I have got a job but theres an issue

I’m starting induction next week for a domestic role. I didn’t want to do it at first, but I decided to start widening my options because things were dragging me down too much. Another Christmas was coming, and it felt like I had failed, but it’s not a job that’s completely unsuitable for me. The hours are every day, but just a couple of hours in the morning, which suits me since I prefer working during the day rather than evenings. I didn’t want to be too picky, and I’ve tried to be flexible. I’ve overthought the stigma around domestic jobs, but it’s a simple job and harder to mess up. I wouldn’t want to do it for life, but it doesn’t have to be forever, and it’s an important job. People should never look down on it.

I tend to focus more on the cons than the pros, even though multiple people have said I should be proud of myself, maybe even some who doubted me. I’ve struggled to feel positive about it and I’m scared of messing something up. I’ve been venting about this for ages, yet I still feel conflicted. It seems like part of me doesn’t want it, but I do. I think I’m slowly becoming more positive that I have a job, though I’m scared of failing. Previously, I’ve had negative experiences one after another, which makes it hard to feel optimistic, but I think getting into the routine will help. The job is only a couple of hours a day, seven days a week, so I’ll need to adjust to getting up earlier, but the short hours are constructive and give me a sense of accomplishment.

Living at home, I don’t have many bills, just my car, a bit of housekeeping, and my phone bill, which I’m trying to reduce. If I’m sensible with money, which I think I can be, I can treat myself occasionally but only buy what I can afford. I hope this marks the start of an uphill journey, and it should make it easier to get other jobs from here. I’ve done well by taking this role despite hesitations, ignoring the stigma, completing the online ID verification, and persevering through doubts, dark thoughts, and setbacks. I just want to do well and focus on the positives.



Also wanted to say a massive massive thank you, to you all for being with me during my journey and you're going with during this too, you all absolutely incredible, I mean it ❤️.