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Anybody want to vent or chat about anything? (Triggering stuff edition)

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Comments

  • DonnerKebabDonnerKebab Posts: 836 Part of The Mix Family
    @Redemption yeah, just checking up on you mate. I may have been a little to revealing the men's mental health chat :'(
  • RedemptionRedemption Community Connector Posts: 4,437 Community Veteran
    @Redemption yeah, just checking up on you mate. I may have been a little to revealing the men's mental health chat :'(

    @DonnerKebab I appreciate it thanks and no bro you aren't. We're a non judgemental space here, as long as you're all good now then it's cool, you've had some tough experiences.
  • independent_independent_ Community Connector Posts: 9,713 Supreme Poster
    @River if you’re really not up to getting in a full shower, a little wash in the sink might be something you could start with. Even if it’s just for the important bits for now. Like @DonnerKebab said, pushing yourself is good, but pushing yourself to the point where you’re feeling worse for it definitely isn’t. Pushing yourself should be a positive thing, feeling proud of what you achieved etc. If it isn’t, it might be a step too far for now and taking smaller steps is ok.

    @Redemption hope your course goes well tomorrow. And I know you were both interested so I hope for you and @DonnerKebab that the mens chat went well and yous both felt able to open up a bit.
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
  • RedemptionRedemption Community Connector Posts: 4,437 Community Veteran

    @Redemption hope your course goes well tomorrow. And I know you were both interested so I hope for you and that the mens chat went well and yous both felt able to open up a bit.

    Thanks @independent_ , it went pretty well , a bit quiet as I know a lot of members here are female
  • eylaheylah Posts: 7,898 Master Poster
    can’t sleep..
    ppl dont always need advice. sometimes all they rly need is a hand to hold. an ear to listen. and a heart to understand them. 🧸
  • independent_independent_ Community Connector Posts: 9,713 Supreme Poster
    @Redemption yes, I’d say a majority of members are female, but that just gives an even bigger reason to have that space. There are some things that are easier to talk about in a space where there’s people who identify with the same (or similar) gender to yourself. Which is all well and good for us women because there’s plenty of us, but not so much for guys.

    @eylah we’re here to chat if you need to get anything off your chest. Is there anything on your mind that’s stopping you sleeping? I know sometimes my brain is racing with all sorts and I can’t sleep because of that.
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
  • eylaheylah Posts: 7,898 Master Poster
    idk rly just wanna sleep but can’t. :(
    ppl dont always need advice. sometimes all they rly need is a hand to hold. an ear to listen. and a heart to understand them. 🧸
  • RedemptionRedemption Community Connector Posts: 4,437 Community Veteran
    eylah wrote: »
    idk rly just wanna sleep but can’t. :(

    I relate, I hope you end up getting some sleep
  • DonnerKebabDonnerKebab Posts: 836 Part of The Mix Family
    @Redemption Cheers mate. Yeah, been different for like 7 years now. And just to clarify if i haven't already. I was just avoiding them the whole time. Nothing else. Polite and respectful still as always to everybody. Just avoidant wanting to avoid being abused again. Never ever hurting anybody ever. I'd sooner die than that. My teacher in college and then my counsellor for like 4 weeks in uni really did change me. 100% all good now and for the last 7 years.
  • independent_independent_ Community Connector Posts: 9,713 Supreme Poster
    @eylah ah no that’s the worst, wanting to sleep but just lying there staring at the ceiling! Do you find there’s anything that helps you? I have to stop doing anything remotely engaging, I know lots of people watch TV shows etc but I have to put on something that’s super mindless. I can’t watch something new or something that has a story if I want to sleep because I will lie awake because I’m so invested. So my solution to that is just watching quiz shows in the background. I know they say the phone isn’t good, but I do use my phone, I just have to stay off of chat apps in particular. If I’m chatting to someone I definitely won’t sleep, but sometimes that’s not a bad thing, especially if it means I can get something off my mind before sleeping. That’s just what helps me. I hope you manage to get some sleep soon <3
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
  • RedemptionRedemption Community Connector Posts: 4,437 Community Veteran
    @Redemption yes, I’d say a majority of members are female, but that just gives an even bigger reason to have that space. There are some things that are easier to talk about in a space where there’s people who identify with the same (or similar) gender to yourself. Which is all well and good for us women because there’s plenty of us, but not so much for guys.

