a rant about a 'friend'

Former Member

i wrote this as a blog on myspace and for some reason feel the need to post it here just to 'get it out of my system' i guess. anyway sorry folk. Pasted from my blog as it was. I might come over as a maniac/twat but I'm really not honest.

Seriously I have to rant and rave somewhere or else I'm never gonna be able to sleep because the angry grinding of my teeth will keep me awake forever. Yeah you get the idea, and anyone decent reading this; you can take on the role of therapist.

You know when you have those friends who tell you they love you and are always gonna be there for you?Well luckily for me MOST of mine were telling the truth apart from one snobby girl. I don't know..for arguement's sake lets call her VENOMOUS BITCH.

So I go into a psychiatric hospital because of a number of reasons and most importantly because I tried to top myself and did the usual teenage angst thing of slicing up my arms..oh and face. When I am in hospital I remember that venomous bitch has said in the past that she will always be there for me and we are best motherfucking buddies and all that jazz. So I ring whatshername..oh YEAH..venomous bitch and ask if she wants to come visit.
Me: Hi..I'm in hospital because of (insert depresso stuff here). Can you come visit?
VB: Well..I'm VERY busy..Essays and things. Maybe I will.
Me: Umm..Okay..I feel terrible (insert other depresso stuff)
VB: Yknow you shouldnt throw your life away. I'm not throwing mine away.
Me: Yeah I self harmed.
VB: Stupid girl.
Me: Yeah
___

That is all the telephone conversation that I can remember that involved Venemous Bitch because seriously it was that interesting and she was just so sensitive towards my needs. The point of hanging up I am filled with love and warmth and want to adopt a baby rhino. Not.

So I hear NADA from her for the three weeks I am in hospital and if she cares to respond to this with 'Your mobile wasnt working'. Well, Venomous Bitch. You should know my damn address by now but I forgot how busy you are being your boyfriend's caddy on the golf course and oh yeah, bitching your whiny little self out about me at college.

Which brings me onto my next piece. Bitching at college about me to people. Apparently I was MILKING it. Strangely enough that hadn't occured to me because I hadn't been in contact with the majority of my friends and was putting my energy into intense therapy sessions and getting myself better. Slicing up my arms and attempting suicide in 3 different ways is MILKING it. Well milk me silly because I must be a f'ing cow!!!

Now what she said next to my friends at college really got my goat. Not only is venomous bitch and a insensitive bitch she also thinks she has the right to judge how I dealt with my own dad dying of a brain tumour. Using a comment such as 'She cried more over Chris than she did over her own dad'. Is going to make me very fucking angry. So angry infact I hope that you choke to death on a jelly bean. I seriously do. When my dad died, I didnt know who the fuck you are. You were a nobody to me. I never discussed with you my average tear count when my dad died but because of the difficult situation I found it difficult to blub and wail my little heart out. You have no FUCKING right to even talk about my dad. You pathetic loser.

Lastly the next remark 'She should have known what she was getting herself into when she got with Chris'. What in the name of all things rational is that supposed to mean?? Chris is hardly a drug pushing pimp. It just turned out that he was wrong for me. That's all I'm going to say with regards to our break up. I appreciate that your love life is so AMAZING being with a doormat and everything and I bet you have oooooooodles of fun being his caddy on the golf course. Boy, I sure am jealous. Good luck being a primary school teacher too. This is one of the reasons not to have kids everybody. Venomous Bitch might end up teaching/bullying them.

So Venomous Bitch, seeing as you handled my depression with such grace and tact I wanted to thank you for making me realise why I never ever in a million years want to be anything like you. Oh and no matter how 'busy' you are as you responded so eloquently in your text messages. I'd appreciate it if you did return them asap especially Mrs Dalloway because I think the whole mental illness theme will just fly right over your narrow minded head.

But seriously. Give me back my damn dvds because there is no way in hell you're keeping them. You might be better off posting them through the letter box to avoid me screaming in your fucking face.

Thanks again Venomous Bitch.

Rachael

JsT

In fairness Venomous bitch sounds like she deserves it.

Former Member

Erm.. I'm at a complete loss here. Okay, I'm aware that you've had a couple of difficulties recently. Also, we all know someone who you think is a friend, but turns out to be anything but. Frankly, however, this is just taking the piss. Is it appropriate to wash your dirty linen on a public message board? Doesn't exactly make you look good either.

JsT

stargalaxy wrote: »

Is it appropriate to wash your dirty linen on a public message board? Doesn't exactly make you look good either.

Leave it. Its a rant, somebody who's having a hard time of it getting stuff off their chest. Its not inciting an argument, a 'flamewar' or anything. So just please crawl back into your little hole.

