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Relationship without sex

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
Just wondered if you can be with someone who you love and never have sex with them.

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  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You can be with someone you love and never have a sexual relationship with them, but whether you have a proper relationship is a different thing.

    If you don't have a sexual relationship then you're just friends. You can't be legally married without having sex.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kermit wrote: »
    If you don't have a sexual relationship then you're just friends. You can't be legally married without having sex.

    I understand that you can have a marriage annulled because of lack of conjugal rights - but is it 'illegal' if both parties agree?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years and we havent had sex in almost a year.

    not my choice but i love him all the same, i would still say we have a relationship though.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    nunulka wrote: »
    Just wondered if you can be with someone who you love and never have sex with them.

    Why do you ask, as a matter of interest?

    In my opinion, part of a relationship is the touching, kissing and cuddling which, in itself, often leads to more. Would a non-sexual but committed relationship stop at holding hands?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Dinted wrote: »
    I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years and we havent had sex in almost a year.

    not my choice but i love him all the same, i would still say we have a relationship though.

    Is it for any reason? Or is he just not interested in sex at all?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You probably can, but I know I couldn't have a relationship without any sex.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I could have a relationship with someone without sex in the beginning but eventually I'd like sex to be part of the relationship.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I was with an ex for 5 years and we didn't have sex. I would still say that was a relationship.

    I wouldn't do that again though. It was my first real relationship and I didn't know any better. You do miss out on a lot of emotional closeness by not having sex.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I presume that you kissed and cuddled though?

    You don't need to have sex to have a sexual relationship and a lot of younger couples probably won't have full sex.

    Most couples will go through a drought where they don't have sex with each other, but really if you stop having a sexual relationship completely (and that includes kissing and cuddling) then you're just friends. Being friends is a very important part of a good relationship, but there does need to be more than friendship.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Teagan wrote: »
    Is it for any reason? Or is he just not interested in sex at all?
    He finds me attractive but he doesn't feel like having sex.

    Well without trying to make excuses for him because i would have sex with him right now given the chance, there are many reasons, mainly he is having trust issues which we are trying to resolve, he is very stressed from his job and works away a lot.

    Coping with it is really hard, but what will be will be
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Dinted wrote: »
    He finds me attractive but he doesn't feel like having sex.

    Well without trying to make excuses for him because i would have sex with him right now given the chance, there are many reasons, mainly he is having trust issues which we are trying to resolve, he is very stressed from his job and works away a lot.

    Coping with it is really hard, but what will be will be
    That would drive me insane!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    In the same boat, no solutions here :yippe: also related to stress and anxiety. Just trying to be the supportive partner until things get better, and the friendship side is good so I can cope. Just the drive gets difficult, but there are ways of dealing with that too.

    There's a lot of love and care going both ways, but the greatest fear would be having a life together without sex. Don't think we're at the life together stage yet though, so it's all dandy.
  • littlemissylittlemissy knit chick Posts: 9,972
    xsazx wrote: »
    And what's with you can't get married without having sex?? ever hear of religions that despise premarital sex? And funnily enough I do intend on being married in a church thus still a virgin thanks

    That's not what was said, though. The point is, you can get your wedding annulled (rather than divorced) if you have not had sex - it is a valid and accepted reason for an annulment.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'd be surprised if thesite has a readymade article about that...
  • littlemissylittlemissy knit chick Posts: 9,972
    xsazx wrote: »
    I quote :

    Yes. That is right. It mentions nothing about the premarital sex that you mentioned in your post.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    No, you must have sex AFTER you are married in order for it to be legal. The marriage must be consumated, regardless of premarital or not having premarital sex.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    xsazx wrote: »
    but infers surely in order to be married, you must have had sex???

    No, I didnt read it like that. I read it as you can legally annul a marriage if its never consumated.

    of couse if neither party want to annul it for that reason, its still a legal marriage, but if one person is not happy with it and the other person just never ever wants sex, then theyre perfectly within their right to say it was never a marriage in the first place.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yes you can have a relationship without sex, but in many cases one person will feel frustrated and as though their needs aren't being met.

    But there are examples of disabled people, older people, asexual people who have no interest in having sex, or even people who don't have working sexual organs, who have fulfilling relationships without sex being a part of it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    xsazx wrote: »
    And what's with you can't get married without having sex?? ever hear of religions that despise premarital sex?

    A marriage is not legally binding if it is not consummated, i.e. if you have not had sex. That is why a marriage that has not been consummated is annulled, rather than divorced- it is treated as though it never existed, because legally it didn't.

    A marriage is also not religiously binding if you don't have sex. My wedding vows in a CoE wedding including vowing to produce children. The Catholic Church recognises annullment for marriages that were not consummated.
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