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Surgery
Animalloverb
Posts: 260 The Mix Regular
For those who don't know, we'll my fiance is having emergency surgery today, she is still currently In Surgery right now and I am so scared, I am hoping nothing goes wrong.
They are calling me with updates, as I am trying my hardest to get there, obviously I can't drive due to my conditions and stuff and so I take the bus, but the problem is at the moment the wildfire in my area had gotten a lot worse again so they have had to shut the road and some people have had to evacuate, but the other bus that goes to that area doesn't go to the stop that I need so I am having an absolute nightmare.
I feel awful not being there and I really want to be there for her when she comes out of surgery.
They are calling me with updates, as I am trying my hardest to get there, obviously I can't drive due to my conditions and stuff and so I take the bus, but the problem is at the moment the wildfire in my area had gotten a lot worse again so they have had to shut the road and some people have had to evacuate, but the other bus that goes to that area doesn't go to the stop that I need so I am having an absolute nightmare.
I feel awful not being there and I really want to be there for her when she comes out of surgery.
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I know that there has been a lot of wildfires near you and I hope that they will eventually stop for you so your able to see your fiance.
The road has now been opened which is great, so hopefully I can get there soon.
She is out of surgery but not currently conscious.
My beautiful fiancé is a fighter, she may be in a coma right now but I know she is fighting. I do hope the second surgery goes well, these surgeries already come with risks.
It's still crazy to me how everything just changed overnight, like one moment we were spending our day together, me proposing to her, and us having a laugh, enjoying life. And then a few days later she wakes up crying on the phone, screaming, calling emergency services and them rushing her to hospital, to having an emergency brain surgery, to now being in a coma and needing a second surgery.
You never know these things can happen until they happen to someone you love and care about, or even to yourself.
I'm holding myself together, I know she will fight as hard as she can. It's scary, and I'm absolutely breaking down.
Today's chat has helped give me a little distraction so thank you for everyone who was on chat tonight, I very much appreciate it.
@Animalloverb oh mate, I'm so so sorry. Like you said, she's a fighter, and so long as you have each other, that's what matters. Stick with her through the recovery, support her as much as you can, and that life you dreamed together is still there for you two. She's being seen to by experts, who will do everything they can.
I know how crushing this all must feel for you, and I want you to know, you can let it all out here. Your anger, your frustration, your worry and your fear. Whatever your feeling, you don't have to process this all alone. Nobody can handle a situation like this by themselves. You don't either.
If it's okay, could i say a prayer later for both of you?
Yes of course it is okay, anything right now is helpful, if you want to say a prayer go for it. I have loads today.
I was incredibly fustrated with the situation, I know there is no control over it but I was just angry that I couldn't get to her. I am literally praying that the road stays open for tomorrow as they did eventually say it was safe enough to reopen this evening so I am praying and hoping that its still open tomorrow.
It's hard enough being away from her knowing she is in the coma, and knowing she is in need of a second surgery. I know the risks that come with having the kind of surgery she needs and just knowing that is really messing with my mind.
@Animalloverb I've just said a private prayer for you and your fiancé. I really am wishing you both the best. I know it might not mean much, but from the bottom of my heart, i truly wish that the lord is good to you two. I think he meant for you to come together, meant for you to be with each other, and i don't know why hurdles like this get thrown in the way, but i think that the recovery will bring both of you even closer together. You being her support, and her being yours through it all. You both are true warriors. Her fighting as hard as she is, and you fighting to hold it together for her when she comes round.
Screaming, Crying, and praying was a normal reaction to have. Needing to desperately be there, and having all these things getting in the way when your barely keeping it together, reacting like that is called being human. The simple fact your even able to function enough to type anything is a miracle in of itself. Not having the power to just fix things, make things the way they were before, and not being able to do anything but wait truly must be agony mate. Have you at least got family around you who know of the situation? I know you mentioned they didn't know yet, but right now, it's important to have people by your side who are able to fully understand the situation and support you.
