If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. For Crisis Support (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Check out our Men's Mental Health Support Chat every Monday 8pm-9:30pm in partnership with the JD Foundation. It's an inclusive space to talk about anxiety, stress, and anything affecting young men under 25.
Click here for more info!
Click here for more info!
Struggling to cope with the aftermath of ending some friendships
Past User
Posts: 0 Just got here
The user and all related content has been deleted.
3
Comments
It sounds like they could be trying to get a reaction out of you, and I hear that maybe you just want to be left alone. How you're feeling is really valid here because even though they've said they don't want you to speak to them anymore, I hear one of them is still reaching out and then deleting their messages. That's really confusing and kind of like a mind-game. And you're right that even though you don't know if the negative scenarios you're imagining will even happen, it makes sense to worry because how they're acting at the moment sounds a little bit unpredictable.
I really like this sentence because yes you have @Creativeboy23
From what I’ve gathered, I first of all want to let you know how good a job you’re doing. It’s clear that you’ve being doing lots of positive healthy steps to try and protect your mental health and inner peace as much as you can, including looking at both sides of the situation, journalling your feelings, and recognising and staying true to your own perceptions and beliefs about right and wrong.
It is never easy when friendships and connections with people end, as despite the fallout, we often hold some positive memories with those people. It can be hard when the people who hurt us don’t take accountability for their actions, and its something a lot of us will go through at one stage or another in our lives.
I think it’s also fairly common to think about what you might say or do if you ever encountered them again in the future. I know when I’ve had friendships end, I’ve also sat and thought about the same thing. But it can sometimes lead to a negative spiral of loads of different scenarios that may or may not happen. But it is good to see that you are challenging these negative thoughts and feelings as best you can. Keep doing that and I’m sure in time things will get easier. As the cliché saying goes ‘time is the best healer’.
But ultimately, it seems you are doing everything you can to be proactive about not letting this situation bring you down too much, and keep yourself in a stable and positive state of mind. You’re doing an amazing job so keep it up!!!!
We’re all here for you and in your corner - whether you need to vent some more, get some advice or just have a general chitchat. Sending hugs 😊
As you said, it feels so valid that you had wished for your former friends to understand how they had caused you hurt and to empathise with this. I can imagine feeling blamed for everything might have been very hard, and it is so positive that you have been working to speak to yourself kindly, to be curious about the different thoughts and feelings that are coming up for you through this process, and to be giving yourself time.
We're all here for you on Community, and thank you again very much for trusting us with what you've shared
First of all, hope you're doing okay today with everything. I've only just seen this so hope the delay wasn't too long. It sounds like a tough and challenging situation that you're still trying to navigate since last time I responded, where your old friends aren't respecting the personal boundaries you are putting in place for your own wellbeing. Just wanted to remind you that these boundaries, whatever you decide them to be, are valid and you have every right to do what you feel necessary to protect your own wellbeing.
It sounds extra challenging given that it has triggered those memories from the past and your crisis worker leaving you feeling unsupported. Whatever the crisis workers views on the issue, you deserved to feel heard and that your experiences were acknowledged, and it sounds like that wasn't the case then.
You deserve to be able to let that guard down and relax without worrying about if they will contact again, message or just disturb your peace in general. Is there anything in particular you're doing that helps to keep the peace in your mind and brain when things get challenging like this?
Hope you're okay and sending a big hug
Sinead
You also mention that this feeling of invalidation echoes a previous experience with the crisis worker, and how you want to be heard by someone. Your feelings are valid, and you deserve to be heard. What do you think about trying to find someone new to confide in? Either another person at the crisis cafe, or another place perhaps?
We're here to listen to you and what you have to say!