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I got a job offer, yet i dont feel excited at all

La_LaLa_La PLANET MARSPosts: 136 The Mix Convert
Hello! Firstly, I'd like to thank you all for your support regarding the burnout I faced whilst searching for a job. Finally, I got an offer for an apprenticeship. However, there is an issue. A
Although the job has good benefits such as training, and giving me a good space to develop various soft skills such as communication, support, teaching and behavior management; I just don't feel excited about the job role at all. As I have many documents to do, I'm shoving those to the side for today so then I can work out my thoughts on the matter. It's not like I'd hate to do the job it's just that I am so used to having a terrible time when doing new things and the fear of the unknown is definitely eating me alive. And although this job is a great first step to the future, it's definitely millions of miles away from my dreams (which i cant afford training for just yet).

May I ask what kinds of skills are good to use when starting a new job, so then I can give myself a nice mental boost? I think I need a bit of help with positive thinking.
~ Dreamer ~
Tagged:
Brookeelovemimoon

Comments

  • BrookeeBrookee East Midlands Posts: 834 Part of The Mix Family
    Hi @La_La

    First of all, congrats on getting an apprenticeship, that's a huge step and you're doing amazing. Secondly, it's okay that you're not enthusiastic about it right now, it seems like you've had some bad experiences with beginning new things, so it's only natural that you'd be anxious and worried that this apprenticeship may end the same way. It can be really hard to navigate new environments, particularly when you prefer having routines or familiar situations, however, it's important that you are aware of how great you're doing! You are trying your best and that's all anyone can ask for.

    Take as much time as you need to figure this out. It's common for our brains to go into overdrive when starting something new and unfamiliar, but this apprenticeship could be really beneficial for you. It really depends on whether you think there's more pros or cons to taking part in this apprenticeship. Your mental health and feelings are more important at the end of the day.

    I think as long as you're open minded to the work you have to take part in and are willing to communicate with other people, you should be okay. All other skills can be developed within the apprenticeship, so try not to worry too much about that.

    Sending you lots of love <3
    La_Lalovemimoon
  • La_LaLa_La PLANET MARSPosts: 136 The Mix Convert
    @Brookee
    Thank you. Your words really mean a lot, it's so helpful to read this because sometimes I don't really have the clarity to sort through jumbled thoughts that I get in situations such as this, and your response clarified things so well.

    Honestly, thanks again. This was really helpful. :3
    ~ Dreamer ~
    Brookee
  • lovemimoonlovemimoon 🦋 Posts: 2,302 Boards Champion
    Heya @La_La

    Firstly, congratulations!
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    @Brookee pretty much nailed it! <3

    When it comes to approaching a new work environment, it can be very intimidating, and your reaction's completely understandable! :3

    Take your time to figure things out. Remember that you're navigating and adjusting to this new environment so mistakes will happen. Don't be afraid to ask for clarification if you're unsure about something. :3
    Breathing exercises help as well! There have been moments where I felt really overwhelmed by the work environment so I would sneak to the bathroom and do breathing exercises until I'm ready to go.

    Good luck with everythiiiing! <3
    BrookeeLa_La
  • BrookeeBrookee East Midlands Posts: 834 Part of The Mix Family
    @La_La Of course! Whatever I can do to help, I understand it can be a very overwhelming time so It's completely okay that things were a little hard to unjumble. We're always here for you, sometimes it's just easier to have someone outside of the situation to weigh in.

    You're really doing incredible, I'm super proud of you!!
    La_La
  • AzzimanAzziman The Mix convert Posts: 1,187 Wise Owl
    La_La wrote: »
    Hello! Firstly, I'd like to thank you all for your support regarding the burnout I faced whilst searching for a job. Finally, I got an offer for an apprenticeship. However, there is an issue. A
    Although the job has good benefits such as training, and giving me a good space to develop various soft skills such as communication, support, teaching and behavior management; I just don't feel excited about the job role at all. As I have many documents to do, I'm shoving those to the side for today so then I can work out my thoughts on the matter. It's not like I'd hate to do the job it's just that I am so used to having a terrible time when doing new things and the fear of the unknown is definitely eating me alive. And although this job is a great first step to the future, it's definitely millions of miles away from my dreams (which i cant afford training for just yet).

    May I ask what kinds of skills are good to use when starting a new job, so then I can give myself a nice mental boost? I think I need a bit of help with positive thinking.

