I failed in life

bignosegirly0

I failed in having a social life. I failed in getting a partner. I failed in getting my dream jobs. I have little to no interest in engaging in my creative hobbies due to being unhappy.

Animalloverb

It's okay to feel unhappy. It must be really hard to feel how you do right now, especially since you now have little interest in doing things that you once enjoyed.

Having a social life can be hard for many people, a lot of people struggle with it so your not the only one.

Again, getting into relationships is such a hard thing and so many people struggle with it, and it doesn't happen quickly it can take a long time to find the right person for you, that doesn't mean you have failed at it, it just means you need some more time and that's okay.

It can feel really devastating when a job you really dream of having doesn't work out, you could always try again later, sometimes it takes a few trys to get to that point.

Sian321

@bignosegirly0 , thank you for making this post. It sounds like the weight of feeling like you've failed is really coming down heavy on you right now, and I get the sense you feel as though you perhaps can't do anything quite right, or that there's no hope for things to change? That sounds overwhelming.

You're doing so well to talk about this, and as @AnonymousToe has said, it's okay to be struggling right now.

Where do you feel this sense of failure is coming from?

bignosegirly0

@Sian321 I triggered myself by looking at other coworkers social media (not always a good idea lol) and there’s this girl (who I’ve probably talked about a million times before cuz I wanna be her lol) who’s succeeding in her side job as a dance teacher. This caused me to feel depressed about the fact that I’ve failed to achieve my dream goal, and then I remembered its very likely I won’t achieve other things in life like love

Fathima

@bignosegirly0 comparison is the thief of joy, everyone is at different points of their life, just because one person may be succeeding doesn't make you a failure and doesn't mean that they're not struggling in any other aspect, that girl who had a side job as a dance teacher has struggled in some point of her life, everyone struggles and I'm not saying this to undermine your struggle but that we are all on our own journey and that some people's struggles are more visible than others, try not to undermine and put yourself below others, just because they're succeeding with a job or on social media, it doesn't make them superior to you.

Also as someone else who struggles horribly with a social life, where I struggle to even interact with relatives and immediate family, I totally get you, but as you've mentioned social media, try remember that people post and showcase their best side on social media and so with struggles, they rarely showcase it, it's often seen as taboo in a way, so try remember that when looking at other coworkers on social media.

What I would recommend is writing down your thoughts if that helps, that might get some weight off your shoulder.

And it's never too late to achieve your dream job, many successful people started late, 30, 40 and even 50+

And in terms of finding a partner, and even with social life, try be softer on yourself, you're being too hard on yourself which in turn causes doubt, try be more gentle with yourself.

Like you I also struggled so heavily with little to mo interest in previous hobbies, what I would recommend is trying like 2-5 minutes as a starter, you'll probably stop soon after but at least you can say you tried.

Also the fact that you even have a job is amazing, just because it's not your dream job doesn't mean it's a failure, you have something going on.

Also everyone's idea of success is different, nowadays success is determined by wealth and numbers, but try find satisfaction in the little things and focus on yourself and remember to slow down, life isn't meant to be rushed.

Hope this helps and apologies if this doesn't,sorry for it being so long.

Sian321

Hey @bignosegirly0 , I hear you, and you're doing so well to talk about this. We're here for you!

May I ask, what would you say your dream goal is? I'd love to know and listen. We could explore this all together!

bignosegirly0

@Sian321 my only dream goals are:

•getting into a creative career, such as graphic design as an example

•finding love

And that’s it lol

Sian321

These sound like beautiful goals @bignosegirly0 .

What kind of steps do you think you could take towards getting into a creative career?