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Things are hard (TW)

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    Laura_tigger82Laura_tigger82 Moderator Posts: 5,107 Part of The Furniture
    How can we help to make it a good day @independent_?

    What usually makes days good for you? :3
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    independent_independent_ Community Champion Posts: 8,615 Legendary Poster
    Not sure tbh. Don’t know what will improve it apart from my brain behaving. Which it might or might not.
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
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    Laura_tigger82Laura_tigger82 Moderator Posts: 5,107 Part of The Furniture
    In that case, let's just hope your brain does behave today @independent_ <3

    Look after yourself. That should hopefully make your brain behave :)
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    independent_independent_ Community Champion Posts: 8,615 Legendary Poster
    I have to force myself to be social tonight. Not feeling up to it tbh. Ugh
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
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    Laura_tigger82Laura_tigger82 Moderator Posts: 5,107 Part of The Furniture
    How could you make it more manageable @independent_? :)
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    Lucy307Lucy307 Posts: 1,171 Wise Owl
    Hey @independent_ just dropping by to send you big hugs. So sorry to hear you are struggling at the moment. I wanted to say I think you are doing the right thing sharing with us and posting here, you never have to apologise for posting. We really care about you and are here for you 💜
    Treat yourself as you would treat a good friend
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    independent_independent_ Community Champion Posts: 8,615 Legendary Poster
    Thanks both @Laura_tigger82 @Lucy307 it wasn’t as bad as I thought and I didn’t stay for that long. It was just my sister and her boyfriend, was nice to see them for a bit and give them their christmas presents. They were mostly speaking to my parents anyways. So it was alright.
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
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    Laura_tigger82Laura_tigger82 Moderator Posts: 5,107 Part of The Furniture
    Hey @independent_

    I am glad to hear it went better than you first thought! <3

    It sounds lovely that you got to spend time with your sister and her boyfriend :)
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    independent_independent_ Community Champion Posts: 8,615 Legendary Poster
    edited December 2021
    I have such an impending sense of doom right now. I feel like if something can go wrong, it will go wrong and I don’t feel remotely festive at all, and if you know me you know that isn’t like me. Life in general is just so shit with all the covid news and everything else that’s going on and I think that’s contributed to how I’ve been feeling. A meltdown of sorts. Idk.
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
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    Laura_tigger82Laura_tigger82 Moderator Posts: 5,107 Part of The Furniture
    Hi @independent_

    Sorry to hear you are struggling :/

    Unfortunately, we aren't in control of the world outside.

    What we can do though is control the world inside.

    Is there anything in particular that helps you to feel happy and calm when the world feels unsafe and unpredictable?

    For me, that is time with family and self-care (warm baths, colouring, and listening to music).

    One positive is that you have recognised how you are feeling which is such an important step forwards in the right direction! :)
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    independent_independent_ Community Champion Posts: 8,615 Legendary Poster
    @Laura_tigger82 thank you. I don’t know how to feel better. I can use distraction techniques like listening to music etc but they don’t fix the problem and only work for so long. That’s just it, I feel like I’m totally losing control and I hate that.
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
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    independent_independent_ Community Champion Posts: 8,615 Legendary Poster
    I suppose as it gets closer to Christmas the festivities will be a distraction, but I always, every single year, feel worse after Christmas is over. So it’s like I know that’s coming too and I’m not in control of that either. Guess I’m just overwhelmed.
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
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    Laura_tigger82Laura_tigger82 Moderator Posts: 5,107 Part of The Furniture
    I completely hear you and understand @independent_ <3

    I am really sorry to hear you are struggling.

    Predicting you could feel worse after Christmas will of course add to your difficulties :/

    Is there anything, in particular, you struggle with after Christmas?

    And is there anything we could put in place to make that easier for you?

    Have you got access to mental health support? :3

    We are here to listen to you.

    I hope you find the Christmas festivities a distraction! <3
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    independent_independent_ Community Champion Posts: 8,615 Legendary Poster
    Thank you @Laura_tigger82 I don’t know why I always feel worse. I guess because there’s so much build up and it provides a decent distraction, so when it’s all over that distraction is gone. It happens every year and I’ve never found anything that helps.

    I don’t have any support right now and I don’t know if my GP is back at work yet. They’re probably closed quite a bit over the next week or so with all the bank holidays too. So I don’t know when I’d be able to get more support. Right now all I have is this thread, other forums and helplines until I know for sure my GP is back. Maybe I’m just being stubborn but I really don’t want to speak to another GP.
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
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    Laura_tigger82Laura_tigger82 Moderator Posts: 5,107 Part of The Furniture
    Hi @independent_

    I am really sorry to hear you don't have support in place at the moment. Hopefully, you will be able to get a GP appointment soon.

    In the meantime, I think it would be good if we could help you to make a list of things you could distract yourself with post-Christmas.

    I hear that television is something you enjoy, could we split this further into TV programmes and films you are looking forward to watching?

    Is there anything other than television that you enjoy?
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    independent_independent_ Community Champion Posts: 8,615 Legendary Poster
    I like music and TV for distractions. And being on here helps especially chat.

    I guess it’s going to be a case of take my mind off everything over christmas (somehow)
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
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    Laura_tigger82Laura_tigger82 Moderator Posts: 5,107 Part of The Furniture
    Do you have a list of TV shows you would like to watch @independent_ ?

    Just wondering if you could make a list of TV shows to watch and try to watch one at a time, outside of the chat availability.