Former Member

stargalaxy wrote: »

Erm.. I'm at a complete loss here. Okay, I'm aware that you've had a couple of difficulties recently. Also, we all know someone who you think is a friend, but turns out to be anything but. Frankly, however, this is just taking the piss. Is it appropriate to wash your dirty linen on a public message board? Doesn't exactly make you look good either.

Oh you're that guy that no-one likes. Okay let me break it down for you.

Venomous Bitch isn't a a member on here.
This is a relationships forum.

Okey doke?

Jst thankyouuu! I'm going to bed soon but still feel raging!! Like a tiger..grrr!!

Former Member

Rachael wrote: »

Okay let me break it down for you... Venomous Bitch isn't a a member on here. This is a relationships forum. Okey doke?

I would have been more than happy to give you some help on this. After all, it's my number one reason for using this site. However, as you're being so damn insulting for some reason, I don't see why I should bother. You're just as bad as the "friend" you decry, to be honest.

Former Member

stargalaxy wrote: »

I would have been more than happy to give you some help on this. After all, it's my number one reason for using this site. However, as you're being so damn insulting for some reason, I don't see why I should bother. You're just as bad as the "friend" you decry, to be honest.

I wasn't exactly charmed by the allegation that I'm 'airing my dirty laundry out in public' either. No idea how long you've been a member here but you still haven't grasped the idea that this is a community messageboard where people are free to 'air out' their woes. In other news, I'm so sorry to have lost you as an online friend 'Danny'. Unfortunately the recent PM hasn't made me feel closer to you. On this topic, I would appreciate it if you didn't respond because you're a bit shite.

Former Member

Rachael wrote: »

I wasn't exactly charmed by the allegation that I'm 'airing my dirty laundry out in public' either.

Okay, perhaps that description was a bit extreme. But there's still something slightly unsettling about all this. I've read about your recent situation, and, even despite you needlessly throwing personal abuse at me, I still feel a lot of sympathy for you. Seriously, you need to get help for this, big time.

Former Member

stargalaxy wrote: »

Okay, perhaps that description was a bit extreme. But there's still something slightly unsettling about all this. I've read about your recent situation, and, even despite you needlessly throwing personal abuse at me, I still feel a lot of sympathy for you. Seriously, you need to get help for this, big time.

Oh go away you patronising tosser. You're unsettling me right now with your unwanted sympathy. Edited to add: Get help for what?????

Former Member

Rachael wrote: »

Oh go away you patronising tosser. You're unsettling me right now with your unwanted sympathy.

As you wish. ***next comment withdrawn**

Former Member

Lol. Yeah you'd be my first port of call. Pshhh :yeees:

JsT

stargalaxy wrote: »

As you wish. Just don't turn to me the next time you try to kill yourself.

Even from a socially-retarded arsehole like you that is really scraping the barrel. I really cannot genuinely believe you have just said that - coming from someone whos had 'problems' in the past I really thought you'd have more of a brain.

Rest assured I'm sure Rachel isn't going be short of friends.

Former Member

***withdrawn***

Former Member

If you go anywhere near my arse let alone kick it I'll slap you. As plainly as I can say to you, you are not being helpful and your little whinge in Depression isn't going to provoke me into a boring arguement with you. I'm gonna go bed now to read my book. Unfortunately your harsh words and 'kicking me up the arse' may make me want to papercut my fingers. Woe.

Night JsT xx

JsT

Rachael wrote: »

Night JsT xx

Sleep well

Former Member

I apologise. I've been stupid in much of this thread. In particular, that comment "Just don't turn to me the next time you try to kill yourself" was breathtakingly daft. It shouldn't have been made. Rachael, if you are reading this, I'm sorry.

Former Member

**ignores everything else**

Rach - she sounds like a right bitch, and you are well shot of her imo. Like I said the other day, if you ever need someone to chat to, I'll be around (except not during the day anymore 'cause of my new job and whatnot). It's good that you ranted though. Ranting helps :yes:.

Hope you feel better, I'm sure certain people didn't help.

x

Former Member

Agree with above comment - franki's not SG's

anyway I'm sorry this has happened to you, it must be hard to cope specially with everything else thats happened lately and you don't deserve it, but atleast your shot with her, just get your dvd's back don't lose out

I'd also say, i'm always around if you wanna chat however I can see you've got alot of people on this board who care deeply and you seem closer to, but if you need to talk to a complete stranger im around,

Good luck with everything :thumb:


ps, SG: surely with your older posts these have been a bit hypocritical,

**helen**

stargalaxy wrote: »

I apologise. I've been stupid in much of this thread. In particular, that comment "Just don't turn to me the next time you try to kill yourself" was breathtakingly daft. It shouldn't have been made. Rachael, if you are reading this, I'm sorry.