    First of all, huge congratulations! It's a big achievement to secure a role, especially at the moment, so you've more than earned your spot. I definitely feel you on the the fear of the unknown, and in any new role, it'll be quite a bit of getting up to speed and finding your feet. As you're new to the role, you might feel impostor syndrome, or feel like you don't know enough. And your employer will completely understand - after all, it's a new routine, a new team, a new set of skills to pick up. So take your time to familiarise yourself and find your way around things. You'll pick things up slowly but surely. But funnily enough, that's exactly what I find is the most valuable skill to have when starting a new job - the thirst for knowledge. Spend time understanding your role, your team, your industry. Ask questions on things you don't get, or want to learn. Show that hunger to learn, and it'll serve you really well.

    Some skills that'll help with this are: communication (ask your team members for help or understanding); proactivity (if you find yourself light on work, approach your colleagues to see where you can help); organisation (find a way to make notes that works for you).

    I'm sure that you'll do great in your new role. But of course, you can PM me if you have any questions, as I can understand it can all feel quite new! x
    lovemimoonLa_La
  • La_LaLa_La PLANET MARSPosts: 136 The Mix Convert
    @Azziman Thank you!! This is a wonderful reply, I really appreciate the information. I see, so the key is a willingness to learn and grow. This is great information.
    Yes it really does feel brand new, I feel a bit out of my depth with work XD
    ~ Dreamer ~
  • La_LaLa_La PLANET MARSPosts: 136 The Mix Convert
    @lovemimoon Thank you :3 This is really solid advice. Yes, breathing exercises are an awesome recommendation ^^ I really appreciate it.
    Thanks, I will make sure to ask for clarification when confused. I agree, its definitely necessary!
    ~ Dreamer ~
  • AislingDMAislingDM Posts: 610 Moderator
    As has been said, absolutely huge congratulations for getting the job!! I know you're not feeling super duper keen about it right now, which is more than cool, because honestly the fear and anxiety can truly put a dampener on things. Plus, I reckon there's a lot of social pressure to feel overjoyed as soon as we're offered anything, particularly after experiencing burnout during the search, but I don't think you necessarily have to feel like the heavens have come to earth, as it really is okay to just feel neutral or like a baby amount of happy about this. And, either way, we're certainly proud of you.

    People have already given such great suggestions, the only thing I wanted to add was that I have found jobs to be easier when I ask fellow coworkers and managers questions along these lines: "Is there anything I can do to make today go more smoothly? is there anything you'd like my support with?" As doing that reinforces to others your compassionate nature and instinctively makes them want to reciprocate with kindness themselves! Huge good luck to you <3
    La_La
  • La_LaLa_La PLANET MARSPosts: 136 The Mix Convert
    @AislingDM That is awesome advice, thank you! :3 Yes, you're right; dealing with the emotions against the expectation to be overjoyed can be pretty tough.
    Thanks again ^^
    ~ Dreamer ~
    AislingDM
  • AislingDMAislingDM Posts: 610 Moderator
    That is abso no worries, there is truly nothing more frustrating that beliefs and reality to being congruent with each other, it feels so confusing and weird like as if you've somehow done something wrong to feel the way you do. But you honestly haven't done anything wrong, and sometimes we benefit more from just letting our emotions be <3
    La_La
  • La_LaLa_La PLANET MARSPosts: 136 The Mix Convert
    @AislingDM Thank you, this is very helpful. I have been definitely feeling this way during my new job, its been very tough so far. I appreciate your kind words.
    ~ Dreamer ~
    AislingDM
  • BrookeeBrookee East Midlands Posts: 834 Part of The Mix Family
    Hey @La_La
    I just wanted to check in and see how you're coping with your new job. Remember you can only do your best and that is more than good enough <3
    La_La
  • La_LaLa_La PLANET MARSPosts: 136 The Mix Convert
    @Brookee Thank you, I really appreciate this. Sadly, it's been bad news. There are nice staff and some good students but there are a lot more challenges than expected for my first week.

    It has not been good, I have been overwhelmed with a lot of work in my placement and having to do many meetings and assignments after work hours with my training provider as well as my employer. Because of this, my health has been plummeting day by day.
    Staff are pretty nice and are as helpful as they can be, which is good; but the placement is full of chaos and random happenings. It's a major struggle just to get through the doors everyday and it will only get harder from here on out...
    ~ Dreamer ~
    Brookee
  • La_LaLa_La PLANET MARSPosts: 136 The Mix Convert
    I sometimes don't even want to go to sleep nor get up anymore, i just want to disappear
    ~ Dreamer ~
    Brookee
  • BrookeeBrookee East Midlands Posts: 834 Part of The Mix Family
    @La_La I'm so sorry to hear that it's been quite difficult! I just want you to know that I think its really incredible and commendable that you tried this, even if it didn't work out how you wanted it to. I'm really sorry to hear that it's been having such a negative impact on your health overall. It seems like it's a bit overwhelming and quite a stressful environment for you to be in. I wonder, have you discussed these feelings with your trainer or employer at your placement? Maybe they can ease the workload for you a little whilst you're adjusting to this new environment.

