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fancy dress

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I didnt realise he had a problem with the entire idea of fancy dress. Just go as a cow girl or something, your normal clubbing clothes plus a hat

    Or a nun...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If it was me I would suggest a compromise and agree to not wear something you might wear in the bedroom with him but still dress up as something else. I think that is very fair. I'm sure all guys worry when their girlfriend goes out without them and it sounds like he is just overreacting. Just stick to your guns that you're going to dress up and reassure him you don't care about attention from other lads, you'll be going home to him after all.

    I agree with piecesofme - if you cancel now then he will learn he can always get his own way by making you feel bad
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i think i'd find it kind of odd wearing something i'd wear in the bedroom on a night out... but that doesn't mean you shouldn't dress up at all. choose something different and that way, while your boyfriend probably still wont be entirely happy he should at least be pleased you've listened to his concerns and compromised and you can still enjoy yourself.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I didnt realise he had a problem with the entire idea of fancy dress.

    I'd imagine it's not fancy dress as a concept that bothers him, but that fact that very few girls can do fancy dress without trying to make it into sexy dress. When was the last time you saw a group of girls dressed up like this ?:

    fancy-dress.jpg

    It's all very well saying you can go as 80s girls or cowgirls or whatever, but if you're thinking sexy 80s girls or sexy cowgirls then his problem still remains the same.

    I think he probably is overreacting a bit, but I asked hub if he'd be ok with me going out in fancy dress, and he was similarly concerned (well, at first he said 'of course!' cause I am actually most likely to go out as a giant bear, but once we established that the fancy dress involved what was basically a sex outfit, the answer changed to 'god, yes').
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think you should still go with the fancy dress! At the end of the day it is great to dress up sometimes, wear something *you* feel sexy and you feel you look good in, and something a bit different. I'm sorry but you said you look hot in it and to me that isn't a "worrying" thing as some other people have said, it just means you feel happy, sexy and confident wearing it - and it is good to feel that way about yourself.

    Of course lecherous men will still perv at you but that doesn't mean you're dressing that way to get them to perv, and your boyfriend needs to understand that. Some man or other will pretty much come on to you regardless of what you're wearing or what you look like and, in my opinion, your boyfriend should be proud to have a girlfriend who looks cute and sexy that other men may want but CAN'T HAVE. If your boyfriend feels this way because he has insecurities then I do not think you just need to "respect his insecurities" but rather tackle the insecurities themselves; the solution is not to pander to them.

    You do need to take his feelings on board, but if he has a problem with all remotely sexy fancy dress then clearly the issue is not just about the fact it is an outfit he bought you for the bedroom. It just seems dangerously close to me to him telling you he doesn't want you doing anything/wear anything that will even remotely attract other men, e.g. showing clevage or legs or whatever; where does he draw the line?

    Ultimately I just think it is okay to look and feel sexy when you go out, and respect your boyfriends feelings but if he is the type of person who just doesn't like the idea of his girlfriend looking good around other men then I doubt the issue is limited to fancy dress.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I agree with Lipsy's post. Maybe wearing the bedroom costume is a little close for comfort so for your friend's birthday settle on another costume. At the end of the day fancy dress is not an excuse for us all to make ourselves sexy, well round this neck of the woods it's not, it's an excuse for a laugh and to look like prats. This is from the lass who went head to toe in pink panther costume :flirt: I just see fancy dress as harmless fun. Just because you put on a costume doesn't mean you're automatically on the pull for the other sex or a slapper.
    I think you should respect his opinion but also like firefly says, i get the feeling that underneath he's got some insecure tendancies about men fancying his girlfriend so i guess if you go out in a skirt clubbing he'll probably have a problem with this too. It's one thing reaching a compromise but another thing giving in to him completely. I wouldn't do this to a partner and wouldn't expect it back. Being able to talk about it is good and being respectful but don't lose part of who you are in the process.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    To be frank "I trust you, but I don't trust other people" or "I trust you, but you'll just be looking for attention, which I don't want you getting" is generally another way for somebody to say "I don't fully trust you", without them actually saying it. :yeees:

    The whole idea of dressing up is to have a laugh, and perhaps engage in a little escapism. It doesn't instantly indicate that you're out to misbehave. I do feel he is being very unfair, especially seeing as you're fine with him doing what he likes (including strip clubs), but you're just going to have to work out how to play it. I certainly wouldn't cancel all dressing up plans, but that's just me, as there is no way I would give something up completely - there has to be compromise.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've seen pics of your dressing sexy on a night out in your normal clothes. I don't see a difference really. From what you've described you're hardly showing much flesh.
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