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(TW: suicidal thoughts, self harm, body image) life doesn’t feel worth living
Past User
Posts: 0 Listening Ear
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Comments
I can understand that you're not feeling in a good place right now. It's okay to express your emotions here! I can hear how you're struggling to find a reason to keep going in life, and that you feel frustrated around physical appearance and how people are treated differently based on it. I don't think you're alone in feeling this way - you'd hope that people would treat you fairly, and I don't think it's unreasonable to expect that standard. You do have value and you do deserve respect!
Being mocked about your love life and being treated unfairly due to appearance are awful to go through, and I'm sorry that you've had to go through that. I hear how having body dysmorphia is difficult anyways, but having these experiences as well exacerbate those feelings so much more. To hear how this impacts the hope you hold in the future is upsetting, and makes it clear how much this is weighing on you.
It's clear that you've tried a lot to do something about this - changing your appearance, weight, dress sense - but that it's not giving you the results that you want. It's something that's affecting you a lot, and you're driven to try and do something about it. I wonder, have you spoken to a therapist or counsellor about how you feel? Being able to talk to someone about body dysmorphia and how you feel about yourself and the experiences you've had can be really helpful to lift a weight off your shoulders and perhaps feel a little less alone. Is that something you could consider trying?
I know that you've had experiences related to your physical appearance that have hurt, but from what you've said, it's clear that you're someone who's really trying their best to help themselves and that you expect fair treatment like others. You as a person still have worth and something to contribute, and I hope that you can still hold onto that. We're happy to have you here as part of our community!
I've included some links below to some support services that might be helpful, in case you'd like to speak to someone about how you're feeling:
It is really positive to hear some issues have been resolved. Your feelings are valid and you deserve to feel supported and healed mentally.
Keep holding onto the hope - I know sometimes that can be easier than said than done but you deserve for things to get better. We are here with you along this journey