    I am really sorry this has had such a negative effect on you, and caused you so much emotional distress. I'm really proud of you for opening up and for trying it. Is this a placement you have to stay at, or is there any other options open to you?

    Sending you lots of love <3
    La_La
  • La_LaLa_La PLANET MARSPosts: 136 The Mix Convert
    @Brookee Thank you for your kind words. I will be sending you love too! It's really reassuring to hear your words during these tough times. I did alert both my placement and employer and ended up laid off, so sadly my apprenticeship is back on hold again :'( They haven't got adjustments for me sadly, so I had no choice but to leave. It's a shame because they had one small department that was a pure joy to shadow, it was called ACORN and was the most fun I've had in a long time (but they dont hire for their acorn department).

    Thank you Brookee. Right now, I'm technically unemployed again which sucks. I will have to try again from January to get a job.
    ~ Dreamer ~
    Brookee
  • Ed_Ed_ Posts: 805 Super Moderator
    Hey @La_La - echoing a lot of what @Brookee has said, you've done really well to be keeping going through this, it is a big adjustment to start a new job and it sounds like there has been a lot for you to be juggling.

    Is there anyone at the training provider that you feel you can talk to or even through your employer? They have a legal duty to make reasonable adjustments to your work when it is having an impact on your health. It sounds like there are quite a few different factors that is contributing to this, but there may be things that they can do to help mitigate these things.

    I also just wanted to check in a bit on how you are feeling more generally, in your last message you mention that you just want to disappear. Can you tell us a bit more around what you mean with this? You are doing really well in opening up to us about all of this and so do continue to reach out to us to talk through how you are feeling, we are all here for you :3 I thought it would also be useful to just drop in a couple of options for services that can provide a 1-2-1 space to talk anything through, some of which will have people available at any time of the day if you ever need or want that. Here are a few options:
    Crisis Messenger (24/7) | text THEMIX to 85258
    Samartians (24/7) | call 116 123 | email [email protected]
    Papyrus (2pm-midnight) | call 0800 068 41 41 | text 07786 209 697 | email [email protected]
    Supportline (hours vary) | call 01708 765 200
    Childline | call 0800 11 11

    Keep reaching out and remember that you deserve to feel confident and safe in all aspects of your life, work included.
    "Don't let them paint you gray. They're gonna see you're somebody, somewhere, someday. Don't ever let them take your playful heart away. Oh you're somebody nobody could replicate" ~ Roo Panes
    La_La
  • La_LaLa_La PLANET MARSPosts: 136 The Mix Convert
    @Ed Thank you, this means a lot. I really appreciate your kind words. You are very right Ed, I knew that employers do owe their staff support!!! I am glad to know that it was within my rights.
    Sadly I checked in with my employer and placement provider and in the end, I was laid off. No support apart from moving me to younger year classes and saying 'you can take a breather sometimes'. I had to speak to higher ups to get my TA supervisor to actually take what I was saying seriously. :'(
    So yeah, that was all I could do. But my last day was in a wonderful special needs unit called ACORN which helped a lot with the final day transition.

    Thanks, well I just feel like crap. I finally got a job and it almost destroyed my health, and now my apprenticeship is in pause and I'm more or less unemployed again. I just feel like i have been through too many bad things and feel shame for what happened despite doing my best. So I'm trying to move on, 'be positive' but the pain hurts a lot tbh and I just don't know how to shift it so all I can do right now is rest. It was a good learning curve, but I almost lost myself to it all; and left me feeling like I just want to stop being. I find it hard to pick up the broken pieces again especially in these times where people just expect me to be super positive and active.

    ~ Dreamer ~
    BrookeeEd_
  • BrookeeBrookee East Midlands Posts: 834 Part of The Mix Family
    @La_La I'm so sorry that this has happened to you! That's really unfair that rather than make adjustments to make your life easier there, they decided to lay you off. However, please know that this is of no fault of your own, it's their job to accommodate you, and you did the best you could and that's all anyone can ask of you, it's not a reflection on you as a person at all.