    For me, structuring my time works well. Is this something that could work for you too? :)
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    independent_independent_ Community Champion Posts: 8,615 Legendary Poster
    I have had a somewhat better day today and I’m grateful for that but I can’t help but feel like I’m just masking everything with christmas distractions. Like I’m hiding behind celebrating, relaxing with wine and chocolate and then, I still can’t get the bad thoughts out of the back of my head. Sure I can distract with nice things but it never worked for long.
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
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    *BananaMonkey**BananaMonkey* Posts: 5,462 Part of The Furniture
    Hey @independent_

    Just wanted to check in to see how you are doing today? Sorry to hear you are struggling :heart:

    We care about you and are here for you :heart:

    Sending hugs :smile:
    " And everywhere I am, there you'll be, your love made me make it through, oh I owe so much to you "
    " So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
    '' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
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    Laura_tigger82Laura_tigger82 Moderator Posts: 5,107 Part of The Furniture
    Hi @independent_

    I am sorry to hear you are struggling with your thoughts. Is this something you have told your GP about? Mind has some information about dealing with negative thoughts that you might find useful. If you are interested, you can find it at https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/your-stories/tackling-negative-thoughts-with-distraction/

    I am really glad to hear you have found distractions that help you to have better days! You deserve to enjoy Christmas but you also deserve support with the difficult thoughts you are experiencing. From what I am hearing, it sounds like distractions work like a plaster for you but that you could benefit from some longer-term mental health support to manage the underlying causes of your difficult thoughts which is okay. It is okay not to be okay. Do you know where you may access this support? <3
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    independent_independent_ Community Champion Posts: 8,615 Legendary Poster
    Going to bring this back up as what I’m going to say is along the same lines.

    I’ve had a tough few days just feeling low and I can feel my brain heading backwards into destruction mode again. I don’t think my meds are doing much but the stubborn part of me doesn’t want to change again because of all the side effects last time from withdrawal and changing to the new med. I want to withdraw from society right now tbh. Don’t know what to do with myself.
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
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    BrookeeBrookee Posts: 1,327 Wise Owl
    Hey @independent_ ,

    I'm so sorry to hear you're struggling right now! It's understandable to not want to change medication, particularly when each one affects us differently throughout the adjustment period. I think if you feel like your mental health is getting worse, it may be helpful to discuss this with your GP, and let them know about your worries around changing medication. They may suggest you stay on the one your on and also put you on a low dose of another, and slowly wean you off the other one. It's okay to want to retreat away from people when you're struggling, just know we're always here for you, and there are of course mental health services like The Samaritans and SHOUT to talk to whenever you need. Do you feel able to tell us more about how you're feeling?
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    Laura_tigger82Laura_tigger82 Moderator Posts: 5,107 Part of The Furniture
    Hi @independent

    Thanks for reaching out to us. We really don't want you to have to go through this, or anything else, on your own.

    It looks like @Brookee has already provided you with some wonderful support and contacts! If you would like to talk to us more about this, please feel free, we are here for you with listening ears.

    Do you know why you are feeling low and wanting to withdraw from society? We are here for you if you want to talk to us about that or about anything else.

    We are so proud of you that despite wanting to destruct, you have instead reached out for support. That is the first sign of being brave and having hope when things are tough.

    Sending you hugs! <3
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    independent_independent_ Community Champion Posts: 8,615 Legendary Poster
    Thank you @Brookee @Laura_tigger82 sorry I took a while to reply my niece has been visiting and I’ve been very stressed again.

    I can’t quite figure out what’s wrong with me but I’ve been feeling very anxious lately which really isn’t helping with the destructive thoughts. I thought I had control of my anxiety but turns out I really don’t. Last night I got myself into a right state because I’d not had a moment to myself all weekend with my niece being there and the only thing that got me out of it was blasting loud music through my headphones.
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
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    Laura_tigger82Laura_tigger82 Moderator Posts: 5,107 Part of The Furniture
    Hi @independent_

    Thanks for reaching out to us. I always appreciate how much courage it must take to reach out.

    I am really sorry to hear you have been stressed again. I can imagine anxiety is difficult to deal with. Do you know strategies for managing your anxiety? For me, it is largely about grounding techniques and trying to stay present. Some people also find scents, watch comfort programmes/movies and writing help. Different things work for different people but I hope you have some strategies for yourself to feel better.

    I can hear that whilst you are not certain about what has made you feel anxious, you have struggled with a busy weekend. Are you able to spend some time with yourself now? I hope you can have some space and time for yourself. Music sounds like a great strategy and it is indeed one that helps me too. Additionally, this is only a short-term strategy which means I am wondering if there could be a longer-term strategy. For example, could you tell your family that as much as you love and care about your niece you would find it more manageable if other people shared the childcare or they visited for a shorter amount of time?

    Please remember we are always here for you and listening to you <3
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    BrookeeBrookee Posts: 1,327 Wise Owl
    @independent_ There's no worries at all, take as much time as you need. It's understandable that not being aware of what's triggering an increase in your anxiety would lead to further distressing thoughts. I think this time of year is difficult anyway because we have less daylight, and it's colder so we can't do what we normally would want to. Anxiety is such a complex disorder as well, It fluctuates at the weirdest times, but I just want to say that I think you're doing amazing, being self-aware can be really difficult, so being aware of when this is occurring is really great. I know it's not necessarily helpful in dealing with the anxiety and negative thoughts, but it can be really tricky to pinpoint when it's happening. Is there anything you find helpful to calm the anxiety when it becomes overwhelming? Can you tell me more about what happened before you noticed you'd become anxious?

    It's also really strong of you to find ways to help yourself during such a difficult time. It must've been quite exhausting not being able to have alone time to recuperate from constant socialising. I just wanted to check in and see how things have been throughout today? <3
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