Struggling to cope with the aftermath of ending some friendships

Creativeboy23 · March 9

I am not looking for any solutions. I know that my feelings and thoughts are justifiable, but I just want to feel validated and heard.

Hello.

Even though I do not want to speak to my ex-friends, I have thought about how they have asked my mutual friend to tell me that they do not want me to speak to them anymore but one of them is sending me and deleting her messages which is double standard. I know they probably told me to end my communication with them out of anger because I told them I did not want to continue my friendship with them. However, it does not excuse their behaviour, and the emotional manipulation has been making me feel resentful.

I am considering removing my friends’ numbers and unfriending them on social media. I have been afraid that I will be reacting to the deletion of messages, that they may confront me if they see me, and others will criticise me for my decision. I know that removing contact is a proactive step to take to prioritise my wellbeing so it is unlikely others will criticise me for this step. If they do, it is their opinions and they do not invalidate my decision. I recognise that my ex-friends may confront me but I do not have to engage with them. It has been hard to have my anxious thoughts because others usually focus on my thinking being unhelpful. I am aware that others have probably meant well and wanted to make me aware of my thoughts and encourage me to challenge them, but it has been making it difficult to have my thoughts, exacerbating my anxiety.

I have been anticipating other negative scenarios like others hearing my ex-friends’ side of the story and approaching me about it. I cannot be sure that this will happen or is occurring, but it is reasonable to worry that they could be telling others lies about me and they accept it as truth.

I have done well to cope with the impact of ending my friendships and challenge my thinking and continue with getting on with my life. It shows how resilient I am.