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libby xx
Hey @hastings1066 - you're doing so well by sharing all of this with us. It sounds as though you've potentially had some negative experiences of reaching out to others for support or being picked on by others in the past, would that be fair to say?
You're safe here - this is a judgement free space and we can hear you're having a really tough time at the moment.
I noticed you also mentioned in your last message that your foster mum has been really harsh in the last week or so. Would you like to tell us how you're feeling about that? How has her behaviour changed recently?
You've done a really brave thing by talking about this and we really appreciate your trust today.
Take good care and speak soon,
Harry
I also have a feeling that I am to be giving birth at home without help.
Emily
I have started putting on weight and it won’t be long before other people know that I am pregnant.
I'm really sorry things have been so overwhelming for you and that your body seems to not be adjusting well to the situation. I know you were really scared to talk to the school and social services about the baby's father, how do you feel now that they know?
You did the right thing by being honest about the situation with the school, social services, and the midwife and i'm glad she showed compassion and was understanding of your situation.
It sounds like your foster mother is being emotionally abusive, which again shows that being open about the identity of the father with social services was a good idea.
You are very brave, but even though you are dealing with the situation as best as you can it's completely normal to be scared. Let us know how you've been doing, hopefully social services will handle the situation differently now and you'll receive all the support and care you and your baby deserve.
Sending hugs
My social worker was really shocked and upset she said he has basically sexually abused you to the point that you are now pregnant. She asked if my family knew about the pregnancy I said that the parents did. My foster mother has banned me from talking about the pregnancy in front of him and that I get sent to my room.
My social worker was so upset she said that they are supposed to be looking after you. She said they are worse than your parents. I had a visit today from the out of hours social worker. She was really nice and saw my room she said we are talking to legal next week about rehoming you.
She said that she is very worried about me especially as I am pregnant and only 13. I am really scared about my foster parents reaction when they find out that social know who the baby’s father is.
hope ur morning sickness has gotten a bit bettter.
take care emily
I don’t know why my foster parents don’t want others to do maybe they embarrassed that there son got a 13 year old pregnant. Social services are looking to rehome me and school are looking at reducing my timetable. I told the son two nights ago that I was pregnant by him he said well you will be pregnant again in a year.
My morning sickness is still bad and the heat isn’t helping as I feel really tired.
That also sounds really scary what you experienced with your foster parents son, I'm really sorry to hear he said that to you. Do you know if he meant that he would try to get you pregnant himself in a years time?
We really hope you're doing okay Hastings1066. If you're feeling unsafe at any time, remember social services are there to help you and you can also contact the police by calling 999. They are always just a call away and it's important you're safe as well as your baby too. We really hope you're doing okay and the move to your new home all goes okay too.
Keep posting here whenever you need to, we're all here for you
@aife and libbystrawberry The baby’s dad is determined that in a year I will be pregnant again by him. The son is a year older than
me he will be 15 in 6 months. I am trying to drink more as I am so tired and hot.
Thank you for sharing this with us. I can see how overwhelming this time has been, it seems like so much is going on and it must be difficult to take it all in. I am so pleased to see that you had a positive experience with your midwife and were able to have some open conversation with your social worker. Your bravery and determination is shining through. You are doing a fantastic job of advocating for yourself.
Whether you will deliver the baby at home or in the hospital is a decision to be made between you and your midwife (or any other medical professionals). You deserve to give birth in an environment in which you feel safe and are able to access the best care for yourself and the baby.
It's understandable that you're feeling pretty tired, pregnancy can be exhausting, especially in a situation where you don't feel fully supported. Take some rest where you can, you deserve it. Have you been able to share with your social worker the recent cleaning punishments that your foster mother gave to you? It's important to rely on your support network in times like these.
Take care.
It's commendable that you're here, talking and trying to find a way forward. That takes an enormous amount of energy and courage and you should be proud of yourself.
Goodness.
Edit: also just to reiterate what @Aife said further up:
It must be so difficult that your foster mother is treating you in this way and not believing you and that your foster brother is being abusive towards you. You deserve support and to be treated with care and respect.
I would suggest contacting 999 so you can get some support from the police about what’s happened and make sure that you are getting the help you deserve from social services. Sending you hugs and keep posting in this thread so we can help you through this time
do u feel u've been raped @hastings1066 bcz if u do u should report him to the police,
take care emily and carry on staying hydrated
@libbystrawberry I don’t feel like he raped me as he is the baby’s dad. I feel so useless at the moment, I am growing a baby and I just feel like I want to sleep.
Just wanted to check in to see how you are doing? We are here for you, and it's really brave that you are opening up to us on here about how you are feeling and what is going on for you.
You mention feeling useless, do you want to talk more about what is making you feel useless?
How are you finding the support from school and the social worker?
Here are some services that can help if you would like a confidential place to talk about what is happening for you at home
NSPCC - offers advice, counselling & information to those concerned about a child at risk of abuse, including children and young people themselves. They are open Monday to Friday 8am – 10pm or 9am – 6pm at the weekends on 0808 800 5000, or you can email them at help@nspcc.org.uk. You can also use their online form to report abuse.
Women's Aid - is an organisation working to support the survivors of abuse. They are there for women and children to listen and understand your situation and that you are believed. They have a live chat where you can speak to an experienced volunteer. This is open Monday-Friday 8am-6pm and 10am-6pm on the weekends. You can email them on helpline@womensaid.org.uk.
we also wanted to let you know we've made a minor edit to your thread title to add a trigger warning for sexual violence. You haven't done anything wrong, we sometimes edit thread titles to help make the community safer as there may be others on the community who have been through similar experiences and wanting to know a bit more information about what the thread is about before reading it. You've shown so much courage by reaching out and we'd encourage you to keep posting.
Sending hugs and letting you know we all care about you
"Like when I was down you just had that smile that made me feel like everything's worthwhile. Thinking of the day when you went away, what a life to take, what a bond to break, I'll be missing you"
I'm a community moderator. I'm here to help guide discussions and make sure Community Guidelines are followed. I can't send DMs, but you can message @TheMix or email community@themix.org.uk with questions or concerns.
yes he is the babys dad but did u let him have sex with u? or was he kinda pushy and did u feel like u owed him bcz he is the father of ur baby @hastings1066
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He is kind of pushy and I guess I did feel like I owed him.
Tomorrow I have school and a meeting with two social workers. I really don’t want to go. I am going to have a baby and the last thing I is social workers poking holes in everything.