, I can't afford to buy a new outfit myself.

You can always make one.

You saying you look hot in it worries me too. I agree we should all try to look our best, but if your fella has made it clear he is uncomfortable with it then surely you respect him enough to not go out in an outfit he doesnt want you to wear coz he has bought it for the bedroom, and you go around saying you look hot in it. He is bound to worry.

Sorry if this sounds really anti-feminist, but it just seems a little unfair on your fella, and makes me think you aren't really that bothered about his feelings.

Former Member

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littlemissy

Bunnie wrote: »

You can always make one.

You saying you look hot in it worries me too. I agree we should all try to look our best, but if your fella has made it clear he is uncomfortable with it then surely you respect him enough to not go out in an outfit he doesnt want you to wear coz he has bought it for the bedroom, and you go around saying you look hot in it. He is bound to worry.

Sorry if this sounds really anti-feminist, but it just seems a little unfair on your fella, and makes me think you aren't really that bothered about his feelings.

+1

This post says it all, IMHO.

Former Member

I have to be honest here I think I agree with your bloke. There are 3 cases that I can think of for wearing things like the sexy maid outfit and things like that

1. For your own pleasure within the bedroom.
2. For the purpose of attending a hen night.
3. To go out on the pull.

"Your birthday" just doesn't fit with those categories. I'd find it a bit strange that you want to wear it really, and I would have to question why.

Former Member

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Former Member

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Bunnie

blah blah blah wrote: »

well im just weird and selfish then aren't i?

for the record, its just to have a bit of fun with my friends. its what ive done every year for my birthday since i was 18 and its what all my friends do.

but whatever. sigh. im just a weirdo...

If you re-read the posts noone has called you a weirdo. This is our opinions, and you asked for them, which is what you got. I am sorry if you don't like it, but tough.

Former Member

I'd do it and wear it!

It's your birthday not his! Would you stop him from doing something he wanted to do?

He can't make up your mind for you and tell you what to do, so what if he makes you feel a bit guilty about it, he'll get over it! If my bf had a problem with it I still wear i, but then again I am stubborn! I went out dressed in nearly my underwear as a moulin rouge girl and he didn't complain about that. Your outfit doesn't even sound bad and you're wearing tights with it!

He should trust you enough to let you go out dressed up IMO.

Former Member

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Former Member

Do you know what though I doubt he would be...to me it just sounds like he is over reacting.

But if you don't go as you planned he will realise that if he makes you feel like this in the future then you will change your plans because he doesn't like them or feels comfortable with them.

Are you now not going out at all or just not in fancy dress?

Former Member

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Former Member

agree! piecesofme

girls really need to learn how to consider guys feeling with things like this cuz it is big to them as it would be to me but i dont think any guy has the right to stop their gf from fancy dress even if it is tarty. trust has to come in 2 play.

If it was up 2 me id wrap my gf up in cotton wool but theres laws against that lol so i just deal with the thing thats called LIFE!

Former Member

blah blah blah wrote: »

I'm still going out with my friends.

I've cancelled all plans for fancy dress though.

My friends are giving me loads of shit saying I'm under the thumb, etc as like I say, I always dress up. Even when I've had a boyfriend.

I don't dress up for the attention. I just dress up to have a laugh with my friends. Plus, we get in places for free and get free bottles of bubbly when we do It just makes it fun

Mrniceguy is right it's life and he will just have to put up with the fact this is what you and your friends do!

If this was one of my friends I would think the same as your's, that ther are under the thumb.

I don't understand why he has made such a fuss about it.

Former Member

You say you've always dressed up but does that mean that you carry on dressing up every year? When do you stop dressing up? What's a good age for that?

I don't think this has anything to do with trust. You can trust someone 100% and still not think it's a great idea for them to go out dressed up in a French Maid's outfit or whatever.

Former Member

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Former Member

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Former Member

blah blah blah wrote: »

i dont either

ive got to respect his feelings though. i wont enjoy my night out knowing he isn't happy about it. i just wont.

i cant not go out in fancy dress for my friends birthday next month though as ill be only one dressed normally

Surely he can't pull a face at that, it's your friends birthday and you want to help her celebrate!

And Mist...I'll be going out in fancy dress when I'm 50 so it never time to stop

Former Member

Pshhh. I dunno, I'd wear what I want, it's your birthday and you're young.

Former Member

Christ some of the stuff I've dressed up in on a night out and I don't even have fancy dress or special occassion as an excuse

Former Member

Bit late now as it seems you've already made a decision but i'll throw my opinion in anyway..Just wear whatever you like. In the past I would have taken the side of your bf and but having been at university for the past two years i can say that practically every night out ive had at uni there have been girls walking round in next to nothing and nobody bats an eyelid really. They might get checked out or hit on a bit more because of how they're dressed but it doesnt affect the behaviour of the person, a cheat will still cheat whether they're wearing a bikini or a suit of armor and a..err..non cheat, will..um..well, not cheat.
I can see why you dressing up would upset your boyfriend however you might as well make the most of what you have while you have it!

Former Member

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Former Member

thinking about it, i would probably ditch the outfit and respect his wishes..but I would be wary if he tried to do anything like that again

Former Member

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Former Member

blah blah blah wrote: »

well ive already ditched the idea. ive told my friends that the fancy dress plans are cancelled.

thing is, my friend has asked me to go to her birthday next month. she is one of my best friends. this night out is fancy dress. i HAVE to go fancy dress and i just know now, im just gonna feel really guilty.

I didnt realise he had a problem with the entire idea of fancy dress. Just go as a cow girl or something, your normal clubbing clothes plus a hat