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Headaches

Kate_20Kate_20 Posts: 606 Incredible Poster
I have a headache from reading too many lines. I cannot afford to stop because I have to write this dissertation. Nothing helps at this stage. Having water doesn't help. Everything is so noisy and I can't cope.
Tengo el alma en cuarentena y roto el cuerpo
Qué dolor, qué pena y qué tormento
El Kanka - Lo mal que estoy y lo poco que me quejo

Comments

  • MikeMike 🚀🌌 In my own worldCommunity Manager Posts: 4,028 Community Veteran
    Playing devil's advocate @Kate_20, I wonder if your productivity would increase after a break?

    We often see breaks as wasting time, but they enable us to function. I'm guilty of it too - I'll stare at my computer for two hours sloooooowly working through tasks, when really I'd be much more productive if I took a screen break or went for a walk and then came back. What took me two hours before would probably take me 20 minutes properly rested and focused. :)

    Productivity aside though, your health matters. Your wellbeing matters. You matter. If the deadline is so tight that you don't feel you can take a break at all, can you get an extension?
    All behaviour is a need trying to be met.

    Want to join the community champions? Drop @TheMix a message!
  • Kate_20Kate_20 Posts: 606 Incredible Poster
    @Mike I don't think extensions will be allowed. I already fought so hard for the one (I nearly died and it is not exaggeration) I had right now but my parents think that I don't need this. They think that I just did not work hard enough. They were also quarrelling quite often in the apartment. I feel guilty as I am the cause of their unhappiness. I am not qualified enough to complain because I cannot help them share the burden. I think it is better that I kill myself. I just need to wait for a time that they are not at home.
    Tengo el alma en cuarentena y roto el cuerpo
    Qué dolor, qué pena y qué tormento
    El Kanka - Lo mal que estoy y lo poco que me quejo
  • MikeMike 🚀🌌 In my own worldCommunity Manager Posts: 4,028 Community Veteran
    I believe you @Kate_20. :) Sounds like it was a real journey to get this extension, and I don't want to overlook the huge feat of continuing to study after nearly dying (to use your words). It would have been very reasonable of you to quit uni when things got really bad.

    Is it worth asking about another extension? If one is possible, I wonder if it could lift some of this pressure you're feeling. You have a right to at least ask for what you need.

    I quit college in my third year because I wasn't happy and couldn't manage it. Everyone around me made me feel super guilty about it at the time (except my parents, thankfully) but it ended up being the best decision I ever made for myself. It's okay to do whatever's right for you.
    ...my parents think that I don't need this. They think that I just did not work hard enough. They were also quarrelling quite often in the apartment. I feel guilty as I am the cause of their unhappiness. I am not qualified enough to complain because I cannot help them share the burden.
    Eesh, it sounds like your parents are giving you a tough time. As if the pressure of studying isn't bad enough without your family piling it on too huh. :(

    One thing I would say is that you're not the cause of their unhappiness. They might say that and they might make you feel like you're the cause, but you haven't made them unhappy. If they really are unhappy because of how you're approaching uni, how you're managing your wellbeing, or anything else to do with your life and your decisions, that's kinda on them. You have the right to live your own life, make your own choices, learn, and grow without their judgement.

    I know it's tricky when it's family, because we love them in our own ways and want them to be happy too. But what someone places their happiness on is their own decision. I'm not sure how helpful this is - it's just something I learned as I got a bit older.
    I think it is better that I kill myself. I just need to wait for a time that they are not at home.
    For what it's worth, I think the world would be better with you in it, @Kate_20. :star: And I'd really encourage you to talk to someone about thoughts of suicide. There are always people out there who genuinely want to help - you don't have to be alone if you don't want to be:
    Crisis Messenger (24/7) | text THEMIX to 85258
    Samartians (24/7) | call 116 123 | email [email protected]
    Papyrus (2pm-midnight) | call 0800 068 41 41 | text 07786 209 697 | email [email protected]
    Supportline (hours vary) | call 01708 765 200
    While The Mix isn't a crisis support service, would it help to talk about ways you might be able to keep yourself safe from those suicidal thoughts?
    All behaviour is a need trying to be met.

    Want to join the community champions? Drop @TheMix a message!
  • coc0maccoc0mac Posts: 1,058 Wise Owl
    Hi @Kate_20

    I did my dissertation in 2021, so not too long ago at all. I remember the bad headaches, feeling unable to stop, and I also described everything feeling so noisy. This, as well as the pressure from your parents and anything else you have going on, must be so tough. Sending so much love to you :heart:

    I'd love to echo everything Mike has said. You absolutely are not the cause of their unhappiness - no matter how it may feel. I can hear how difficult this is for you, so you do deserve an extension. I know you are working hard - I know this because you made this post. It shows you care :heart:

    I'm wondering if you'd feel comfortable speaking to your university to see what your options are? This may be an extension, or it could be other ways of supporting you. A friend of mine spoke to our lecturers about her mental health, and she was given support options that I didn't know were available. So that could be helpful :blush:

    You could also speak to Student Minds. Of course, we are right here to support you. I'm just wondering if they could provide additional support more related to student mental health.

    I'm also conscious that you may not be looking for practical support. Perhaps you just want to speak to us about how you are feeling. That's totally okay too - we are right here to listen and lighten the load :heart:

    I'd like to echo Mike's crisis links too. It can feel so tough being wrapped up in challenges and difficult thoughts. But I really believe that things can, and do, get better. There are people who have been in your exact position, but who have found a way to survive and flourish. They have gone on to find happiness, light and fulfilment in life; something they never thought possible before. I really believe you can do this too - and we are right here to support you along the way.

    Take good care :heart:

  • Laura_tigger82Laura_tigger82 Moderator Posts: 2,909 Boards Guru
    Hi @Kate_20

    Thanks for reaching out to us. I always appreciate how much courage it must take to reach out.

    I am really pleased to see all the wonderful support already offered.

    It has been a few days since your post now though so I wanted to check in with you to ask how are you? <3
    I'm a community moderator. I represent The Mix on the discussion boards and I'm here to help guide discussions, make sure everything is within guidelines, and take care of the housekeeping. I can't send or receive private messages, but you can message @TheMix or email [email protected] with any questions or concerns and the team will get back to you.

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