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Feeling down and upset
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Post edited by JustV on
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How are you feeling about it all today? If you'd like to chat it through then we're absolutely here. I'm echoing @Xee - we all see the effort that you've put in.
Hey @Creativeboy23 - it sounds like receiving the feedback had its impact on you. It's not a nice feeling when someone is critical of our work when, as you say, we put in lots of time and effort into producing a good output - I don't think you're alone in feeling that. Having said that, I'd probably place in this into context - the staff member is pointing out errors in your work to let you know where you need to improve. That doesn't discredit the effort or time you've put into the piece, nor is it a comment on who you are as a person - you're still as awesome as before!
I know it isn't always easy to take critical feedback when it's put bluntly like that, but it's an important skill to learn to do so. University staff (and people in general!) may have different approaches in how they communicate their comments and we can't control that, but I'd keep in mind that the reason they want to do so is so that they can help you to improve your work and become better at the subject. What we can control is how we respond to it, and the best thing you can do is take it on and use it to improve your work. Take pride in what you've done well, and make it even better with these comments, so you can get an even better score next time
it's important to remember that your self-worth is not tied to your portfolio or your ability to receive feedback. It's natural to feel inferior when seeing others in relationships, but it's important to focus on your own journey and not compare yourself to others. You are worthy and valuable just as you are, and you don't need to be in a relationship to prove that.
I'm sorry you've been struggling and I see you've been having a difficult time dealing with criticism and with not finding the opportunity to comfortably look out for support using CALM or SHOUT. I'm glad you chose to reach out for help using The Mix.
Dealing with criticism can be very hard and i'm sorry both your brother and your professor are pushing you to express your feelings differently. Maybe doing something like journaling could help you process the negative feelings better and help you deal with them in a healthier way.
Would having some place you could use to get advice and write down your feelings when you cannot call CALM or SHOUT help? Here are some resources that could help you manage your mental health when calling helplines is not an option
There is a free mobile app called Catch It. It aims to help users better understand their moods through use of an ongoing diary and uses CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) techniques to help users manage negative thoughts. You can get it on the App Store (Apple) or Google Play (Android). You can find out more here https://www.liverpool.ac.uk/csd/app-directory/catch-it/
Every Mind Matters offers practical help and advice on how to cope with your mental health and looking after yourself. They offer support for anxiety, low mood, stress, sleep as well as advice for parents and carers on how to support your children and self care tips for young people. Their 'Mind Plan' is a function that offers support tailored to you. Their website is https://www.nhs.uk/oneyovoicesu/every-mind-matters/ . They also have a dedicated page, specifically about coronavirus and how to look after your mental wellbeing.
Let us know how you've been feeling
Sorry to hear u haven't been feeling too great. My easter break has been pretty shitty too tbh.
Being thick skinned can be really difficult, and while harsh feedback is something we can get used to over time it can still be really stressful and upsetting sometimes. It's human to feel disappointed or disheartened by negative feedback and I'm sure your mentor meant well but you aren't expected at all to supress your feelings. Maybe it was a bit of miscommunication? I'm sure he wants to support you but he probably just phrased it in the wrong way or had the wrong approach.
Have you tried doing something calming to wind down before bed? I know it sounds kinda obvious and it isn't always helpful but personally doing a bit of sudoku before bed really helps me because it distracts me from negative thoughts and calms me down. I know that sounds a little nerdy and probably a bit weird but maybe something similar could help u? Getting a good amount of sleep is really important!! Also please make sure you're trying your best to stay hydrated because that can also make a huge difference.
I'm sorry to hear about the way your brother and dad have been treating you, that sounds really awful. I hate the fact people still have the mindset that men can't be upset and emotional, it's such bullshit. Is there anyone else in your life who u feel comfortable opening up to? Any friends who you'd feel comfortable enough with? You don't even need to open up to them, you just need to be able to hang out with them without feeling like you need to supress your emotions or hide them in their presence. Also how old is your brother if u don't mind me asking? I'm just curious.
But it's great you've felt like you can speak to SHOUT and CALM for support! Maybe go for a walk and then you can call the helpline? That's what I do since there's also no privacy in my house. I just say I'm going to go walk the dog or something.
Again, sorry to hear you've been feeling so awful, I know it really sucks. But you're doing really well and you aren't alone, we're all here for you! Sending hugs