Amen to that. Anymore off hand comments in this thread will simply be removed.

Hope you had a good night's sleep Rach *hugs*.

Former Member

At least now you know who your real friends are- she certainly isn't one of them and you're better off without people like that around you. You need lots of positive energy right now so keep away from people like that who just make you mad.

Hope your tiger "grrr-ness" has calmed down overnight.
*Hugs*

Former Member

m

Former Member

Its tmes like this when you find out who your real friends are Rachael.
It sucks big time. She sounds awful. It says far more about her than it does about you.
Hope you had a good nights sleep.

Former Member

and stargalxy I wish I could say im astounded by how low you have sunk, but im not.

Former Member

Thanks for the replies. I've still got a bit of grrr in me but I'm off to the gym and 2pm to let it all out. Then seeing my friend and forcing him to watch Evita. I better get my dvds back because I'm sick of people taking advantage like that.

Apparently it all came out in sociology lesson a few days after I had rang her and told her to just tell the class that I'm ill and not in a psychiatric clinic...she said 'Rachael told me not to tell you but.......' The whole class were pretty astounded and wondering why the fuck she was gassing off when I specifically told her not to. Soooome people gawwwd.

Former Member

shes sounds like a complete bitch. you need her like a hole in your head.

Former Member

Rachael wrote: »

Apparently it all came out in sociology lesson a few days after I had rang her and told her to just tell the class that I'm ill and not in a psychiatric clinic...she said 'Rachael told me not to tell you but.......' The whole class were pretty astounded and wondering why the fuck she was gassing off when I specifically told her not to. Soooome people gawwwd.

Gosh she sounds a really nasty piece of work and shes obviously shown herself up now big time.
No need to tell you how much better off you are without people like that in your life

Former Member

definitely, trying not to let it make me less trusting of people but it's hard when there are idiots out there like that

Former Member

Rachael wrote: »

So I go into a psychiatric hospital because of a number of reasons and most importantly because I tried to top myself and did the usual teenage angst thing of slicing up my arms..oh and face. When I am in hospital I remember that venomous bitch has said in the past that she will always be there for me and we are best motherfucking buddies and all that jazz. So I ring whatshername..oh YEAH..venomous bitch and ask if she wants to come visit.
Me: Hi..I'm in hospital because of (insert depresso stuff here). Can you come visit?
VB: Well..I'm VERY busy..Essays and things. Maybe I will.
Me: Umm..Okay..I feel terrible (insert other depresso stuff)
VB: Yknow you shouldnt throw your life away. I'm not throwing mine away.
Me: Yeah I self harmed.
VB: Stupid girl.
Me: Yeah

What a wonderful, caring 'friend' you have.

Now what she said next to my friends at college really got my goat. Not only is venomous bitch and a insensitive bitch she also thinks she has the right to judge how I dealt with my own dad dying of a brain tumour. Using a comment such as 'She cried more over Chris than she did over her own dad'.

Different people will react in different ways. Just because you weren't crying (or crying very little) doesn't mean that you're not upset.

At least now you know who your real friends are

Indeed

Former Member

i hate her, i seriously do. these were the texts from last night about the dvds. how i managed to keep my cool i have noooooooo idea.

1) Me: hey its rachael, at some point can you drop off the dvds i lent you. Thanks

Reply: Yeah when I have time


2) Me: As soon as would be good cuz my friend wants to borrow them

Reply: I said I would when i have time did i not? like i said before rachael i will drop them round when i have time


3) Me: You live around the corner. I assumed it would take you what five minutes

Reply: Well i am out tonight and tomorrow so it will have to wait until i can get it. i am not rivin back from where i am to come fetch them for you and drop them round. i know they are yours and i will like i said drop them round when i can so you will have to wait.


4) Me : Good. Should not be too difficult for you. Look forward to seeing you.

my friends were telling me to send her 'fuck off' type mesages but i kept my cool when i wanted to strangle her. i thought the 'look forward to seeing you' would create a sense of foreboding. ha.

**helen**

I know it's a pain, but perhaps go and pick up the DVDs yourself (or even go with a friend) and then delete her number from your phone. It sounds like the whole DVD thing is a tie you don't need.

Former Member

Can you let them go, write them off as a casualty of this friendship 'war'? Or, replace them from somewhere else, second hand ot something. In this case, I would ignore the 'principle' of it, let her feel she's won one over on you if she would, and let go of all contact with her by letting go of the DVDs.