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Therapy cant fix me, i am fucked
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I'm hearing that whilst having a space to vent about your life may help alleviate some of your emotions, what you're actually looking for is practical support and tools to help you cope. You've done really well to identify what your needs are and how they're not being met. I wonder if you would feel comfortable speaking to your therapist about how you're finding the sessions?
It also sounds like changing your therapist could be an option but it may cost you more, which definitely isn't ideal. How long have you been going to your current therapist if you feel comfy sharing? I'm also wondering if you've had these feelings about the therapy from the start or if you've only recently started feeling like your needs aren't being met?
Based on what you've shared here, I wonder if you've tried out The NHS' self-help guide to building self esteem using cognitive behavioural based techniques. It's a booklet which can be accessed online or printed off. It explains how low self-esteem can affect people, how it develops, and what keeps it going. Practical self-help methods for overcoming low self-esteem are introduced in the booklet so you can learn to use them yourself, and there are different activities for you to have a go at. Do you think this would be useful for you? If so, here's the link to access the booklet: https://www.hpft-talkingtherapies.nhs.uk/sites/default/files/2020-12/Low Self-esteem.pdf
I'll also pop some organisations down below which offer practical help for mental health support:
Body & Soul have a service called MindSET where they offer free online mental health support delivered by therapists and young people through science, creativity and community. They have free, live, online sessions, videos, animations and podcasts. MindSET delivers effective, concrete skills to help young people manage emotional distress, which are also useful for those at risk of self-harm and suicide. Their therapeutic team will help you to reduce and manage emotional distress and prevent harmful behaviours. To register to the live streams head to http://bodyandsoulcharity.org/sharethelove/ You can also contact them at 020 7923 6880 or email enquiries@bodyandsoulcharity.org
My Possible Self is a mental health app that helps you to take control of your thoughts, feelings and behaviour. This includes managing stress, anxiety and depression. It has been designed by professionals using CBT techniques that have been approved by the NHS. It is available for free from https://www.mypossibleself.com/ or from the Apple and Android app stores.
I'll also pop some free apps down below which can help support you in the moment when you're experiencing anxiety and panic attacks:
Sorted: Mental Health (previously known as Feeling Good) is an app that has a range of audio programmes designed to increase your wellbeing and resilience to stress. The NHS approved app incorporates breathing, positive reappraisal and visualisation techniques to help you manage the physical symptoms of stress and anxiety. To find out more you can visit https://www.feelinggood.app/ or download the app from the Apple or Android app stores
My Possible Self is a mental health app that helps you to take control of your thoughts, feelings and behaviour. This includes managing stress, anxiety and depression. It has been designed by professionals using CBT techniques that have been approved by the NHS. It is available for free from https://www.mypossibleself.com/ or from the Apple and Android app stores.
I wonder if you feel like you've made any progress with your therapy from the sessions where you do vent to her and explain everything or do you still feel how you did in July?
I'm also hearing you're feeling like you're not making any progress with your therapy and just talking about how you're feeling might not be helping you too much. I can imagine how disappointing it might feel after you've done so well to reach out for support but feel like you're not getting anywhere. From what you've explained it does sound like maybe you're wanting practical help right now so it may be worth discussing this with your therapist. When will you next be seeing your therapist?
No worries about the recommendations either! I hope those apps can help you a little bit when you have panic attacks because you deserve support and practical help.
Also it's great to hear your therapist has been able to offer you practical help and a plan for when you experience panic attacks. How are you finding the different techniques she's recommended? Are any of them working well?
I also hear that maybe the reason why she wasn't offering solutions before is because what you were talking to her about wasn't something she had a solution for, but you was able to have the space to vent about it. This makes sense but I hope this is a turning page for you to now explore solutions with her! Are you feeling any better about her therapy now she's started offering practical help?
One technique I've heard of that reminds me of your listing-technique is to choose a random word, e.g. Elephant, and then to go through each letter in your mind naming an object / place / person that stands for each letter, e.g. E - Egg, L - Lamp, E - Eloise - P - Phone, etc.
It sounds like these have been helpful tools to have in your back pocket for difficult moments!