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(TW suicidal thoughts) love isn’t an option for me

bignosegirly0bignosegirly0 Posts: 196 Trailblazer
edited March 11 in Health & Wellbeing
I’m safe. I’ll be heading to the gym with my brother tonight. So I won’t have any chance of hurting myself. Neither do I plan on hurting myself in the future.

No matter what day I’m going through, whether something triggered this thought progress or it randomly pops out of no where, I am constantly followed by this depressing fact that I’ll never experience love.

And this isn’t my low self esteem speaking, this is a genuine fact. There’s so much evidence in my life that proves that I’ll never find love. There’s not much queer woman in this area and all the men around me are disgusted by my appearance.

It makes me wonder whether life is genuinely worth living or not. I wonder whether I’ll be at peace if I actually end my life.

Even though I don’t have any current plans, if I happen to take my own life in the future, I would hope that there would atleast be an alternative universe where I would have found love.

Comments

  • eylaheylah Posts: 6,939 Master Poster
    you will find that right person it just takes time. there is someone out there for you. if you ever need support outside of the mix pls use the helplines as they are there for when your in crisis. your life does matter and you deserve to stay alive.
    ppl dont always need advice. sometimes all they rly need is a hand to hold. an ear to listen. and a heart to understand them. 🧸
  • AzzimanAzziman Moderator, Community Champion Posts: 2,223 Boards Champion
    Hey @bignosegirly0, thank you for sharing how you feel with us. I can hear how this experience of not finding love yet is on your mind a lot. I hope that you can find someone who cares for you and loves you. We're really glad that you're here with us, as part of this community, and we're here to listen to you and support you through this <3

    I'm including some support links below which you might find helpful. Please do reach out to them or us if you need extra support - you deserve to be supported and heard:
    Crisis Messenger (24/7) | text THEMIX to 85258
    Samaritans (24/7) | call 116 123 | email jo@samaritans.org
    Papyrus (2pm-midnight) | call 0800 068 41 41 | text 07786 209 697 | email pat@payrus-uk.org
    Supportline (hours vary) | call 01708 765 200
    Childline | call 0800 11 11
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    I'm a community moderator. I'm here to help guide discussions and make sure Community Guidelines are followed. I can't send DMs, but you can message @TheMix or email community@themix.org.uk with questions or concerns.
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