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Feeling invalidated by a friend
Past User
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It's completely understandable that you might feel invalidated when your emotions aren't acknowledged or respected, even if their intentions were good. Their "chin up" comment, while potentially well-intentioned, sounds like it minimised your struggle and dismissed your emotional response. This, paired with focus on their own challenges, left you feeling unheard and misunderstood. Would this be a correct understanding of the situation?
I would like to remind you that your feelings are valid, and you deserve to be heard and understood. by the people in your life.
How would it feel if you communicated your feelings to your friend in a way that prioritises your needs? You could say something like: "I understand you were trying to be supportive, but your 'chin up' comment made me feel invalidated. I felt like my feelings weren't being taken seriously. Could you try to understand why that comment was hurtful to me?"
Let me know how this feels. Take good care of yourself today
How are you this evening? We are here with you if you would like to talk more about how things have been since this conversation with your friend. Would anything help right now? We are listening and value what you say and feel
Then, when you tried to explain why it wasn't helpful, the response you received left you feeling frustrated and misunderstood. I can hear how it might not have been easy to have that conversation, and well done for having the courage to talk about it, but I can understand that the reply you got didn't help to resolve things.
I'm sorry to hear about how the interaction with your other friend went. Trying to diagnose someone else isn't okay, and I can understand that that comment hurt you a lot. Being criticised in that way sounds like it was harsh, and brought up other feelings from that other friend. It sounds like this other friend is also feeling frustrated, though that doesn't mean it's okay to diagnose someone in this way - that's better left to the professionals. I'm sorry that you felt hurt after being criticised for sensitivity - it's not an inherently bad thing to have, and I can hear that that comment hurt a lot.
I can hear how being removed from the group after this experience makes you feel abandoned and neglected. You have your perspective and emotions, and it sounds like you felt these haven't been listened to or understood. You do deserve to be heard and listened to, it's only fair. From what started as an interaction about one comment, it does sound like things have escalated very quickly from then.
I appreciate it's been a few days since your last reply on here, but I wanted to check in on how you're feeling since this happened? We're here to listen to you and support you through this, and please do let us know how you're getting on