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Hurtful comments again from my dad and brother

Creativeboy23Creativeboy23 Posts: 328 The Mix Regular
edited September 2023 in Health & Wellbeing


Hello.

I went into the kitchen to put more water bottles in the fridge because I took one out, and then my dad asked you are not putting more bottles in the fridge, are you. So, I was angry because he was listening to what I was doing in the kitchen. He did not need to be concerned with what I was doing. My brother said it is not good to keep things inside when he is responsible because he had judged me for feeling my feelings like he did today. My dad and brother made hurtful comments about my sensitivity. My brother said that he worries about me and that something like people would question my sexuality and would think I am a woman and gay. He told me something like a mainstream partner will not want to stay with you if you are upset over everything. An autistic person probably would, though. My dad said something like my future boss would not say anything behind my back, but they would want to eliminate me. They made the comments sound like they were constructive when they were hurtful. So, I have been left feeling hurt, small, and terrible about myself. I have lost confidence in my new interactions with people. My brother has made these kinds of comments before. They were not concerned about how their remarks made me feel. I am hurting.

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Comments

  • AzzimanAzziman Discussion Boards Moderator Posts: 2,265 Boards Champion
    Hey @Creativeboy23, it sounds like you're feeling really hurt by what your brother and dad said. From what you've said, it looks like they've mentioned a lot of things that can hurt all at once - making unhelpful and negative comments about sensitivity, using sexuality and gender as negative associations for behaviour; and criticising your ability to have a "mainstream" partner or keep a job. Your feelings of hurt are completely valid, because those aren't nice, or necessary, things to say, especially given that this all started over placing a bottle of water in a fridge!

    I want you to know - it's okay to be sensitive, some people are more than others, and that can be a good thing too. Being sensitive isn't only something that gay people, or women, do - men can be sensitive as well. It won't stop you from having a partner (if anything, having emotions and communicating them is a healthy thing to do!), nor will it stop you from holding a job. It is absolutely fine to be sensitive. Whether your brother is trying to look out for you or not, I can't say. But it sounds like either way, the remarks that your brother and dad are making aren't helping at all, but instead hurting you and hurting your confidence, and I'm really sorry to hear that. You don't deserve to be put through that <3

    I want you to know, that it's a brave thing to come on here and share your experience, so well done for doing that. You're always welcome to share your feelings on here, where you'll be listened to and heard. You are fine as you are, and deserve to be loved <3
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  • Katie12Katie12 Posts: 417 Listening Ear
    awww i am sorry this has happened. You feeling hurt by the comments and the situation are to be expected and definitely completely valid.
    @Azziman is so right, being sensitive doesn't at all need to be a negative thing!!
    <3
  • Creativeboy23Creativeboy23 Posts: 328 The Mix Regular

    Hello @Azziman and @Katie12 .

    Thanks for both of your support. I will try to remember those things when I am struggling to cope with future comments. <3<3
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 271 The Mix Regular
    @Creativeboy23 I'm really sorry to hear that you're feeling hurt and upset after the comments made by your dad and brother. It's essential to acknowledge that words can have a significant impact on our emotions, and it's entirely valid for you to feel the way you do. You deserve to be treated with kindness and respect, and it's okay to take steps to protect your feelings and establish a supportive environment for yourself.
  • Creativeboy23Creativeboy23 Posts: 328 The Mix Regular

    Hello @Terry8936.

    Absolutely. The comments have still been affecting me. Whenever they return, I read my alternative thoughts to the remarks, but they do not help.

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