    Do you think working for somewhere like ACORN, would be beneficial to you? It's okay if work isn't something you're able to cope with right now, remember we're all on our own journey's, be gentle with yourself because I'm really incredibly proud of you and these achievements you've made during such a difficult time! Remember your life is unique and what you can and can't do doesn't determine your worth at all, you're an amazing individual, with so much love to give. You deserve to feel loved and appreciated for everything you do.

    I understand the feeling of shame when it comes to trying your best, and it not happening the way you'd like, but just look at how far you've come, you tried it and that's incredible. You found out it's not right for you, which you can only learn through trying. It's okay to feel how you're feeling, your feelings are and always will be valid. You and your mental health are the biggest priorities within this world <3. I'm really pleased to hear that you know you need to rest, and let yourself feel whatever you need to, to help you get through this time but also remember to be kind to yourself, because what you've achieved is commendable. Always remember that you and your mental health are the most important thing, jobs will come and go and you will find your place, sometimes it takes a little longer than we'd like, but you will find what you love, and what will benefit you mentally. You're allowed to be upset and to feel these feelings, nobody else should dictate how you should be or what you should be doing, we're all on our own journey's and you above anyone else know what's best for you. Resting is important, take care of yourself, because you are a truly amazing individual and you deserve so much love for all that you've done <3
    La_La
  • La_LaLa_La PLANET MARSPosts: 136 The Mix Convert
    edited December 2021
    @Brookee Thanks, your words were really nice; I felt like crying because it really is nice to hear that. I feel very low but you are right, I did many achievements too. Thank you, I will try to value my needs more from now on too. And although I knew that employers should give employees ways to help their adjustment go easier i did not know that it was their duty either, so I will definitely make a note of that when looking for future employment. Thank you for the really helpful and kind information, I really appreciate it.

    I also found out that apprenticeships usually guarantee you one day off and official hours in your work week to do study, yet my employer didn't...I think i may have put myself in a bind XD

    Yeah, I'm sure that ACORN would have many difficulties and tribulations as well, but the smaller group environment makes it so much more beneficial to deal with. I like smaller environments, or at least big ones that have room for me to spend time resting or doing things alone whenever I get overwhelmed. It's reassuring to have a change of pace sometimes so that I'm not busy all of the time.
    ~ Dreamer ~
    Brookee
  • BrookeeBrookee East Midlands Posts: 834 Part of The Mix Family
    @La_La You're more than welcome, sometimes you just need someone from outside the situation to give you a different perspective, you tried your best and that's all anybody can ask for! That's incredible, even turning up to work is an achievement in itself! I'm really proud of you for the achievements you've made. It definitely is, It's to do with equal opportunities, and the fact they didn't do that, seems like you had a lucky escape, because your needs should always be met! Of course! Anytime honestly!

    That's awful, I'm so sorry they made you work so much, it seems like it really run you down and drained you, so it's no surprise your mental health was deteriorating. I'm so sorry, you don't deserve that at all!

    That's great that this has given you some insight into the sort of environment you'd like to work in! This'll be very beneficial for you in the future, but also know that there's no rush at all, take things at your own pace and know that that's okay. Your mental health is more important than any job <3
    La_La
  • La_LaLa_La PLANET MARSPosts: 136 The Mix Convert
    @Brookee You're right, thank you. 😊 I wish you all the best too.
    ~ Dreamer ~
    Brookee
  • cocobeancocobean Posts: 11 Settling in
    Hey @La_La it’s great that you were able to reach out and get support when you were feeling burnt out whilst job searching and congratulations for being offered the apprenticeship.

    You mentioned that you are feeling overwhelmed in your work placement, and this is affecting your mental health. Is there something that you enjoy doing that you can do after work? This could be spending time with a friend or family member, who can also offer support.

    Your mental health comes first, so it's always good to have a self-care plan. Please keep us updated so we know how you are getting on <3
    La_La
  • La_LaLa_La PLANET MARSPosts: 136 The Mix Convert
    @cocobean Thank you for the kind words, I really appreciate them. Actually, I did try self care plans such as contacting family, mindfulness, cooking, watching relaxing television shows, going to bed early and other things and I even alerted staff but nothing actually worked. From that I realized that my health is not the full problem this time.
    So I had no choice but to leave after discussing with my boss.

    Sadly that's the end of my apprenticeship for now....
    ~ Dreamer ~
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