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Lads - how much do you show off 'getting lucky'?

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kermit wrote: »
    I think its sad when people try and do things to impress other people. If you get off with someone it should be because you want to get off with them (even if it is a short-lived thing), not to score points with your mates.

    :yes:

    I've never known/understood anyone who would/has done this
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ricardo R wrote: »
    No, what is there to show off if they're ugly?!

    But everyone has different views on beauty. Someone you and you friends might think is ugly might be the most stunning person every to someone else.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    But everyone has different views on beauty. Someone you and you friends might think is ugly might be the most stunning person every to someone else.
    Really?? We normally share the same consensus on whether someone's hot or not. When discussing girls it'll always be the same names guys agree on are the hottest.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kermit wrote: »

    I think its sad when people try and do things to impress other people. If you get off with someone it should be because you want to get off with them (even if it is a short-lived thing), not to score points with your mates.

    :yes:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    A bit off-topic but on the same theme... how much do you feel the need to 'stand out from the crowd' or not? I always try and be a bit different, ie original with clothing, have cool exciting jobs, do interesting things etc.. primarily because I don't want to be ordinary, another generic guy with little 'value-add' to differentiate themselves from all the other guys out there. Another case perhaps of me doing things to impress other people but I wouldn't be content with myself if I was regarded as boring / nothing special / an Average Joe.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ricardo R wrote: »
    A bit off-topic but on the same theme... how much do you feel the need to 'stand out from the crowd' or not? I always try and be a bit different, ie original with clothing, have cool exciting jobs, do interesting things etc.. primarily because I don't want to be ordinary, another generic guy with little 'value-add' to differentiate themselves from all the other guys out there. Another case perhaps of me doing things to impress other people but I wouldn't be content with myself if I was regarded as boring / nothing special / an Average Joe.

    i always feel the need to be different. If you look the same as everyone else, why would the girls be attracted to you? If youre different and you stand out, youre going to be more noticed.

    All my friends are into the 'wear this cos its fashionable'. I see it as 'wear this so you'll look the same as everyone else'.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I am what I am to quote Popeye.

    I don't try and make myself stand out from the crowd, I don't try and do things to make myself 'unique' to attract women...I just live my life as I want to. And I still stand out.

    Because I'm ace :o

    Trying to stand out just seems insecure to me *shrugs*
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't try and make myself stand out from the crowd, I don't try and do things to make myself 'unique' to attract women...I just live my life as I want to. And I still stand out.

    :yes:

    I dont feel any need to be 'unique'. Maybe because I realise that people like me for me, not for trying to be someone I'm not.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Trying to stand out just seems insecure to me *shrugs*
    Does wanting to stand out because you don't want to be regarded as ordinary / no different to everyone else really class as 'insecurity'..? I run a business on top of my full-time job, not because I need the extra money, but because it gives a wow factor when people ask what I do, they're amazed I can manage it, it's a good differential.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lucasinio wrote: »
    i always feel the need to be different. If you look the same as everyone else, why would the girls be attracted to you? If youre different and you stand out, youre going to be more noticed.
    You're on exactly the same wavelength as me!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ricardo R wrote: »
    Does wanting to stand out because you don't want to be regarded as ordinary / no different to everyone else really class as 'insecurity'..? I run a business on top of my full-time job, not because I need the extra money, but because it gives a wow factor when people ask what I do, they're amazed I can manage it, it's a good differential.

    Yes, it does sound like insecurity or an abnormally high need for validation. It also reminds me of Jomery because you both seem to function in the exact same manner in spite of your differences. :p
    Maybe that's one of the things it takes to hack it in the fields you are in, who knows.

    --
    It's not bad to land a catch that's in posession of desirable traits, but I wouldn't be interested in them as a 'trophy'. Sure it's a bit exciting to tell friends you've met somebody smokin' hot and it's not worse if they're doing something interesting for a living. However when I was getting it on I wouldn't be thinking about what my friends will think! I'd be more interested in getting my hands on that person. ;) Afterwards I may tell my friends if I feel like it.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ricardo R wrote: »
    Does wanting to stand out because you don't want to be regarded as ordinary / no different to everyone else really class as 'insecurity'..?

    Yuuuuuuuuup.

    Constantly striving to prove that you're not 'ordinary' is the very definition of insecurity. If you were secure in yourself you:

    a) wouldn't need to prove anything

    b) wouldn't be so desperate to be different from everyone else and

    c) would realise that there's no such thing as an ordinary person

    Why do you feel the need to show that you stand out? If you have to try and prove that you stand out then...you don't stand out.


    p.s Having an extra job just to impress people? Surely having hobbies or interesting things to do in your spare time is more impressive. Unless you fight crime or wrestle alligators, I can't imagine many impressive part time jobs.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ricardo R wrote: »
    Does wanting to stand out because you don't want to be regarded as ordinary / no different to everyone else really class as 'insecurity'..? I run a business on top of my full-time job, not because I need the extra money, but because it gives a wow factor when people ask what I do, they're amazed I can manage it, it's a good differential.