    @independent_ I agree, I just hope it wasn't like excluding you girls or other genders.
  • DonnerKebabDonnerKebab Posts: 836 Part of The Mix Family
    @Redemption I know that there are a lot of people of both genders in need of support chat, so i kind of feel guilty that they don't have one today but we did.
  • independent_independent_ Community Connector Posts: 9,713 Supreme Poster
    @Redemption I don’t feel excluded at all. There’s other chats that are open to everyone, and plus there’s often convos in chat that are centred around issues that primarily affect women, which I can imagine are tough for guys to take part in.
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
  • independent_independent_ Community Connector Posts: 9,713 Supreme Poster
    @ Redemption I know that there are a lot of people of both genders in need of support chat, so i kind of feel guilty that they don't have one today but we did.

    Please don’t feel guilty @DonnerKebab any support we can get is really valuable, but that doesn’t mean every single chat has to be open to every single person. That space is there, so you’re as well making use of it.
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
  • RedemptionRedemption Community Connector Posts: 4,437 Community Veteran
    @Redemption Cheers mate. Yeah, been different for like 7 years now. And just to clarify if i haven't already. I was just avoiding them the whole time. Nothing else. Polite and respectful still as always to everybody. Just avoidant wanting to avoid being abused again. Never ever hurting anybody ever. I'd sooner die than that. My teacher in college and then my counsellor for like 4 weeks in uni really did change me. 100% all good now and for the last 7 years.

    @DonnerKebab yh that doesn’t really sound too bad just avoiding and you learnt which some people unfortunately don't. Avoiding is similar to me like I might just not go to the football again like I dont like certain people like going in too much, the guy didn't show any remorse or anything, I think he was injuring people and laughing too. I might end up kicking off if something happens like someone already did, they had a short temper anyway it seems but I think that was reasonable, a guy went in 3 times standing on his foot so the guy got a bit mad. I think 3 times is enough plus hes been doing it to other players too.
  • RedemptionRedemption Community Connector Posts: 4,437 Community Veteran
    edited June 9
    @Redemption I don’t feel excluded at all. There’s other chats that are open to everyone, and plus there’s often convos in chat that are centred around issues that primarily affect women, which I can imagine are tough for guys to take part in.

    Cool, I should hopefully see you in the general chat tomorrow @independent_ unless you're in circle? I think football is meant to be on but I'm not going to that , I don't think my safety is garanteed and I'd rather seek support tbh, like if I had a job or work related course I'd obviously choose that but little football match where I could get fouled and don't want to go anyway yh I'm definitely staying here for that.
  • RedemptionRedemption Community Connector Posts: 4,437 Community Veteran
    @Redemption I know that there are a lot of people of both genders in need of support chat, so i kind of feel guilty that they don't have one today but we did.

    @DonnerKebab I did a bit, I hope all the female members understand.
  • DonnerKebabDonnerKebab Posts: 836 Part of The Mix Family
    Redemption wrote: »
    @Redemption Cheers mate. Yeah, been different for like 7 years now. And just to clarify if i haven't already. I was just avoiding them the whole time. Nothing else. Polite and respectful still as always to everybody. Just avoidant wanting to avoid being abused again. Never ever hurting anybody ever. I'd sooner die than that. My teacher in college and then my counsellor for like 4 weeks in uni really did change me. 100% all good now and for the last 7 years.

    @DonnerKebab yh that doesn’t really sound too bad just avoiding and you learnt which some people unfortunately don't. Avoiding is similar to me like I might just not go to the football again like I dont like certain people like going in too much, the guy didn't show any remorse or anything, I think he was injuring people and laughing too. I might end up kicking off if something happens like someone already did, they had a short temper anyway it seems but I think that was reasonable, a guy went in 3 times standing on his foot so the guy got a bit mad. I think 3 times is enough plus hes been doing it to other players too.

    @Redemption definitely a bit of a situation then. You want to avoid staying if there's nothing being done about the aggressive plays. Should definitely be a yellow or red card. And the fact that he's laughed after is just poor sportsmanship and would provoke anybody into lashing out.

    And yeah, all it took was for one to show me basic kindness and compassion, and like that, i stopped being avoidant, thinking they were all going to hurt me somehow if given the chance. Always been grateful. Anyway, i'm signed up to therapy and am on the waiting list, so i'm gonna speak a lot about it all there. A lot of childhood trauma to go over.
  • DonnerKebabDonnerKebab Posts: 836 Part of The Mix Family
    Saw this midnight gang 😂

    ruwasv5nbhcp.png
  • independent_independent_ Community Connector Posts: 9,713 Supreme Poster
    @Redemption if you don’t feel safe at football it’s probably not the best environment for you to be in right now anyway. If you enjoy football there’s no reason to stop completely though, if there’s any other football groups around where you live (I imagine living in a city there might be a couple?)

