How should parents respond to their child coming out?

AislingDM · May 23

this is similar to my question from a few weeks ago about how parents should handle other conversations! I know this probably sounds like an obvious answer like 'be kind and accepting', which is definitely true! But, I just wanted to give the opportunity for people to tell us about anything their parents/guardians/adults in their life did to make them feel good and safe.

Mike · May 24

This barely qualifies, but I've had some conversations with my friends and partner about my gender and sexuality. Nothing high-stakes; just that I was moving away from binary labels.

But in those conversations, the people I spoke to were just... chill. And that's really what I needed. In my experience, people tend to appreciate not treating coming out like a big deal unless it's a big deal in their mind anyway - in which case a bit of celebration can be fun!

Owl · May 26

being bi myself but also not having come out to my family yet and only a few friends... i think the best thing can be like one day or so of it being a big deal, like wow we're so proud of you, we'll love you no matter who you love etc. but then if the rest of the time it isnt a big deal and its just really casual, like how people who are straight dont have their sexuality rubbed in all the time, it just "is"

but like Mike says, if that's what someone wants, any excuse for a celebration!!!

Owl · May 26

like, being true to yourself is the achievement and what you should absolutely be proud of and celebrate!!!! and thats why i think a short while of big deal and then rest of your life as not a big deal is the way to go, because you can choose to be true to yourself (come out to your loved ones, not hide who you are) but your sexuality isnt within your control at all - and judging traits that people cant help (good or bad!) is a pathway to 1939

Laura_tigger82 · May 29

Thanks for sharing this with us @Owl. Your tips are really insightful.

It is very important to be true to yourself! No matter what 'yourself' might look like to others

AislingDM · May 30

Very true @Mike !! I reckon sometimes the 'simplest' response can be the most comforting because something that is quite daunting and that has been, understandably, built up in your head is received well by the people you love. It can be especially comforting when we feel a lot of fear about how others will look at us, right?

Definitely @Owl because as you say some people are excited to celebrate being themselves proudly and sometimes that definitely involves a big celebration with loved ones, because we know that people still love us. I think giving people a range of options is cool, like being chilled as you say but then also saying like if you want to throw a party we can defo do that !!

How should parents respond to their child coming out?

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