I failed in life

bignosegirly0 · July 4

I failed in having a social life. I failed in getting a partner. I failed in getting my dream jobs. I have little to no interest in engaging in my creative hobbies due to being unhappy.

Animalloverb · July 4

It's okay to feel unhappy. It must be really hard to feel how you do right now, especially since you now have little interest in doing things that you once enjoyed.

Having a social life can be hard for many people, a lot of people struggle with it so your not the only one.

Again, getting into relationships is such a hard thing and so many people struggle with it, and it doesn't happen quickly it can take a long time to find the right person for you, that doesn't mean you have failed at it, it just means you need some more time and that's okay.

It can feel really devastating when a job you really dream of having doesn't work out, you could always try again later, sometimes it takes a few trys to get to that point.

Sian321 · July 4

@bignosegirly0 , thank you for making this post. It sounds like the weight of feeling like you've failed is really coming down heavy on you right now, and I get the sense you feel as though you perhaps can't do anything quite right, or that there's no hope for things to change? That sounds overwhelming.

You're doing so well to talk about this, and as @AnonymousToe has said, it's okay to be struggling right now.

Where do you feel this sense of failure is coming from?

bignosegirly0 · July 4

@Sian321 I triggered myself by looking at other coworkers social media (not always a good idea lol) and there’s this girl (who I’ve probably talked about a million times before cuz I wanna be her lol) who’s succeeding in her side job as a dance teacher. This caused me to feel depressed about the fact that I’ve failed to achieve my dream goal, and then I remembered its very likely I won’t achieve other things in life like love

Fathima · July 4

@bignosegirly0 comparison is the thief of joy, everyone is at different points of their life, just because one person may be succeeding doesn't make you a failure and doesn't mean that they're not struggling in any other aspect, that girl who had a side job as a dance teacher has struggled in some point of her life, everyone struggles and I'm not saying this to undermine your struggle but that we are all on our own journey and that some people's struggles are more visible than others, try not to undermine and put yourself below others, just because they're succeeding with a job or on social media, it doesn't make them superior to you.

Also as someone else who struggles horribly with a social life, where I struggle to even interact with relatives and immediate family, I totally get you, but as you've mentioned social media, try remember that people post and showcase their best side on social media and so with struggles, they rarely showcase it, it's often seen as taboo in a way, so try remember that when looking at other coworkers on social media.

What I would recommend is writing down your thoughts if that helps, that might get some weight off your shoulder.

And it's never too late to achieve your dream job, many successful people started late, 30, 40 and even 50+

And in terms of finding a partner, and even with social life, try be softer on yourself, you're being too hard on yourself which in turn causes doubt, try be more gentle with yourself.

Like you I also struggled so heavily with little to mo interest in previous hobbies, what I would recommend is trying like 2-5 minutes as a starter, you'll probably stop soon after but at least you can say you tried.

Also the fact that you even have a job is amazing, just because it's not your dream job doesn't mean it's a failure, you have something going on.

Also everyone's idea of success is different, nowadays success is determined by wealth and numbers, but try find satisfaction in the little things and focus on yourself and remember to slow down, life isn't meant to be rushed.

Hope this helps and apologies if this doesn't,sorry for it being so long.

Sian321 · July 5

Hey @bignosegirly0 , I hear you, and you're doing so well to talk about this. We're here for you!

May I ask, what would you say your dream goal is? I'd love to know and listen. We could explore this all together!

bignosegirly0 · July 5

@Sian321 my only dream goals are:

•getting into a creative career, such as graphic design as an example

•finding love

And that’s it lol

Sian321 · July 6

These sound like beautiful goals @bignosegirly0 .

What kind of steps do you think you could take towards getting into a creative career?

bignosegirly0 · July 7

@Sian321 its quite difficult because there aren’t a lot of creative opportunities in my area. I’ve already completed two creative courses and passed. A lot of people have stated that my work looks so professional. I’ve applied for creative jobs in my area in the passed and failed. There’s not a lot I can do at the moment.

When I get a car (which is likely next year) I’ll probably be able to drive to different locations and reach more creative opportunities

Blue_lily · July 8

hey @bignosegirly0

Those sound like some really good steps towards your dream career. Well done on completing those creative courses that is such a great achievement and definitely something you should be proud of. I'm sorry you haven't managed to get a job in this area yet, but it seems like you are definitely making progress towards your dream job, and just to reiterate what most people have said on here its ok for you not to have achieved your dream job yet and that doesn't mean you won't be able to get there when your older. You sound really driven to achieve this dream job and these steps you've taken sound like you're already on a great path towards achieving this goal.

Also in case it helps I'd just thought I'd share what I do when my goals start to feel overwhelming or I begin to compare my life with others:

I try and focus on a little goal or something small I can do that makes me happy and gives me a sense of accomplishment. For example, sometimes I'll go and find a challenging recipe to bake as once I've complemented the bake it makes me feel like I've achieved something and helps me build my self confidence which can make it easier for me to later address my bigger goals. I also find that doing something practical really helps to ground my thoughts of comparison and prevent them from turning into a bit of a downward spiral.

I hope this little bit of advice may help, what kind of activity would you potentially do?

Alternatively maybe making a list of things you can do to help you achieve your dream job might help make you feel more like you are on the path to achieving this goal.

You've got this

Redemption · July 8

@bignosegirly0 Im sorry you feel like this, your feelings are valid, you have your whole life to do these things, just because you don't have these things now doesn’t mean you won't get them at all, like it says above its never too late to get your dream job or any of these things. I can see you want to get a car too, that's amazing, you also have some great goals, I wish you the best of luck with them, you've got this , we are all behind you. Don't give up ❤️. Your feelings are valid and we are always here to talk about them

bignosegirly0 · July 8

@Blue_lily i don’t do much since I’m too unmotivated or depressed to do anything I like, even when I try. But when I’m not, I do a bit of writing and art.

Blue_lily · July 9

I'm sorry that your going through these feelings at the moment @bignosegirly0 , were always here for you, you've got this.

But it's great that some of the time you get to do some writing or art. I think being able to do creative writing is so cool, if you don't mind me asking what do you typically write is it like poems or short stories?

Azziman · July 9

Hey @bignosegirly0, thank you for sharing how you feel with us. I can hear how you're feeling unmotivated and depressed at the moment. I'm sorry to hear that things are difficult at the moment. It's good to hear that you're able to do a little writing and art when you're feeling up to it. What kind of writing and art do you like to do, when you're feeling up to it? I'm sure it must be good, based on the feedback you're already getting from people! We're here to support you through this.

bignosegirly0 · July 10

@Blue_lily @Azziman most of my art and writing is me taking inspiration from my negative experiences and turning them into digital art or stories. It’s almost therapeutic, even if the themes aren’t happy.

Besides therapeutic art, I also got back into creating small paintings to hang in my room.

I failed in life

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