    I’m not in circle, I always forget to sign up unless something really bad is happening, which I guess is a good thing - means I’m just plodding along as usual, and best to leave those spaces for people who really need them. Sometimes I really need one, but I don’t right now so I’d rather people who really need to talk get that space and I can wait for ordinary SC.
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
  • RiverRiver Community Connector Posts: 4,158 Community Veteran
    She’s yelling at me 😕
    Sometimes when the people most like you don't love you, it is a hurt that can cause the greatest pain, and this pain can lead you to hate everything.
  • independent_independent_ Community Connector Posts: 9,713 Supreme Poster
    Saw this midnight gang 😂

    ruwasv5nbhcp.png

    Ahaha, it sure is bed o’clock for me soon @DonnerKebab, but midnight gang seems to be 11pm gang tonight, so I’m not missing that!
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
  • DonnerKebabDonnerKebab Posts: 836 Part of The Mix Family
    River wrote: »
    She’s yelling at me 😕

    @River who is?
  • independent_independent_ Community Connector Posts: 9,713 Supreme Poster
    River wrote: »
    She’s yelling at me 😕

    @River whats happened? I don’t want to assume - who is shouting at you? <3
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
  • RiverRiver Community Connector Posts: 4,158 Community Veteran
    @independent_ and @DonnerKebab my mum because I brought up the college interviews :s I give up gonna have another shit night as if I wasn’t already in tears.
    Sometimes when the people most like you don't love you, it is a hurt that can cause the greatest pain, and this pain can lead you to hate everything.
  • RedemptionRedemption Community Connector Posts: 4,437 Community Veteran
    @Redemption if you don’t feel safe at football it’s probably not the best environment for you to be in right now anyway. If you enjoy football there’s no reason to stop completely though, if there’s any other football groups around where you live (I imagine living in a city there might be a couple?)

    I’m not in circle, I always forget to sign up unless something really bad is happening, which I guess is a good thing - means I’m just plodding along as usual, and best to leave those spaces for people who really need them. Sometimes I really need one, but I don’t right now so I’d rather people who really need to talk get that space and I can wait for ordinary SC.

    @independent_ I don't really fully enjoy it and don't feel like my safety is garanteed. I only started to tag along and a bit of exercise. I find it boring, I not really truly been into football I think some guys common intrests are cars or football and mines always been cars. There will be others but I won't be joining, I might do another exercise like buy a bike or something.

    I think everyone is ok to join but I try to join not every week to give others a space to chat. I think I do need a space but yh support chats on and other spaces like here on boards is 24/7.
  • independent_independent_ Community Connector Posts: 9,713 Supreme Poster
    @River I’m so sorry to hear that. I read about your interviews - you absolutely smashed them and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. You should be exceptionally proud of yourself, I’m really proud of you.

    I will be getting in bed shortly, but this thread is here through night if you need to post anything <3
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
  • RiverRiver Community Connector Posts: 4,158 Community Veteran
    Thank you @independent_ <3
    Sometimes when the people most like you don't love you, it is a hurt that can cause the greatest pain, and this pain can lead you to hate everything.
  • DonnerKebabDonnerKebab Posts: 836 Part of The Mix Family
    edited June 9
    @River No matter what happens, as hard as it is, you have to pursue your dreams. You mom will complain about college interviews, but it's your future, not hers. You deserve to go down the path that will make you happy no matter what. People change courses, they change career path numerous times, they do what makes them happy, and you deserve the same.

    We're gonna be here for you regardless of what happens, even if only online. Know that we're in your corner, and your not alone through it. You did well, and we're all proud of you.
  • independent_independent_ Community Connector Posts: 9,713 Supreme Poster
    @Redemption I’ve always said when you don’t enjoy a sport, then there’s no point. Sport and exercise are great, but imo you absolutely have to be enjoying it at least on a level because otherwise that motivation and energy just isn’t there. This is what happened to me with swimming, a few years competitive sucked the life out of it for me, and eventually i stopped, but I’d been doing it for long enough that my teammates referred to that as “retiring”. If another sport would suit you better then go for it, sometimes individual exercise is better, like going to the gym or yes cycling.

    I hear you on that, but it varies very much on support needs - if someone needs that support every week then that’s what the space is for and it’s ok to use it. Excluding really difficult times (and circle has been the place I go in those times) I don’t feel I need it every week.
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
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