    Of course it's insecurity.

    Most people don't feel the need to "stand out" because they're secure and happy with themselves. "Wow factor" just equates to "pompous prick factor" to me tbh mate.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yuuuuuuuuup.

    Constantly striving to prove that you're not 'ordinary' is the very definition of insecurity.
    Oh OK. I'm "insecure" then, oh well. I always thought it meant feeling inadequate about oneself. Striving to appear special/better to the crowd doesn't necessarily mean I'm not content with myself personally, which I am, as one is relative one is absolute.
    p.s Having an extra job just to impress people? Surely having hobbies or interesting things to do in your spare time is more impressive. Unless you fight crime or wrestle alligators, I can't imagine many impressive part time jobs.
    Well pretty much the first question I'm asked meeting anyone in London is 'what do you do for a living?', not what your hobbies are, saying I own a company (which is involved in music, fashion, events management and PR) is a slightly better icebreaker than saying I work for a bank!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    So you guys actually think 'standing out from the crowd' and wanting to 'be the best' is a bad thing? It's what drives people - Premiership footballers to score the most goals, students to top the class getting the best results, athletes wanting to come 1st...these are admirable qualities, however 'insecure' these people may or may not be for their motivations/agenda.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ricardo R wrote: »
    So you guys actually think 'standing out from the crowd' and wanting to 'be the best' is a bad thing? It's what drives people - Premiership footballers to score the most goals, students to top the class getting the best results, athletes wanting to come 1st...these are admirable qualities, however 'insecure' these people may or may not be for their motivations/agenda.

    The difference is that these people are doing it for themselves, they want to prove a point to themselves they are the best. You're only doing it to look good in front of others, which is insecurity.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yerascrote wrote: »
    The difference is that these people are doing it for themselves, they want to prove a point to themselves they are the best. You're only doing it to look good in front of others, which is insecurity.
    Surely the former can be classed as just as insecure - if they were content with themselves they wouldn't feel the need to prove to themselves that they are the best, they wouldn't need to attain proof/validation??
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ricardo R wrote: »
    Surely the former can be classed as just as insecure - if they were content with themselves they wouldn't feel the need to prove to themselves that they are the best, they wouldn't need to attain proof/validation??

    :confused:

    That doesn't make sense, if you can't see the difference between striving for your best to achieve an inner goal and striving for your best to get "kudos" or the "wow factor" then you don't know the difference between security and insecurity.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yerascrote wrote: »
    :confused:

    That doesn't make sense, if you can't see the difference between striving for your best to achieve an inner goal and striving for your best to get "kudos" or the "wow factor" then you don't know the difference between security and insecurity.
    If someone's secure in themselves then why do they feel the need to break a record or win a gold medal, 1st prize, certificate, #1 ranking etc to have that officially validated?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ricardo R wrote: »
    If someone's secure in themselves then why do they feel the need to break a record or win a gold medal, 1st prize, certificate, #1 ranking etc to have that officially validated?

    To achieve an inner goal. The end product is the same, the reasons are different. You're doing it to look good in front of others, they're doing it to prove something to themselves.

    I think you'll find that if they fail in their goals they'll accept that and try harder next time without worrying about their reputation whereas as if you taste failure, you'll feel inadequate in front of others. Correct me if I'm wrong btw.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    There's a difference between striving to be the best, and showing off a tiny amount of success to wow and impress people. People who strive to be the best do it for themselves, not to impress other people or to get kudos.

    Quite often it is insecurity that drives people to be the best at their chosen profession, making themselves successful to feel good about themselves, but that isn't what you are talking about. You are talking about doing things with the sole intention of getting other people to give you respect, with no actual desire for the thing you are doing.

    It's the difference between being proud of your wife because you think she's a stunner, and pulling a girl you have no attraction to simply because you think your friends will approve.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kermit wrote: »
    People who strive to be the best do it for themselves, not to impress other people or to get kudos.
    I don't think you can lump everyone who strives to "be the best" in the same category, surely some do it for themselves and others are out to impress. So many celebrities who've achieved great things are complete show-offs and full of themselves, with self-praising websites about themselves and how great they are, using PR to make themselves look as good as possible in the public eye, being total media whores etc.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The difference is that successful people do it for themselves, and unsuccessful people do it for everyone else. It's fairly easy to grasp that point.

    If you get off with a girl because you love her then that's one thing, but if you get off with someone you can't stand just for kudos then that's really really sad.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kermit wrote: »
    If you get off with a girl because you love her then that's one thing, but if you get off with someone you can't stand just for kudos then that's really really sad.
    I don't know where you're getting this impression I'd get off with someone I can't stand for kudos, if I want kudos obviously I'm going to pull someone who's really nice and/or a stunner, as previously said me/mates always have the same opinion on who's hot who's not. So that point's irrelevant. And what do you mean you get off "because you love her" lol if I'm going to get off with a random I'll have only just met her lol. One thing at a time!!
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