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idek
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Comments
-Vinnie
It seems like after experiencing so much painful loss, you are looking for that safety in someone else who can understand, and i think this is a really brave thing to do. Not everyone can be vulnerable enough to say they need human connection, and here you are asking for it so strongly.
Sometimes, it can help to just talk about the person you love, even when you cannot be with them in person. So, how about you tell me the best things about your cousin? What makes her feel so safe to you?
Thank you for sharing with us and by no means are you pathetic in any way. It's good to cry to release trapped emotion and there is no right or wrong with that. I feel like I can relate to you, having some deep-rooted abandonment issues has meant that I hate goodbyes. Even if it is just a goodbye for a month, whenever I have spent a couple of days with my mum or my partner, I still cry when I leave them even though it won't be that long until I see them again. You have lost your step-mum, whether you are still grieving or not, this sounds like it has left you with some internal trauma so that it feels like they are leaving you for good, and you are suffering the loss over and over. I know this is easier said than done, but try to appreciate the positive in this, that you have someone who is so special to you, who is your safe person. It sounds like you have a really special relationship with your cousin.
Be gentle with yourself and please don't think you are pathetic