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How are you doing tonight
I took doggo to the beach today
Was doggo a happy doggo might i ask?
He was a very happy doggo
But that doesn't mean you don't deserve that love and care and support. You do, and you deserve the right to be open and not keep things bottled up if you don't want to. can i ask, when you say passing away, do you mean like, dying or something? or like leaving?
Plus the mix really isn’t my place to open up anymore not because of any members but just the mix and I’ve been told to talk about it to the staff but what can they do, to many bad experiences with having a voice about issues and about not being able to open up, it’s always ended bad (not due to current staff team btw)
The simple act of venting about stuff can really help potentially, to release a lot of what's been bottled up. And being told to talk to the staff about it, it might not be ideal, but what's the harm in trying. Maybe they can't change your life situation, but they can listen to you vent, and tell you there honest opinion. Bottling it up isn't sustainable for you, and you shouldn't have to struggle through that. There is a chance, despite everything, of being able to open up and it goes well.
A bit of a lazy day for me. How did your day go?
And there is nothing sad and pathetic about you, or about crying over it. It's perfectly valid to do so. Besides, your currently talking to a person who is the very definition of pathetic lol. Open up a dictionary and you'll see a picture of me under that word. I can fully understand why you wouldn't want to open up after all of that. All i can do is tell you that no matter what you said or whatever goes on with you, i'm staying and not treating you any different. That I can promise you. You didn't deserve again to deal with any of that.
Would it be okay if through July, I tagged you in this thread, just to check up on you and remind you during that anniversary month of it, that you are cared about on here?
just wanted to pop in here after seeing your message about why you don’t feel able to share stuff at the mix - thank you for sharing that with us, i can only imagine how hard that time must’ve been for you, and i really appreciate you opening up. it’s not stupid or pathetic at all. what you went through clearly left a deep mark, and it makes total sense that it still affects you, especially around this time of year.
i’m really sorry that you felt so alone and unsupported during that period. no one deserves to feel that way, especially in a space that’s supposed to be safe. i can understand why it’s been hard for you to fully open up again, when trust gets shaken like that, it’s not easy to rebuild.
just know that i hear you, and i’m here for you. even if i can’t change what happened, i care about how you’re feeling now. you don’t have to carry it all on your own, even if it still feels raw sometimes, and if you ever do want to talk more, i will always be around to listen, no pressure, just support.
you matter, and your feelings are valid
I know things should just feel easier now but since that I completely changed on the mix to how I was when I first joined, I went from being really hyper, talkative and clingy to just put up a different side to me where I just feel like I can’t be me yk, I prefer the mix with the way it is now and I thought it would be a fresh start for me but it’s not I just have this constant fear that I’m doing everything wrong (probably why I often say that everything about me is wrong)
I go to be how I used to be and get comfy around people and then it’s like an alarm in my head that goes off saying nope don’t do that no one will like you and I have to be a certain way for people to like me and talk to me. I just can’t show my true self anymore
People have been so kind to me, mods, and staff since the merger and since things changed but now I’m stuck with this fear that I can’t get rid of 💔😭
I’m sorry
Edit: I’d like that thank you donner
the fact that you want to be open and feel safe again says so much about your heart. you haven’t changed in a bad way, you’ve just been through a lot, and now you’re doing what anyone would do - trying to protect yourself. that doesn’t make you wrong, it makes you human.
it’s ok to be scared, and it’s okay to still be figuring out how to feel safe again. you deserve to take up space, to be your silly, hyper, talkative, clingy self if that’s what feels natural. anyone worth having around will accept and appreciate you for all of who you are, not just the version you think you “should” be.
the fear may not go away overnight, but you’re not alone in it. we are all here. if it’s worth anything, i like you for who you are, not who you think you need to be.
you’re doing the best you can, and that’s enough - you are enough
Yh a few pints @DonnerKebab . It went ok, just boring atm. That's good you had a bit of relaxing day.
Hi @eylah. Are you okay? What's happened to make you feel that way?
im just having a down day im feeling like shit physically and my mh is crap today too so im just feeling sry for myself. im just feeling like why am i alive bc idk i just feel like i have 0 purpose. but thankyou both
im safe
pls remember, you do matter, even if it’s hard to see it today