And the second surgery does sound scary, but the people who will be doing it will have spent decades doing these types of surgeries, and will be masters in there field. Did they say anything to you about it all yet, and were you able to get in as next of kin if you don't mind me asking?
Sorry I haven't replied sooner, I needed time to calm and pull myself back together.
Thank you I do really appreciate it.
No I haven't got any family around who know about the situation. I will be okay though mate.
Oh yeah the next of kin I was already down as, My mind was to far gone to think straight and remember what was sorted. They have told me what is going on, from what they have said, it sounds like she has had some sort of brain bleed which is absolutely horrible, they did say they were absolutely shocked after reviewing the scans they did when she go there, they said most people would of been in a coma from that and she was still conscious and fighting which is scary and i am so glad she was fighting and was able to call me and tell me how she felt and be able to call for emergency services. But something didn't go to plan during the surgery, which is why she is in a coma, and in need of a second surgery. The first surgery did come with risks of having strokes and all sorts of other scary risks, but they didn't plan on things going wrong like they have and her ending up not waking up after the surgery, i think they must of misjudged what they had to deal with.
Also, the second surgery already has the same risks as the first one and I am absolutely terrified of what will happen.
I know she is a true fighter and I keep saying this to try and ease my mind of all the horrible things it keeps thinking about. But I am falling apart, I am scared. I couldn't sleep knowing that she is in a coma right now, I couldn't sleep knowing the risks of today's final surgery.
I have never felt this type of pain,.I know I have felt the pain of trying to save a life of a friend. But this pain here is different, she is my fiancé and she means the world to me. She was my support during some hard moments that I told her about, but now I am here falling to pieces, trying to hold myself together for her.
I appreciate it so much mate, you have no idea how much these small simple words you say to me actually mean to me during this time.
No worries @Animalloverb Im so glad I help you ❤️, we're all here for you
I mean it's hard, it's hard not knowing fully what is going on. I know what is going on from what they are saying but I mean they know much more as medical professionals then I will ever know.
It's hard trusting these people with the life of my loved one. I know that they are doing all what they can to help her but it still doesn't take away the way I am feeling right now.
She is currently in surgery and I am praying it goes okay, I am praying she wakes up, I am praying she fights as hard as she can to stay with me.
I know this surgery is incredibly risky, they have already told me there may be some permanent brain damage to her which is just awful. I am hoping she defeats all the odds that are currently stacked up against her.
I also misunderstood what they said about the coma, yes something in the first surgery didn't go to full plan but they said it's okay and they can do it during this surgery she is in now, the reason she was in a coma was because she kept seizing and they had to put her in a medical induced coma to prevent any damage being done from the constant seizing.
I will support her throughout all of her recovery from this. I will try to be with her as much as I can.
It's just so hard. I am really having a hard day. All I can think about is everything that can go wrong. I keep thinking about all these risks. I keep thinking about how much her life may have changed due to this.
I just hate it, I hate to admit that I am so scared, I hate not feeling strong. I hate falling apart.
I also wanted to say its okay to not feel strong right now and to feel like your falling apart. Because life itself is one big testing thing I believe and it tests us constantly with obstacles. It must be hard though having to wait on whether she will be okay
You know where I am if you want a chat or need company right now
I can imagine how your feeling right now especially with the road closures too. Its frustrating when you want to be able to do something but your unable to especially when things feel out of your control at times, I know that feeling of wanting to be there for someone and being unable to. I hope the surgery goes well, I'll keep her in my thoughts today and you as well
Thank you, I am just so glad that the hospital understand the situation and are calling me with updates on her surgery and her situation. If it wasn't for what they are doing I really don't think I would be coping aswell as I am right now.
Yeah it is incredibly fustrating. I was hoping to be there today but with the road being closed due to the wildfire I have been unable to get there yet again. So I am hoping for the road to be open Tomorrow so I can get to the hospital.
I have received update as she is now out of this surgery, but I will explain what they said later as right at this moment I am just such a wreck, I'm in tears.