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I just wonder how those in age-gap relationships managed to tell their family, friends, nearest and dearest!!
It does completely depend on the two people involved and as already mentioned some work and some don't - i'm lucky that my husband has the mental age of a 4 year old so it is actually more of a 20 year mental age gap with me being the mature one!
Regarding my parents, I have been seeing older guys since I was about 15 so it is nothing new, although this is the biggest age gap. I think as long as you are happy and are being treated right then noone should have a problem!
But I think people often seem to pick older/younger people because they think it's a bit cool. Like it's more about the age they are that how good you are together. Especially when people say 'I could never go out with someone my own age' (usually because they're SO MATURE for their age, and no one understands them :chin: ).
Anyhoo, yeah. Not my thing at all. My blokie is 2 years older than me, and that suits just fine.
id co-sign that,he is jomery aint he?
:yes:
Unless there is more than one high flying city type, with so much free time they spend all day trolling on a message board.
Yes, I know Jomery - it was him who introduced me to this site, and yes we are both London "high-flying" graduates, like another 100,000+ people. That is the only thing we have in common. I'm from a comprehensive school and fairly humble upbringing, he's from a top public school. I've slept with double-figures, he's a virgin. I work for an investment bank, he's a management consultant. I'm mixed race, he's anglo-saxon, the list goes on.
but yes if a mod can confirm either way that would be great because every time you post something personal (not so much your P&D stuff to be fair) I get this overwhelming sense that you are lying. If the mods say you are different then fine, I'll leave it but it does seem really suspicious and I'm sure you can see why, being Oxbridge educated and all, even if it was in middle english or something.
split personality disorder.
What gives it away, is the fact you always have to talk about yourself. You cant contribute to a thread without derailing it to remind us how much you earn, how great your job is or how stunning your girls are.
You might have a lot of things but one thing you aint got- and thats a real life.
For some reason I can't really get my head around age gaps that are more than 10 or so years. Maybe cos the bigger the age gap the less you could have in common in a way. But everyone is different and there doesn't seem to be a set reason for a relationship to be successful or not; so each to their own.
My mum's friend is 58 and married to a man who has just turned 70 (they've been together since she was in her late teens) and they are still very happy and in love... But personally I look at them and think I'd find it hard if I was 58 and my husband was 70. But I think there are certain times in life that ages are more pronounced somehow. 20-32 seems less of a gap than 58-70. Or is that just me?
On the subject... Once a 50 year old asked me out and gave me his number (via making me a compilation tape which included 'Lucy in the sky with Diamonds') and that completly freaked me out... but then he did follow me down the street to give it to me. Making me shudder just thinking about it.
But there is a difference between someone getting off with the idea of an age gap; and someone who doesn't see the age, just the person.
what would really convince me that your not jomery is if you log on as jomery and tell me you aint him.
Along with the three/four other accounts he had.
Richardo - People will assume you are Jomery as the posting styles/content is quite similar.
BUT this is totally off topic and we'll get told off
Anyway I give up, ciao ciao.
OK - while there are similarities in Jomery's and Ricardo's posts and they clearly have similar backgrounds, there are also plenty of differences. We can confirm they have different IP addresses and so now can we drop the issue.
Personally I'd have my doubts if there is a 4 year age gap, if the partners are around 16 and 20, but I recently met a 17 year old girl I totally thought she was 20something. Not only was she quite tall, but good-mannered, nice, had a good sense of humour, but very mature as well. It was quite surprising, really.
One of my best friends, who is quite of a lady-getter is going out now with a 18-year old and he's turning 22 in one month. Nobody ever gave him "stick", because of that. I think age gap matters less and less when you are full age/adult. Like I could see me in 3 years (would be 24) going out with a 20 year old woman, but not when I was 20 with a 16 year old giggling school-girl that live revolves around her make-up, SiLlY aLtErNaTe WrItInG sTyLe iN mSn, or the colour pink.
