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My parents said that I am useless if I don't go to work
Kate_20
Posts: 653 Incredible Poster
My parents said that I am useless if I don't go to work. They also blamed me for my messed up sleeping patterns. They said that they are afraid that I'll be using their money forever. They also blamed me for my extension and also compared me to my classmates.
Tengo el alma en cuarentena y roto el cuerpo
Qué dolor, qué pena y qué tormento
El Kanka - Lo mal que estoy y lo poco que me quejo
Qué dolor, qué pena y qué tormento
El Kanka - Lo mal que estoy y lo poco que me quejo
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I had to balance life as a student athlete in North America and that was damn hard but everyone around me was doing the same - and we all wanted to be there. It was also a release because I enjoyed my sport and being with my teammates.
Take your time - find your own path. Not everyone in life has the same path, so even though they may compare you to your classmates, remember you are all unique and don't compare yourself to them.
Your parents can say what they like - it's horrible, I know, but they probably won't change their views on this matter. It's like what their parents thought about them when they were your age. Not an excuse, just probably an insight. Don't listen to them, don't let it hurt you.
You're unique, you're your own person and you're doing damn well. Don't listen to anyone who tells you otherwise
(_) | ()---|---() | | __ | __ |\ /^\ /| '..-' '-..' `-._ _.-` `I'm sorry to hear that your parents have been saying this to you. "Useless" is a very unkind word and is simply not true
Everybody is on their own path and has different experiences at school (and everything in life for that matter). Therefore, it is unfair of them to compare you to your classmates. You need to do what is right for you. Sometimes, what's right for you is asking for an extension. What's right for you, and a large majority of students, may be to focus on school without the additional responsibility of work. And that is all perfectly okay. That does not make you useless in the slightest. It makes you human
There is plenty of time to get into work and start earning your own money. So you can prove them wrong about using their money forever - but only when the time is right. There is no rush. You have time. You're doing great.
Take good care
Thanks for reaching out to us. I always appreciate how much courage it must take to reach out.
I am so sorry your parents said these cruel words to you. Unfortunately, their words seemed to be fueled by capitalism which is a common view in our society but that does not mean it is true.
You have been experiencing such a tough time recently. Despite your struggles, you have been able to name your feelings and reach out for support because you are trying to develop more positive strategies.
We can see how much you are trying. We will do anything within our power to support you to get to where you want to be. Though it may take some time and that is okay.
I am really proud of you for getting an extension because I know how much you were resisting accessing this support despite needing it. The fact that you tried to carry on and reached out for an extension shows you want to complete your degree.
A degree is not everything, it does not define you. However, a degree is a key contributor in enabling you to access the future you want and deserve.
Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and remember we are always here for you, listening to you and caring about you
Qué dolor, qué pena y qué tormento
El Kanka - Lo mal que estoy y lo poco que me quejo
I understand you've said before that it's hard to place boundaries with your parents, are you able to tell them how what they've been saying has effected you? It's really upsetting to read how difficult things are for you right now Kate, and I'm so sorry.
You are worth a lot more than the opinions of others, you matter because you're you, and you deserve love and support, particularly when you're struggling. Have you been able to contact your GP or any of the helplines available to help you talk through these emotions you're feeling (SHOUT 85258, The Samaritans 116 123)?
Sending you so much love, you are worthy, and you don't deserve to feel this way or be made to feel like you've been feeling
You only get extensions when you need them so you deserve the extension. I am sorry to hear your parents don't perceive it in the same way though. We think you are amazing for still trying!
As @Brookee said, there are services here for you like Shout, Samaritans and Papyrus. We are always listening to you and care about you too. We'll do anything we can to help.
I can't wait until you have submitted and we get to celebrate you as a recent graduate! Despite everything you have been going through and feeling, you are really courageous and still putting one foot in front of the other