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feeling bad for others
ellie2000
Posts: 3,972 Community Veteran
something hpns n i feel i hav to comfort whoever it is, how do i comfort myself without using distraction techniques
Crazy mad insane
1
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I hope that you're doing well and that the New Year is getting of to a good, or at least an okay, start for you.
From your message, it sounds to me as though you're wondering how you can take care of yourself when your also taking care of other people in your life. Have I heard that right, Ellie?
You've also mentioned in your message that you sometimes use distraction techniques to help you to cope with feeling bad for others - is that right? I wondered if you'd like to tell me a little bit more about what some of those distraction techniques are? Is there anything that you find particularly helpful, Ellie?
I'm also hearing that you want to try to move away from using those techniques, and I'm wondering if there's anything in particular that's making you feel as though you shouldn't be relying on them to distract yourself when things become a little bit much? Some distraction techniques can be healthier than others for sure, but it sounds to me as though you're quite aware of the things that work for you and help you to manage those difficult feelings which is a great starting point in exploring how you can manage your feelings going forwards.
Take care of yourself, Ellie, and we'll speak again soon.
See you around,
Harry
I think coming onto your point about not just being distracted is important. At a certain point we have a need to confront our emotions and anguish rather than push them away into a box.
1) Some people find directly writing out their thoughts and emotions useful, so they are not ignoring them and letting them fester.
2) Talking to people who really get you is great too, which is why I love how much you post on here with us
3) Some people also try meditation-body type exercises where they allow themselves to think about painful thoughts and situations and see how their body responds: i.e., does your heart race? do you feel groggy? etc... and once you've figured that out, you can try to address those physical feelings as well as the emotional. For me, when i am deeply anxious about traumatic events my heart races and i feel nauseaous and I have been able to use ice blocks to literally calm my body.
It would be great to know more about how your body responds to think about some ways to directly address it?
I'm glad you can at least find some solace in cats
When do you feel most at peace around other people? x
In relation to your question I think it might take a bit longer than 6 hours to properly get to know someone. First impressions do count but sometimes people can come across a certain way at first eg shy/quiet but actually after a while turn out to be the complete opposite.
I believe sometimes you can also have a “gut feeling” after a few hours whether or not that type of person is for you or not
How are you getting along with the new people so far? Do you feel as if you have things in common?
Have a great day
Hope this makes sense ok