My last not-really relationship (maybe relationship for a week) was with a 27 year old woman (when I was 20) and it went quite well, until things were falling apart (but that's a whole different, non-age-related story).
As for other examples regarding me, was when I had a few thoughts of being with a 15 year old when I was 19 (which I really put into doubt, and let it in the end. Hardly knew her, and it probably would have sucked anyway), and right now I am really getting along well, with a girl one year and a few months older than me.
Well, all I can really give you are stories of my experience of age-gap things. As a very rough rule of thumb I'd say, max. 2-3 years in the age of ~13 and max 20 years absolute max, but I personally know a number of couples who came together with - let's say - eye-brow-raising age gaps, but if they came together NOW in their age (and they are all still together), nobody would give a crap.
About the giving friends shit. I do not care about my friends relationships as long as both parties are happy. Even if it shouldn't be of my concern I tend to get involved when major fuck-ups are taking place. They can always have my honest opinion (too young, does not suit you, too bitchy,...) when they want, but I would never give them shit about their choice in partner.
/e: oh and @ Ricardo:
Or Jomery does not matter which one, I can gather, that you think of other people on here as plebeians, silly inbreds, or paupers with no prospects or any way to gain prestige, power and money at any rate in their life, but one day you will realize that you are empty and cold, because you dislike your partner, since you chose her as a figure-head for society, after nobody really gives a crap anymore. You don't have friends! You have superficial assfaces who accept you as long as you fit in. They ridiculed you and still do it, because of your partner. Do NOT, EVER, expect any help of them when you are knee-deep in shit one day.
have a nice day
a guy going out with a 16 year old is wrong imo if he is above 19, but then 17 to 21 is just about doable. i know its not as black and white as that, but i come back to the point of 'why can this man not form a relationship with someone his own age?'
people hate to hear it but the younger you are, you ARE naiive in some ways and you DO lack life experience. its not an insult its just a fact. many people would argue the whole "look at me, i'm so mature, my boyfriend is 25" attitude is actually pretty naiive.
34-50 years.
19-35 years.
If I remember correctly last time I fell for a girl, I did not ask for her ID to make sure she is near my age. Sometimes it just happens that you develop feelings for a younger person, sometimes an older person.
true.
As far as I observed the whole "I don't date anyone who isn't 4 years older than me."-girls are of the superficial, uninteresting and immature themselves. I usually do not even take notice, it's a waste of time (even if I'd be 4 years older)
19-35.
No problem at all with 34-50 in the slightest.
But most of those age gaps were nothing! I was 18 when I met my boyfriend, who was just about to turn 22 (his birthday's in April and mine's in July, so we're actually not much more than 3 years different) and I don't think anyone 'ripped him to shreds' about it, bar maybe a couple of jokes about cradle snatching right at the beginning, and that was hardly serious. If your mates can't cope with minor age gaps like that they must be incredibly closed minded.
That doesn't mean you can't still share those life experiences, support each other through them etc. I've only ever been out with 1 person the same age as me. 2 who've been younger and the rest have all ranged from 4 - 14 years older than me and only in one of those relationships did being at different stages make a difference - that was one of the younger guys, who was stressing about how much work he had during his penultimate year at university when I was in my final year and I got pissed off that he put everything on me and didn't even consider the pressure I was under to get everything done.
My current fella on the otherhand has never graduated, but he was the best rock I could ever have had during my finals (before and after we got together), he helped me through in every way possible and will always do with everything I encounter in life. It's called wanting to always look after the person you care about and going out of your way to understand the pressures - age and personal experience help you do that but they aren't necessary to be able to do it well.
In actual fact I think I even preferred the fact that he wasn't at the same stage in life as me...2 people being stressed in a relationship puts far more pressure on the relationship than 1.
Exactly. Personally, I have my limits on the age of the person I'd go out wit and don't really care what others think.
I don't either; happens far too much though.